Do I
by You Raise Me Up
Summary: SEQUEL TO SHATTERED! Lancelot and Cara's story continues with a whole new set of twists and turns. Cara struggles to let go of the past while Lancelot tries to figure out if Cara can ever love him for who he is...Enjoy!
1. Fall Into Me

**Ok so here is the first chapter of my new story "Do I" This story was altogether inspired by the song Do I by Luke Bryan. I heard it on the radio and instantly thought about the whole Lancelot/ Cara love theme I had going in my previous story Shattered. Each chapter in this story is based off of a song and I will have the title and author at the beginning of each chapter. You are gonna see a lot of country because every country song tells a story and a lot of The Fray and Nickelback simply because their music is from deep within the heart. If you like this story then I'm glad. If you don't then don't read it. The story is complete so all I have to do is upload the individual chapters. Like before if you want to leave a review go right ahead. If you don't, well that's ok too. So all I have left to say is enjoy!**

**Love always, **

**~ You Raise Me Up **

*******

_**1 – Fall Into Me – Emerson Drive**_

It had been a week since the battle on Baden Hill. Cara had persuaded Dagonet to let her out of bed a week early on two conditions. One, she was supposed to take it easy and two, she wasn't allowed to go anywhere without one of the knights. Now he didn't come right out and say it, but Cara understood his meaning. In plain terms she needed a babysitter.

Tristan hadn't been so lucky and was still locked in his room. Cara had been by to see him many times to try and provide some company, but it was Tristan. He wasn't much of a talker and he was certainly incapable of holding long drawn out conversations, so Cara's visits were short, but frequent. She knew it annoyed him, but he couldn't do a single thing about it.

Cara had caught him trying to get out of bed more than once. Though she would scold him she never sold him up the river. She knew how Dagonet was on matters like those. Besides he kept silent about the time she had gotten out of bed, snuck in his room, and then hid under his bed when Dagonet came in. She owed him. If Dagonet had found out there was a good chance she wouldn't be out of bed now.

The young woman sat alone in the tavern. Well, not alone. Vanora watched her from a distance, as did Bors who stood next to her at the bar. Cara was left to sit alone at the knights' usual table in the corner. It would be another hour before the tavern got busy and as much as Cara wanted to help she couldn't. First Dagonet would have her head if she did and that would only happen after Vanora got through with her.

The red head was just as strict as the gentle giant and she wouldn't even let Cara get her own drinks. In fact Cara wasn't allowed to go back to work in the tavern for another two weeks. Dagonet had already told her that if it were up to him she would be working by the end of this week. But it wasn't up to him. It was up to Van and right now there was no negotiating with her.

Cara didn't notice Galahad walk over to the table. She was too busy thinking. In fact that was all she did these days. Sit and think. It was driving her insane. "Thinking again, Cara?" His voice snapped her out of her reverie and her head whipped around to face Galahad. She was surprised not only to see him, but Gawain as well.

She shouldn't have been surprised though. Those two never went anywhere without the other. They might as well be brothers. She looked at them sheepishly and they only laughed at her expense. At last the laughter subsided and Van brought the two drinks and refilled Cara's. "So, what brings you two here?" Cara asked, taking a sip of ale. Her eyes were cautious and the youngest knight picked up on it, but Gawain was the one to answer.

Gawain chuckled. "Cara, you're far too suspicious. Can't we share a drink with our favorite sister?" Cara smiled one of her famous smiles. It was the kind of smile that said '_tell me the truth before I decide to kill you'_. Gawain's smile dropped off his face and he looked at Galahad with a seriousness that Cara couldn't quite place.

The two looked at each other a moment more and Cara realized what was going on. They were arguing. Though they didn't say anything Cara could read their expressions like a book. They were hiding something from her.

"Look whatever it is you have to tell me it can't be as bad as you think," she offered, breaking the tense moment between the two. Galahad looked at Gawain before opening his mouth.

"We've come to tell you the happy news."

"Though it may not be so happy for you," Gawain quickly interjected. Cara remained silent, but vigilant. Galahad took a deep breath.

"Arthur is getting married." Cara's face lit up like a light house.

"To Guinevere," Gawain interjected once more before Cara could get a word in. Cara's smile fell and she grabbed her drink off the table.

"That's a mistake." The two men looked at one another and then at Cara. So she hadn't changed her mind about the Woad. She took a rather large sip before slamming her drink down on the table. The pewter mug hit the wooden table with a loud thud and it caught Bors' and Vanora's attention, but not for long. They soon went back to bickering about something or another. "Why didn't Arthur tell me himself?"

"Because he didn't want you to try and talk him out of it," Gawain explained sitting down his own mug.

"I wouldn't be able to even if I tried," Cara said, slightly discouraged.

"Cara, you could talk a starving bear out of its only meal," Galahad pointed out. Cara either didn't realize it or was very good at hiding it, but she could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. "He wanted us to inform you so that you could attend."

"I'll think about it," she said softly, slightly angered.

"Cara, please," Galahad begged.

"I said I'd think about it." Cara's eyes flashed angrily and both men knew to drop the conversation when she began to storm out of the tavern. Bors went to follow her, but Galahad and Gawain beat him to it. Bors knew that Arthur had asked them to tell Cara and he had a feeling this is how she would take the news. He knew why it upset her so.

Gawain and Galahad were on her heels trying to get her to stop and listen, but she neither stopped nor slowed. The two were about ready to follow into her quarters, but she slammed the door in their faces and they could follow her no further. She sunk down on the bed and something didn't feel right. She looked down at her side. Sure enough, it was bleeding.

"Just bloody great," she mumbled. Cara was able to bind the wound, but she was almost certain that Dagonet would have a fit when he came to check on her. The young woman was getting up to leave once more when Lancelot came through the door. "Don't you ever knock?" she snapped. Lancelot was tempted to run back out the door seeing as how Cara was in another one of her moods. The blonde plopped back down on the bed and stared out the window.

"What's the matter now," Lancelot asked his voice soft. Cara felt his soothing hands massage her shoulder blades as he sat behind her. "Cara, what's wrong?" he asked again. Cara shook her head.

"Nothing," she replied. It was a simple rely and Lancelot let out a deep, annoyed sigh. He couldn't help her if she would talk to him.

"Cara, do you trust me?" Cara was caught off guard by the question.

"What kind of question is that?" she implored somewhat angrily. Her eyes met his with a dubious look.

"Just answer the question?" he begged. His arms moved from her shoulders to around her neck, drawing her closer to him. Their hands intertwined.

"Yes," she replied. Again it was simple.

"Then let me help you." He waited a few moments before asking her again. "What's wrong?" Cara took a deep breath before beginning.

"Arthur is getting married." So that's what this was all about. Lancelot had to think carefully of how to answer. He didn't want her blowing up at him and letting her temper get the best of her as it often did.

"I don't see why you're upset about that. It is a happy occasion."

"He's marrying the Woad, Lancelot," she interrupted, but that was all she said. It was as though she was trying to prevent herself from going overboard. Cara didn't want to yell at Lancelot, but she knew that once she started yelling she wouldn't be able to stop. So her replies were simple and her voice was soft.

"Cara, who Arthur marries, is his business," Lancelot said softly. Cara turned around in his arms and put some distance between the two of them. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks. She was crying. "Hey," he said softly, taking his thumb and wiping the tears away. "Don't cry."

"Lancelot, I'm so confused," she finally confessed. The curly haired knight finally realized that this wasn't just about Arthur. Lancelot looked at her questionably, but that only made the tears come faster.

"Shh it's alright," he comforted, drawing her close once more. Her head rested on his shoulder as she cried. "You don't have to explain to me." Cara was glad she didn't have to explain. Even if she wanted to she couldn't. How could she tell the man she promised to marry that she didn't know if she could love him? How could she tell her fiancé that she might have made a mistake? She couldn't. Not yet. She was lost, completely and totally lost.


	2. What A Shame

_**2 – What A Shame – Shinedown **_

Lancelot had finally left an hour ago and for that Cara was grateful. She didn't know how much longer she could've kept up her charade. It was hard. She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to be able to understand the reason why she cried. It wasn't Arthur's wedding that troubled her. It was her own. The fact that Arthur was getting married made Cara wonder how long she had until Lancelot set the date.

Cara agreed with Lancelot. Arthur could marry who he wished, but Cara didn't know if she could support him in his decision and it would be even harder to imagine that she and Lancelot would be in that exact same spot soon after. That's what frightened her.

Cara jumped at a sudden knock on her door. She didn't even get a word out before Dagonet walked in. She slumped back on the bed. "Here we go," she mumbled in audibly under her breath. Cara didn't say anything as he sat in a chair beside her bed.

He sighed an angry sigh when he saw her side had reopened. "You've gotta take better care of yourself, Cara." Cara saw him threading another needle.

"I'm really quite fine, Dag," she said shying away as he removed the broken stitches.

"You're bleeding, Cara. That's never fine." She flinched as the needle went in and out, but didn't make a sound.

"So did you hear the happy news," Cara finally said, through her teeth. Dagonet nodded.

"Are you going to the wedding?" he asked, responding with a question of his own.

"No."

"You should go," he said, simply, pulling the thread through once more. Cara winced when he pulled a little harder than he needed to.

"And watch Arthur make the biggest mistake of his life?" she answered somewhat angrily. "I don't think so. Ouch!"

"Hold still," Dagonet chided. "What do you have against Guinevere?" Dagonet asked, though he wasn't expecting such an elaborate answer.

"Her people are the reason why I didn't get the happy ending everyone else got and if it weren't for her I wouldn't be sitting here with a hole in my back," she answered hotly. It was as though she had hours to think of her answer rather than a few seconds.

"So, you regret saving Lancelot's life?" Cara's eyes flashed in anger and Dagonet realized he opened a whole new set of doors, a set of doors that shouldn't have ever been opened.

"You think I regret saving his life?" she asked softly, but her voice was venomous. Dagonet's face was calm as he tried to weasel his way out of this one. Cara never liked to be challenged and that's exactly what Dagonet had done.

"Do you?" he asked in a lighter tone of voice. Cara glared at the knight that was currently stitching her up.

"No and you were a fool to bring up such a question," was her quick reply. In Dagonet's mind it was too quick of an answer. She was hiding something. Dagonet wrapped the wound tightly before getting up.

"Get some rest," he ordered softly.

"I've had enough rest to last me a lifetime," she said getting up, but Dagonet stopped her. His hands were firm against her shoulders preventing her from going any further.

"You've lost your privilege of getting out of bed."

"Dag, now is not the time for you to act like my father," she answered pushing his hands away from her and moving to the door.

"Cara!" he called after her, but the only response was her slamming the door as she exited.

The young blonde woman leisurely strolled through the barn. She passed several of the other knight's horses before she came to Aidan's stall. The black stallion poked his massive head out of the stall door at Cara's approach. "Hey, buddy," she cooed, stroking the stallion's forehead. Aidan snorted and pawed the ground. He was tired of being in the confined stall and Cara could sense it. She had been thinking of taking a ride to clear her mind and now was as good a time as ever.

Cara grabbed her saddle and bridle off the rack and entered Aidan's stall. The black horse pranced around excitedly, already knowing he was going out. Cara stopped and stood stock still. "You keep prancing like that and I'm gonna leave." The stallion snorted, but stopped prancing about and stood still while Cara tacked him up.

She led him warily and quietly out of the stall looking in every direction. She was getting ready to mount up, but a voice stopped her. "You sure you should be doing that?" Cara looked at Arthur. He approached her carefully already knowing she was slightly angry with him. He half expected her to run, but she didn't move.

"Are you gonna stop me?" she asked standing beside Aidan. Arthur moved to stand in front of the stallion and he grabbed a hold of Aidan's bridle so he could pet the beast. Aidan tossed his head up and Arthur was forced to let go. He was just like his mistress.

"No," was his simple reply. "I just want to know why my favorite sister isn't coming to my wedding."

"Arthur, I –"

"Don't start on Gwen, Cara," Arthur interrupted, already knowing what Cara was going to say. He didn't want to hear her complain.

"What do you want me to tell you, Arthur?" Cara asked. "That I will accept her like a sister? That I will be nice to her when she comes up to me? That I will welcome her with open arms? I can't do that, Arthur."

"I don't expect you too," he said stoically. Cara looked at him quizzically. She was confused. "All I expect is that you come to my wedding. I will never expect you to like her and I will never expect you to understand that I love her, but I do expect to see you there." Cara nodded looking to the ground and then back at her commander.

"I'll come," she said finally. Though she knew she would regret that decision. Arthur gave her a small hug and Cara gave him a small smile. "Jols!" she called. The stable master appeared at her side. "Could you please unsaddle Aidan for me?"

"Of course," he answered, but Aidan wasn't happy. He stopped his feet like an angry child, but followed Jols back into his stall. Arthur looked at Cara confused.

"I don't feel much like riding anymore," she said shrugging her shoulders.

"It's probably for the best," Arthur said, almost laughing. "Dagonet probably wouldn't have approved of you riding."

"That was the point," Cara said under her breath hoping Arthur wouldn't catch it, but he did.

"You just wanted to spite him didn't you?" Cara shrugged.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Arthur shook his head at her. "When is the wedding?" she asked as Arthur walked her back to her room. Cara was surprised that as many times as she discussed the wedding she never got the date.

"Three days from now," he answered in a serious tone. Cara nodded. She would go. What else did she have to do and besides Arthur was her friend even if he was making the biggest mistake of his life. It was quite a shame in Cara's point of view. Oh well, it was his life after all. Cara would just be there to say 'I told ya so'. Although now was a time when she didn't really want to. Cara found it unsettling to have a Woad, her worst enemy, so close.

Arthur left as soon as he saw her safely to her room and for that Cara was grateful. She was alone once again and that was how Cara preferred it at the moment. She was still at a loss for what to do about Lancelot and she had no idea how to cope with it. She was nervous and scared about what he would think of her and how the other knights would think of her. She should've never promised him a wedding to begin with.


	3. Amazed

_**3 – Amazed – Lonestar **_

Three days passed and like Arthur had said the wedding was today. Everyone in the fort was invited. Even Tristan was allowed out of bed long enough to attend and he seemed happy enough. In fact everyone seemed happy… except Cara.

She took a deep breath as she sat in solitary on her bed. She was already dressed and ready to go. She just had to make herself move. The gown she wore was the simple green one she liked so much. She figured she might as well wear it. It wasn't going to any good use in her wardrobe. She let her eyes wander out the window.

The townsfolk were happy and chatting excitedly. A young boy held on to his mother's hand and Cara couldn't help but notice the huge grin plastered on his face. The grin actually brought a small smile to Cara's face, but it instantly disappeared when the first Woad came into view.

"Cara!" Gawain called knocking on her door. "Cara!" The woman jumped at the unexpected noise. She jumped off the bed and walked briskly toward the door. "Cara!" he called again.

"I'm coming!" she snapped, opening the door. Gawain's eyes got big and he wasn't the only one standing there. Galahad couldn't take his eyes off her. "Where's Lancelot?" she asked looking around for the curly haired knight. She looked at Galahad whose eyes weren't where she liked them to be.

Gawain snapped out of his reverie and he caught Cara's gaze. Galahad. Her hand struck his face faster than a snake and Galahad's head snapped up. "Eyes up here, Pup," she spat. It had been forever since the two had seen Cara in a dress that extravagant. Gawain laughed at his cousin's expense, but answered Cara's question nonetheless.

"He's waiting for us there," he said through his laughter. Galahad was red from embarrassment, but he and Gawain followed Cara to the cliff face where the wedding was to take place. When Cara got there she was not only surprised, but angry as well.

Cara held her head high as she went to stand beside Lancelot. The young woman pulled away when he went to hug her. Disappointment showed on Lancelot's face, but he replaced it with a smile and merely stood beside Cara with his arm draped around her shoulders.

Woads were everywhere. They were to her left and to her right. They were in front of her and behind her. Cara fidgeted nervously. She didn't like Woads and she certainly didn't like the feeling of being trapped. The rest of the knights were beside her and Lancelot, but Woads were right next to them.

Her eyes kept darting between her fellow knights and the Woads that surrounded them. Cara wanted to leave. She wanted to get away from there as fast as she possibly could, but her feet remained rooted in the ground. She had to stay for Arthur.

There was a moment during the wedding when Cara's eyes caught Guinevere's. Cara's ocean eyes held hostility and hatred. The Woad's dark brown orbs had a catlike sense. They were feral and Cara didn't like it one bit. Cara's eyes darted to Merlin. He was seconds away from marrying them and Cara just couldn't watch.

She closed her eyes. An image she thought was gone appeared in front of her. It wasn't her dream. It wasn't of when she was a child. It was of Gareth. It was the last time she saw him. Lying there on the ground dead as a doornail, courtesy of the Woads that now surrounded her. The moment only last a few seconds, but it felt like eternity.

Cara's eyes snapped open. They were joined together by one goblet of wine. Cara bit her tongue to keep from screaming all the foul words and protests that wanted to spill from her lips. Lancelot hugged her against him and Cara instinctively pulled away.

Lancelot was hurt by the fact that she pulled away, but said nothing and didn't let his concern show. Instead he focused his attention back on the wedding, but still kept one eye on Cara. She looked hurt and scared. She looked alone and angry. Lancelot wanted to pull her close. He wanted to comfort her. But he knew she would only pull away again.

That's all she had done. Every time he tried to pull her close she would pull away. It was like there was an invisible force between them that drew them apart and Lancelot didn't like it one bit. She was his fiancée and now he couldn't even hold her.

Ocean eyes scanned the people as the Woad's shot fiery arrows into the sky. They marked a new beginning for the newlywed couple. "Come on, Cara," Lancelot said guiding her away from the crowd, but Cara shoved his hands off her.

"No," she protested, walking toward her commander. Lancelot followed her, worried of what she might do. Lancelot and the rest of her brothers in arms were shocked at what happened next. She wrapped her arms around Guinevere and actually gave her a hug. The Woad seemed equally surprised because she didn't hug back. "Congratulations to the both of you," she said with a smile, giving Arthur a hug as well.

The knights and Arthur didn't realize it, but it wasn't a simple hug and the Woad caught its meaning. It was a warning. Guinevere's eyes followed Cara and she acted as though the hug was just a regular congratulatory hug, but she caught the death like grip Cara had on her for two seconds.

The blonde woman strode proudly passed her friends. They were as equally shocked as Arthur, whose mouth still hung wide open like a fish at the brief moment. He wondered if it had even occurred. A smile soon replaced his shock, thinking that Cara had actually accepted the fact that Guinevere was now a big part of his life.

Cara had a smile of her own plastered on her face. Guinevere was going to confront her. That was one thing the two had in common and though Cara didn't realize it. The Woad probably had more things in common with her than she wanted to admit. Woads never back down from a challenge and in that simple hug Cara had given her the biggest challenge of all.

Lancelot caught up with her, but the other knights remained a few paces behind her. "That was a brave thing you did back there," he said, grabbing a hold of her hand. Cara wanted to shake him off, but she didn't want him getting too suspicious.

"It was easier than I thought it would be," she admitted. "I never thought I could get that close to a Woad without killing it." Lancelot's smile faded. So Cara's hatred hadn't changed in a split second like everyone thought. She was still Cara.

"Still Arthur appreciated it," Lancelot offered trying to keep conversation. "You know maybe it's time to let go." Cara sent him a glare. She seemed to be doing that quite a lot lately and no matter how many times she did it Lancelot never got used to it. The whole look was simply unnerving.

"I'll start being friendly to the Woads when you start being friendly to the Roman's," she spat. Lancelot's face contorted in disgust and Cara allowed a faint smile to cross her face.


	4. Stand

_**4 – Stand – Rascal Flatts **_

It was another busy night in the tavern as Cara whirled around with a tray of dinks in her right hand and a full pitcher in her left. There was laughing and gambling and then there were the wenches that kept the Romans and some of the knights occupied.

For the first time in a long time Arthur had joined the knights. They seemed to be having a good time with all the laughing and joking that was coming from that corner of the room. Bors was being loud as always and Lancelot was being his cocky self.

She busied herself at other tables, not wanting to interrupt. Like always Cara wasn't paying much attention to where she was going and she nearly ran into one of the tavern wenches. "Hey watch it," the wench spat in a high pitched annoying voice. Cara was silent and said nothing in return.

Cara hadn't noticed Lancelot watching her and he was highly displeased with the way she cowered like a child when the wench got in her face. The Cara he used to know would've had that girl on her ass in less than a second, but now she seemed so…restrained like a chained dog.

"Hey, Cara!" Galahad called across the room. His voice was slightly slurred and he swayed slightly when he lifted his arm to get her attention. "How 'bout a couple drinks over here?" Cara looked over to see Galahad waving at her, beckoning her to come over and refill their mugs.

Her footfalls were silent as she approached. For once the smile on her face wasn't forced and it seemed to brighten the room. "Don't you think you've had enough?" she asked observing his drunken behavior. Bors laughed and Galahad shook his head.

The young woman refilled their drinks one by one and moved to leave, but Lancelot caught her arm and pulled her onto his lap. "I think you got the wrong woman," Cara joked lightly.

"And what makes you think that," he asked breathing against her neck. It was seductive and tempting to say the least, but Cara didn't fall for it.

"The wenches are over there," she said turning her head and pointing a finger towards the bar where a group of whores had gathered. One looked over and smiled slyly at Lancelot. He chuckled in her ear.

"Who said I wanted a wench?"

"Well at least one of them would warm your bed," Galahad joked, though no one laughed. In fact everyone was shocked. He probably wouldn't have said it if he was sober, but it hurt nonetheless. Lancelot looked about ready to kill him and Tristan was ready to step between them if a fight accidentally erupted. Cara didn't want to have to deal with this topic and moved to get up.

"Stay," he ordered softly, hanging onto her, refusing to let her go. The smile had disappeared from her face.

"I have work to do," she answered, excusing herself as she walked away. Lancelot sent a glare in Galahad's direction, but the young man wasn't looking. He soon turned his attention back to Cara. She pushed her way through the wenches to refill her pitcher and he frowned when one of them seemed to be mocking her and shoved her back. This time she didn't stand by and take it. She set her pitcher on the counter and socked the wench good in the mouth.

The wench was on the floor and the knights' attention was drawn to the wench and Cara who seemed like she had had enough. Lancelot looked back down at the table. "That's my girl," he mumbled to himself.

The knights watched the women carefully. The whore got to her feet and made to punch Cara, but the knight was quicker. She grabbed the wench's arm and spun her around backwards, pushing her back to the hard floor.

The knights rose to their feet and Vanora came running towards the fighting women, though it wasn't much of a fight. "What's the meaning of this?" she asked harshly. The wenches came to their friend's aid while Cara remained silent. "Cara, go home," Vanora ordered sternly. The wench smiled and Cara's face remained stoic.

She left the tavern without a word and only Lancelot followed her out. "Cara," he called after her, she didn't even turn to look at him. "Cara!" he called louder. Still she did not turn to face him. He quickened his pace, while hers remained the same brisk walk. He grabbed he arm and spun he around to face him. She would not look at him. "What's wrong?" he asked in a calmer voice than before.

"Nothing," she replied simply and softly.

"Cara," he sighed, knowing that she was shrugging him off again. He only wanted to help her and all she seemed to do was push him away. It was slightly unnerving. He used to be able to predict what she would do and how she would react to certain things. Now she seemed so closed off from the world and Lancelot didn't like the fact that he was the one getting pushed away.

"I said it was nothing alight," she snapped, pulled her arm out of his grasp and storming off in the opposite direction. The dark haired knight knew she didn't want to talk about it. Hell she did no t seem to want to talk about anything these last few days.

Not once did Cara look behind her. She didn't want to. It hurt too much. She knew she had hurt him and she knew that Lancelot knew or at least had an idea of how she felt. If he didn't then he was pretty dense. Cara wanted to tell him what the wench had said. How Cara was no longer a brave knight, but a common tavern whore that had been taking advantage of Lancelot.

In a sense it was true. Then again another part of he simply told he that the wench was angry with her. After all, Lancelot had been popular among the women. Cara felt bad about it. She knew Lancelot missed bedding the women, but she knew that he only wanted her happy. The truth was simple. Cara was far from happy.


	5. Ride On

_**5 – Ride On – Celtic Thunder & Ryan Kelly**_

Cara took a shirt off the laundry pile and folded it neatly. She sat on the riverbank below her and Gareth's hill. It was wash day for Cara and she was already done washing. The cloths had been drying in the sun for a few hours while Cara exercised Aidan and now all she had to do was fold. Aidan grabbed one of her shirts in his mouth and tossed it playfully in the air.

The blonde woman laughed at the black stallion's antics. "'You wanna help too?" she asked playfully. The stallion snorted and dropped the garment in front of her. "I didn't think so," she said, laughing lightly once more. The stallion snorted and pawed at the ground. He was bored and he was letting Cara know it, but Cara paid him no heed.

"Need any help?" a voice asked form behind her. Cara jumped at the familiar voice and she mentally slapped herself for it. She never liked being snuck up on and she was ashamed that Lancelot was the one to do it. She turned her head to face him, but he was already seated beside her.

"No, I was just finishing up," she answered quickly. Lancelot however wouldn't take no for an answer and he grabbed the green dress she had worn to the wedding. "Lancelot, I really can manage," she protested. Lancelot didn't care and he responded with a statement that had nothing to do with folding clothes.

"You should wear a dress more often. They bring out your beauty," he said examining the garment.

"Doesn't mean they're comfortable," Cara snapped. She bit her lip angrily once she realized she had snapped. "I'm sorry, Lancelot," she apologized softly. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that." The dark haired man waved it off with a swipe of his hand.

"It's alright, Cara, I'm still too proud of you to be angry with you for a simple thing like that. Beside you used to put me in my place all the time," he said dropping the folded dress on the pile. He didn't do a very good job, so Cara would fix it later when she got back to her room.

"Proud of me for what?" Cara asked, still folding the laundry.

"For hugging Guinevere. It took courage, Cara," he said staring out over the land. Cara didn't say anything. What could she say? It wasn't like she was going to tell him the truth about the hug. That would be the biggest mistake of her life and Lancelot would probably tell Arthur to keep a close watch out for her. That was the last thing she needed. "I can see why you like this place so much," Lancelot said suddenly. His voice was soft and sounded far away. "It reminds you of home."

Cara nodded in agreement. That was the reason why she and Gareth liked this place so much. It was hidden in the trees and untouched by the Romans and the Saxons. The river ran clear and the trees swayed in the afternoon breeze. Unconsciously, her hand went to the pendent that still resided around her neck. Thankfully, the gesture went unnoticed by Lancelot or at least she thought it did.

Lancelot's head dropped, but he turned it so he could still watch Cara. She continued to fold the remaining articles of clothing, but she stopped when she caught Lancelot looking at her. "What are you looking at?" she asked curiously.

"I'm looking at you," he answered in the same tone. He leaned over and he gave her a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away. Lancelot didn't miss the fact that Cara went about her work like the kiss didn't even happen. He didn't miss the fact that she was unfazed. No emotion was on her face. She was blank as she usually was.

Cara grabbed her bag and piled the freshly folded laundry into it. Aidan pranced behind her to get away from Lancelot's annoying stallion. Lancelot let out a hearty laugh. "Cara, I believe your horse is afraid of mine," he joked.

"Nah," Cara answered, stroking the black's forehead. "He just doesn't want to get into trouble for killing your old nag."

"You think he's a nag?" Cara shook her head.

"I know he's a nag," she said smiling. That was all she did and already Lancelot was smiling. Cara felt a little bit on confidence go through her. Maybe she could pull off her charade long enough so she could get out without him noticing. All she had to do was leave the fort and he would never find her. Her greatest enemy would be Tristan and he wasn't allowed out of bed yet. It was the perfect time.

"Well, then since you have so much confidence in you animal you wouldn't mind making a little bet." He stated mounting up. Cara followed his example, but they remained where they were.

"If this nag beats your fiery stallion to the fort then I want you to spend the night with me," he said smiling one of his famous flirtatious smiles. He wanted her to go to his bed. That same bed where he had taken more than a few dozen wenches in the past 15 years. Cara didn't like the idea one bit, but she didn't let it show.

"And if I win?" Cara asked curiously, wondering what she would get out of this.

"Then you get the satisfaction of winning," he answered lightly with a huge grin on his face.

"That hardly seems fair," Cara protested, she knew what she wanted, but there was no way Lancelot would let her go over a horse race.

"Well then what would you like?" Lancelot asked. He was bending to her will, but Cara could never get out of the marriage she promised Lancelot.

"I want you to give me some space," she said, but she instantly regretted the words that she chose to use. Lancelot nodded warily. He didn't like that deal. He barely saw her as it was and now he expected her to give her more space. Lancelot now realized that she was pulling away and he had to rein her in before he lost her. Reluctantly, Lancelot agreed to the deal.

"Ready," Lancelot asked. Cara nodded. He had to win. He had to. If he didn't win there was a good chance that he would hardly get to see Cara and as much as he wanted to give her what she wanted he couldn't go very long without seeing her fair face. He loved her, but he was beginning to wonder if she still loved him.

"Go," the both cried out simultaneously. It didn't take much for Aidan. He leaped into an instant gallop and Lancelot's did the same. Cara urged her horse on. She had to win. She didn't want to spend an uncomfortable night with Lancelot. Aidan was ahead, but Lancelot wasn't far behind. Aidan was a fast horse, but it turned out Lancelot's was faster. His black stallion won by less than a foot. Cara wanted to argue the matter, but she knew he won fair and square. Now she had to face her punishment, a night with Lancelot.


	6. Wait For You

_**6 – Wait For You – Elliott Yamin **_

Cara dressed for the evening in her own room. She picked out the light blue dress she wore when she got back from the worst mission she had ever been on. It was the mission in which she lost Gareth and she could remember the first thing she put on after she got back.

The light blue gown fit her well. It flowed over her and went down to her ankles. Cara twiddled her thumbs as she awaited Lancelot. He was coming to get her. They were going to the tavern for a few drinks and then she would go with him back to his room.

It wasn't something Cara wanted. In fact it was the opposite and Lancelot wouldn't be too happy once he found out that Cara was just going back to his place to crash. She knew he wanted more, but he wasn't getting it. Cara didn't know if she could ever give him more.

A rap on the door brought her out of her deep thought and she went to the door. Lancelot stood seductively in her doorway. Cara's face felt hot and she was sure she blushed. "I have done the impossible," Lancelot said triumphantly. "I made you blush." Cara smacked him playfully.

"Nah, I was thinking you were someone else," she joked with a fake smile on her face. Lancelot was glad she was smiling and joking with him. What he didn't know was that it was all a fake. Every smile she made was careful every joke was thought out to a certain extent.

The knights were already seated and standing around their usual table. Dagonet was ever watchful and he still disapproved of Cara being out of bed, but he knew that no force on earth could keep Cara some place she didn't want to be. He gave her a warm smile just to make her feel comfortable, but Cara looked far from it and Dagonet noticed.

If Tristan were there he probably would've pointed it out to Cara later. Her emotions weren't hidden very well. Though the less observant knights aka Galahad and Gawain were too busy playing with the wenches in the tavern to notice Cara's unhappy mood. Lancelot tried to read Cara, but he was never an expert on those types of things so he gave up after a few tries and simply began to enjoy the evening that he was going to have with Cara.

The blonde woman felt a little out of place at the tavern. It was loud like it usually was with the Romans and the wenches that sat on as many laps as they could in one night. Vanora was around serving drinks and when Cara offered her assistance Vanora shot her a small glare that said she wasn't allowed up yet.

Cara slumped in her chair and sipped at her mug of ale. She really wasn't in the mood for drinking and Lancelot could tell. "Are you feeling alright, Cara?" he finally asked, noticing how quiet she had become since they entered the noisy atmosphere.

Cara put on one of her fake smiles. "I'm fine," she answered smoothly, "just tired." Lancelot nodded warily. He didn't like the way Cara was acting. In fact she had just starting acting like this when she found out about the wedding between Arthur and Guinevere. Lancelot finally had enough of Cara's mood. She wasn't having a very good time. He could plainly see that and she just seemed out of it.

"Come on," he said, chugging the last of his ale and getting up. Cara didn't even drink half of hers, but she got up to follow him. Lancelot wrapped an arm around her waist and led her quietly out of the tavern and toward his room.

The corridors were silent and empty. No one was out right now and Cara couldn't understand why. The night was still young and there was plenty of time for drinking and gambling. Lancelot's hold around her was loose yet it provided a sense of security. Cara liked that feeling, but she didn't like that it was Lancelot who held her.

Again, Cara wanted to slap herself. Gareth wasn't here and he wasn't coming back. Cara thought she had already gotten past all this, but it turned out she was just fooling herself. Lancelot opened the door to his room in one swift second. Cara didn't even notice. One moment she was in the hall and the next she was inside his room.

The bed was in the corner and a wardrobe sat in the adjacent one. Cara was surprised at how clean and empty his room really was. She was expecting things to be thrown everywhere. He was actually surprisingly neat. His weapons and armor rested neatly on the desk beside his wardrobe. His twin swords were the only thing that resided by the bed.

Car slipped off her boots and placed them next to his by the wardrobe. The floor was cold and she instantly climbed on to the bed. Lancelot threw a couple of logs on the fireplace that resided near the door that led into the wash room. His arms wrapped around her as he climbed in next to her. Cara forced her muscles to relax. If she tensed even the littlest she knew Lancelot would let go and he would grow even more suspicious than he already was.

His body was warm against hers. Cara could feel his bare chest against the thin material of the dress. He was extremely well muscled and Cara couldn't argue the fact that he was very attractive. Her mind quickly erased the thought and she was left with the image of Gareth. Why could he let her be happy? Why couldn't she let go. True, she no longer suffered from dreams, but she was suffering from losing him.

Cara no longer saw his face or heard his voice, but every time someone touched her it was like it was Gareth. Maybe she was letting her imagination run away with her. Or maybe she just needed to get away. Whatever the case, Cara was falling and soon there would be no one there to catch her.

Lancelot's breath blew past her ear. She felt warm and safe on the little bed and Lancelot was enjoying this more than ever. Cara didn't once roll over and she didn't once act seductively towards him. Cara was silent and still.

"I'm sorry," Lancelot suddenly said. Cara couldn't resist the urge to roll over and look him in the eyes. He looked at her and she looked at him with a questioning gaze. "I shouldn't have pushed you to marry me," he said. Cara wanted to speak, to protest, but Lancelot silenced her. "You aren't ready and I can see that now."

"Lancelot, I―" But the man cut her off quickly.

"Cara, you aren't ready to be married. Love maybe, but not marry. You are still hurting and I can't stand to see you in so much pain." So Lancelot had known all along. He just chose now to come out with it.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. Her voice was barely above a whisper and she chocked on her own words.

"I just want you to know that I'll wait for you. I don't care if it takes weeks, months, or even years. I'll always be right here waiting." Cara snuggled against his chest.

"I don't deserve you," she simply. And those were the last words spoken before both of them drifted off to sleep.


	7. How To Save A Life

_**7 – How to Save a Life – The Fray **_

The next day didn't start off very eventful. Cara slipped out of Lancelot's room before the sun even rose and she made her way back to her own room. She changed quickly into a more comfortable outfit before heading towards the stable.

Aidan was already eating his morning meal courtesy of Jols. That man was always up before any of the knights and Cara couldn't see how he did it. "Morning, Cara," the man greeted as he threw a flake of hay in for Gawain's animal.

"Morning, Jols," she said returning the greeting. The stable hand went back to his duties not paying Cara any mind and Cara stroked Aidan's velvety neck lovingly. The young woman leaned in the corner of the stall door and waited for Aidan to finish eating.

"He's a beautiful animal," a feminine voice said. Cara didn't have to look to know who it was. She knew. It was the Woad.

"Yeah, I suppose he is," Cara answered stoically. She wasn't in the mood to see the Woad right now. She turned to look at the woman, but she was gone. "Crazy that one," Cara said, mostly to herself, still stroking the stallion's neck. Aidan snorted in response as if to agree with her.

Cara exited the stables after another hour. She had brushed down Aidan and made sure his coat shown before she left. Cara still had a few more days before she could go back to work in the tavern and it irked her to no end. Cara was ready to go back to work now. She decided to go and see what Lancelot was up yet and if he wasn't well, she wouldn't wake him.

She walked down the corridors silently and she was shocked at what she found. There was Guinevere and Lancelot. She swayed around the knight trying to get his attention. Lancelot's lustful eyes followed her. Cara's blood began to boil. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his wrapped around her waist.

Cara hurried in the opposite direction. Her footsteps were silent as she moved quickly toward the Hall. He was hunched over a map when she entered. "Cara," Arthur greeted with a small smile on his face, but that smile fell when he saw Cara's mixed gaze. It held anger and sadness at the same time, but as soon as he picked out the emotions her face was stoic once more.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his brows knitted in confusion and concern.

Guinevere choose this time to make her entrance and Arthur turned his face to his wife, no longer caring about Cara. He was blind. Guinevere looked to Cara. "Good morning, Cara," she greeted, somewhat sweetly. Arthur was still waiting patiently for Cara to tell him what her problem was. The two women shared a moment before Cara turned back to Arthur.

"It's nothing," she said shrugging it off. Cara stormed out of the fortress hall and into the open streets, before Arthur had a chance to call her back. She ran through the cobblestone streets. She ran past the many vendors that lined the alleys. Suddenly a pair of arms grabbed her.

"Whoa now," the familiar voice said, "Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Cara looked up into the deep green eyes of Gawain.

"Nowhere," she replied. Cara couldn't hide the venom that spiked her voice. She pushed past the knight and continued on her way to her room. She packed a change of clothes if she decided to stay overnight and she slung her bow and quiver over her back. Once her sword was strapped to her side she left.

Cara entered the stables for a second time that day and Aidan let out whinny in greeting. "Hey, fellá," she greeted. Once again she grabbed the tack off the rack in hopes of going out and clearing her mind. She led the black stallion out of his stall. She tightened the cinch and was about to mount up when a voice interrupted her.

"I'm sorry if I upset you in some way," a woman said from behind her. Cara whirled around. She draped Aidan's reins over the saddle before approaching.

"Upset me?" she asked, cautiously stepping around the woman. Guinevere's gaze followed Cara. "No, you need to stay away from Lancelot. You have a husband. You're a married woman now." Cara's voice was laced with disdain.

"Why should I?" she asked. "It's not like he's yours." Cara growled deep in her throat. The Woad was getting on her nerves and Cara was struggling to remain calm.

"He said he'd wait for me," se spat.

"No man waits forever, Cara," the Woad argued.

"Don't talk to me," she snapped. Cara hated it when the Woad addressed her. She didn't like how her name rolled off her tongue.

"Cara―" the Woad started, but she didn't finish. All the months and memories had finally won out on Cara and she could contain her anger no longer. The Woad would die and she would die by Cara's hand. The blonde had the dark haired woman on the ground less than a second after she called her name. The woman screamed as Cara drew one of the many daggers she kept on her at all times.

Cara didn't say anything as she went to slit her throat. Guinevere was strong. Stronger than Cara had expected and she struggled to get the knife close to her neck. Guinevere kicked at Cara and thrashed underneath her, but through it all Cara didn't budge. She was so close to killing the one person she blamed for everything.

One of the Woad's kicks landed on her wounded side. Cara grunted, but that was all she wasn't about to give up now. Sure it hurt, but Cara was so close. The dagger was centimeters from hitting flesh when Cara heard the shouts. A second later she was forcefully pulled off the Woad. A hand caught her wrist that held the dagger and spun it painfully behind her. Another wrapped itself around her waist pulling her against the man that held her.

One thought ran through her mind. When did he get out of bed? She knew who held her captive. She knew the death like grip. It was Tristan. "Drop it," his gruff voice ordered. Cara didn't move her eyes told the other knights that stood around that she was dead set on killing the Woad even though tears streamed down her cheeks. Cara struggled against him, but it did no good. He squeezed her wrist tighter and tighter and forced her arm higher and higher until Cara finally let the dagger drop to the stable floor. For a wounded man Tristan was incredibly strong.

Even when she dropped the dagger Tristan's hold didn't loosen. He knew what she was capable of when she was angry and he wasn't about to let her go. The Woad was safe in Arthur's arms and Arthur was glaring daggers at Cara, who glared back with even more fierceness, though the tears only softened the effect.

Arthur didn't know what to do with her. He couldn't sentence her to death. Not after all the times she had saved his ass in battle. But he also realized she couldn't go unpunished. Arthur needed more time to work out a punishment. "Lock her in her room," he said. Cara caught the hatred and venom in his voice.

Arthur and Guinevere were first to leave followed by Dag and Bors. Gawain and Galahad only gave her pitiful looks. Tristan pushed her toward the stable door, but Lancelot stopped him. Cara caught the look he gave him. Cara felt the restricting arms around her loosen and Tristan was gone before she even turned around. That only left Lancelot. He stared at her with uncertain eyes and Cara could feel his piercing gaze even after she looked away.

Lancelot wondered what had happened to Cara. All of the sudden she just wasn't herself. He knew she was hurting about the wedding still, but he never thought Cara could kill Guinevere. It just wasn't like her. Only one question remained in Lancelot's mind. How was he supposed to save her?


	8. Never Gonna Be Alone

_**8 – Never Gonna Be Alone – Nickelback **_

"Why did you do that?" Lancelot asked, his voice low and harsh as he gripped her wrists.

"Because she deserves to die," Cara snapped. "She should have died weeks ago." Cara's eyes held just as much malevolence as her voice and it scared Lancelot to a certain extent.

"You need to learn to control yourself, Cara. You're lucky Arthur hasn't ordered you dead, Cara. What you just did was dangerous." Lancelot spoke every word from his heart. He didn't want to lose Cara and he felt that if she pulled another stunt like that Arthur wouldn't hesitate in killing her. He loved Guinevere and Lancelot knew that her life came first now.

Cara was close to losing it and Lancelot could see the pain beginning to surface. "You think that it's so easy. One pretty face and you fall head over heels for the species. You had a chance with her, Lancelot. Why didn't you take it? She would've made a good wife, just look how happy Arthur is now."

Lancelot grabbed her biceps before she could leave. "You think she would've been perfect for me? You think I loved her? Cara, I can't get lost at sea in her eyes and she doesn't have hair the color of the wheat fields that remind me of home. She's not you, Cara." The young woman didn't meet his gaze.

She yanked her arms out of Lancelot's steely grasp. "Don't touch me," she spat moving to leave. Her dress whirled around her, but Lancelot caught her again.

"Why not, Cara? You're my fiancée and I can't even hold you anymore. I can't touch you. I can't kiss you. Hell, I can't even talk to you anymore. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, leave me alone," she snapped angrily. This wasn't even the start of how she felt, but it was better to get some of it out now.

"Cara, you will never be alone. Why do you say such things?" She pulled away from him once more, but once again he pulled her against him.

"Leave me alone, Lancelot!" she screamed.

"No, Cara. Two weeks ago you were ready to marry me and now you're leaving me? Cara, what is going on with you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she answered angrily struggling in his grasp.

"Cara, I need to know. You can't just leave!"

"I can do as I very well please, Lancelot du Lac. Now let me go!"

"No! I want an explanation, Cara, and I won't let you go until I get one."

"Well then you're going to be waiting an awfully long time."

"Cara, I'm serious about this," he said angrily. His brown eyes bored into hers. Cara let out a single laugh.

"Lancelot, that face really doesn't suit you. Besides you have nothing to lose," she said, trying to pull away from what seemed like the millionth time. She wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but Lancelot's hold was firm and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"I have everything to lose!" he bellowed. "Why do you degrade yourself so? Does your life mean nothing? You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you the way you lost…" Lancelot cut his sentence off there. He didn't want to see the pain on Cara's face again. He wasn't heartless even if he was angry. He couldn't do that to Cara.

"Go ahead, Lancelot. Say his name," Cara dared, crystal tears streaming down her cheeks. Lancelot didn't move. He wouldn't. "Say it!"

"No," Lancelot said, "Not when it brings you so much pain." He realized it now. Cara wasn't over Gareth and that was her downfall. How was he supposed to love her? Cara tried once again to break Lancelot's grip as he dragged her toward the stable door. She regretted what she was about to do, but she would not be locked up and she would not stay here. Cara kicked Lancelot below the belt and she ran to Aidan who still remained in the aisle. Aidan shied slightly when Cara ran up to him. Aidan didn't have to be told to go. As soon as Cara was seated he took off at a full fledge gallop.

Lancelot tried to stop her, but he was still momentarily disabled. Cara felt bad for what she had done, but if it meant she would never have to worry about the Woad anymore she would kick every single knight below the belt without a second thought.

Sure she would miss the knights and maybe Arthur, but she was positive Arthur wouldn't miss her. She knew Tristan would miss her even if he didn't show it. Cara knew Tristan and he knew her. They were like brother and sister. Gawain and Galahad would soon forget about her and she was sure Bors and Dagonet would as well. After all Cara wasn't that memorable of a person. Lancelot would be hard to forget and Cara knew it, but she was prepared to do whatever it took to wipe away her past and start a new life.

Aidan's hooves clanged on the cobblestones as she passed through the streets. She had to get out and she had to get out now. Aidan was fast and everything passed her in a blur. She sped out of the fort. The fields and trees passed her in one swift moment. After a few minutes of a strong gallop she slowed the black animal into a steady walk. She didn't want him tiring this early in the journey.

Cara had a long road ahead of her and this time she was counting on Aidan to get her there safely. She didn't have the knights and she didn't have Arthur. It was only her. She hoped beyond hope that no one would follow her. That was the last thing she needed. Cara didn't want to be followed. She would go find closing and then maybe she would go back to Sarmatia. After all there was nothing for her back at the fort.


	9. She's Everything

_**9 – She's Everything – Brad Paisley **_

Lancelot watched her ride out of the stable. He wanted to stop her, but he couldn't move. He surprised that Cara had it in her to commit such a cowardly act to get away. Usually Cara was all about fighting fair, but that defiantly wasn't fair.

When he was finally able to pick himself up Lancelot set off at a run. Well it was more of a hobble due to the pain that still lingered each time he took a step. He burst into the tavern, searching for any of the knights. The first one he spotted was Tristan. The silent scout stood alone in the darkest part of the tavern simply watching everything that went on around him.

He watched Lancelot with curiosity as the curly haired knight approached him and the other knights. He recognized the way he walked and Tristan's face darkened slightly. Cara had gotten away. He could sense it. The other knights sat around the nearby table drinking and having a good time as always. Bors was about to say either a witty comment or invite him to a drink, but Bors didn't get a word out. "Cara's gone," were the first words out of Lancelot's mouth when he reached them.

Each knight shot up from where they sat or stepped forward to make sure they heard right. Gawain pretty much dumped the wench that sat on his lap. The woman looked up from the floor in disgust, but none of the knights noticed. Each one had a different expression. Bors looked angry and so did Dagonet. Gawain and Galahad just stood there, shock written all over their faces. Tristan didn't say anything. He merely left without a word. Lancelot knew that the scout wanted to get on Cara's trail as fast as possible. "Have you told, Arthur?" Galahad asked urgently, as he looked away from the silent scout that just left without saying where he was headed.

The rest of the knights were silent. They didn't know if they wanted to tell Arthur. They didn't know how he would act. Would he fume because she had outsmarted him? Would he forbid the remaining knights from going after her? Or would he join them in the search? The knights simply didn't know. Cara was walking a thin line with Arthur at the moment and his actions were unpredictable.

Galahad dropped his head and let out an angry sigh. He finally realized why all the knights had grown silent. Arthur may not want to bring Cara back. She might not be considered his friend anymore, but an enemy. She was a danger.

The knights looked to Lancelot and he realized he had been silently nominated to tell his commander and best friend that the woman who had tried to kill his wife was gone. Lancelot lowered his head in a small bout of anger. "Get the horses ready," he said, raising his head to look at them. "I'll meet you outside the stables." With that Lancelot set off to Arthur's quarters still slightly hobbling, but not nearly as bad as before.

The walk there was torture and when he reached the door his heart was thudding against his chest. He loved Cara and Lancelot didn't want to have to choose between his commander's orders and the love of his life. He knocked only once before entering. Guinevere was nowhere in sight and for that he was grateful. It was better if she wasn't there to hear this.

Arthur was leaned over a map that lay sprawled on a nearby desk. Arthur looked up from the map to see Lancelot standing by the door. "Lancelot?" His voice held question and acknowledgement at the same time. Lancelot breathed a deep sigh as he walked slowly toward his commander.

"Cara's gone," he said simply. Lancelot looked at his commander searching his face for any kind of emotion, but his face remained stoic.

"What do you mean?" he asked, straightening up.

"She overpowered me and ran off."

"You let a woman overpower you?" Arthur asked questionably. "Are you sure you didn't let her go?" Lancelot's eyes darkened.

"No, she kicked me in the groin and rode off!" Lancelot exclaimed hotly. He didn't like what he was being accused of. There was an awkward silence between the two friends. It took a moment for Arthur to realize what Lancelot had come to ask him.

"You want to go after her," he said as the realization dawned on him. Lancelot nodded. "Why?"

"She's alone out there, Arthur," Lancelot stated loudly. He was starting to get frustrated with Arthur which happened often when the two disagreed, but Arthur wasn't about to back down and give in so easily and neither was Lancelot. That's what frustrated him. The more time they wasted here arguing was the less amount of time they had to find Cara. She could be halfway back to Sarmatia by the time the two came to a compromise.

"Cara knows how to take care of herself," Arthur stated smoothly. Arthur had him there. Cara was very capable of taking care of herself. She had done it in the past, but Lancelot was always worried when she would go off alone. He often wondered if she would come back from the scouting missions she was sent on and sometimes when she was late he wondered if she was lying out in the forest somewhere. It was absolute torture and now she was really gone and Lancelot had no idea where she was.

"That's not what I meant," Lancelot said quickly, his voice slightly raised. "Cara doesn't have anyone, Arthur. She hasn't had anyone since Gareth's death." Realization finally dawned on Arthur. Cara had never been right after that and Arthur wondered if she had gotten over the shock. "I'm losing her, Arthur," Lancelot confessed somberly. "I need to bring her back."

Arthur breathed in a deep sigh. He lowered his head then raised it as he decided what to do. He knew he couldn't abandon Cara. He would help bring her back, but then she would face her punishment for trying to kill his wife, though he had no idea how to punish her. Arthur finally met Lancelot's gaze. "Let's bring her home."


	10. On Your Own

_**10 – On Your Own – Green River Ordinance **_

Cara rode through the trees. She really wasn't that far from the fort, but she didn't want to tire Aidan. The horse would have to carry her for awhile. Aidan snorted at the slow, boring pace. She kicked him into a lope to try and escape a little faster and to give Aidan the satisfaction he wanted.

A familiar scream forced Cara's head skyward. There was Tristan's hawk, circling above her head as if she was its prey. He was following her. Cara pushed Aidan in to a full blown gallop. The horse was all too eager and he took off before Cara could give her decision a second thought.

Aidan tore through the forest. The dry leaves crunched beneath his hooves as he went. Cara needed to escape that bird. If she didn't Tristan would find her. Cara bent low over the stallion's neck to avoid getting hit by tree branches as she veered Aidan off the path. Cara kept going straight, but this way there would be no tracks to follow.

She pushed Aidan faster and he did as his mistress bid him. She guided him through the briar patches and over fallen trees. When Aidan's breathing became labored she slowed him. The stallion's sides heaved from the long run and Cara felt sorry for him. She didn't want him to become winded so quickly, but Tristan was a danger, a threat, and Cara wouldn't wait for him to catch up to her.

Aidan trudged onward and this time there was no complaining from the horse. He was glad to be moving at a slow pace now. The long run had tired him. Cara swayed with his gate out of boredom, but she kept her eyes open for any serious threat.

It would take her at least four days to get to where she was going. And that was only if she planned to ride day and night. After riding a couple more miles Cara steered Aidan back on the trail. She hoped her trick would delude Tristan for at least a little while. It would give her time to get ahead.

She heard the mud squish between Aidan's hooves as he walked on. She turned her head skyward at the clouds. It was going to rain. She could smell it in the air and she could feel the warm rush that came right before. Cara hated the rain. It meant two things. One, she was going to get wet and two; it was going to be cold afterward.

Sure enough not an hour later it was pouring. The sky was dark and the forest was darker yet thanks to the canopy of leaves. Cara moved slower in the rain. The ground was already wet from a previous shower and the current rain only made the ground muddier and in some places puddles were beginning to form.

She hated riding in the rain. The ground was slick and she always worried that Aidan would slip. She tried to keep off the mud as much as she could, but it was impossible. Where there wasn't mud there were puddles. Cara was soaked thoroughly in a matter of minutes and the rain continued to fall.

Cara dreaded the next few days. She wouldn't be able to start a fire due to Tristan's uncanny ability to find people. Which meant her clothes wouldn't be able to dry, which meant she would be soaking wet at least by the end of tomorrow unless the sun magically came out. She highly doubted the sun idea. In fact if anything happened chances are it would only rain again.

She pulled her wet cloak tighter around her to keep warm, but it did no good. She hated this bloody island. Aidan snorted and tossed his head slightly. He didn't seem to like it much either. Cara smiled slightly at the stallion. "Say, we don't need them to have a good time in the rain," Cara said patting the stallion.

All the sudden she heard a twig snap and Aidan jumped slightly. Cara's head whirled around to find the source, but there was no one there. She turned her head towards the tree canopy, but she saw nothing. "Must've been an animal of some sort," Cara said aloud. For some reason she believed herself more when she spoke aloud.

The Sarmation remained cautious as she rode on. It would be dark soon and then there was nothing stopping Cara's mind from running away with her. She hated the dark. The night she loved, but when she couldn't see the moon or stars it frightened her. When she was with the knights she didn't think about what could be lurking in the shadows, but now she was alone. She was on her own and Cara needed to get used to the feeling. She was going to be alone from now on and she needed to get used to looking out for only herself.

Eventually the sky grew dark and Cara was left to find her way in the dark. She was cold and wet and the rain didn't seem to be letting up soon. Aidan shied away when they came to a flooded part of the path. Cara knew there was a creek nearby and with all the rain it was no surprise that it had flooded. She jumped off the horse in hopes of getting him through the puddle.

She soon realized that it was rather deep when she took the first steps. Water came to her calf as she led the black horse through to the other side. Aidan wanted to jump it, but Cara held him back. It was pure mud on the other side and Cara didn't want to risk him falling.

Once on the other side, she mounted up once more and continued on her way. She would ride through the night and then stop for a short rest the next morning. Aidan didn't like this idea. He had stopped a couple times and would refuse to go when Cara urged him onward. Each time he stopped Cara would get off and lead him. She didn't want to stop moving. She couldn't. If she stopped that would only put her further away from her destination and closer to Tristan. Cara had no idea all the knights were searching for her.

She didn't believe they cared enough to come after her. After seeing their disappointed faces in the stable she felt like she didn't belong with them anymore. At that moment Cara realized what she was doing. She was doing the one thing she vowed she would never do again. She was running.


	11. I'd Come For You

_**11 – I'd Come For You - Nickelback **_

The knights had been riding for three days and still there was no sign of Cara. They rested for only a few hours in the evening before they would set out again. Lancelot was beside himself with worry and Arthur was just his usual stoic self.

They were at least two or three days behind her, simply because she had fooled them. It had taken Tristan two hours to find her tracks after they disappeared from the trail. Now they had to play catch up. None of them knew if she camped at night. So far they hadn't seen anything that proved she did.

"Any sign of her?" Arthur asked when Tristan came back from scouting. The silent scout simply shook his head. None of the knights were surprised. It was the same question and the same answer. Cara was just too quick.

Lancelot partially blamed himself. If he had been a little bit faster he could've caught her. If he hadn't been so weak he wouldn't be out here searching for her right now. A large part of his heart wanted to find her and bring her home, but then there was a small part that didn't.

Their last moments together before she ran off were hateful. She acted as though she no longer cared about him. Lancelot didn't want to believe that, but it was hard not to think about. What if she really did hate him? What if she really didn't care anymore? Lancelot wondered if he was wasting his time trying to find her.

He soon pushed the thought to the back of his mind. No. He would not think such things. Cara may have given up on Lancelot, but Lancelot definitely wasn't going to give up on her. The dark haired knight fidgeted in his saddle. He wanted to kick his horse into high gear, but he knew it would only end badly.

"We'll find her, Lancelot," Arthur said, pulling the curly haired knight from his thoughts. Lancelot looked to his commander and his best friend. There was sympathy in his eyes, but there was something else. Guilt. What did Arthur have to be guilty about?

"I know," was he could say. He couldn't say anything else. Not finding her wasn't an option. He would bring her back and that was all there was to it. Arthur didn't know what else to say to Lancelot. He seemed angry and lost.

"Arthur!" Tristan called from ahead. Arthur looked to Lancelot and Lancelot looked at him. Every knight pushed their horse into a lope to catch up with Tristan. They didn't know if it was good news or bad. They arrived to see Tristan staring at the ground.

Lancelot looked at the silent scout. He saw the tracks, but they all looked the same to him. In fact they looked exactly the same as the ones Tristan had pointed out yesterday. "These tracks are fresh," he stated in his same nonchalant voice.

Arthur's head snapped up. "How fresh?" All the knights were waiting for an answer and Tristan seemed uncomfortable that all eyes were on him.

"Last night," he answered softly. They were close. So close. Lancelot wanted to go and he wanted to go now, but he looked at the darkening sky. It would be dark soon, which meant they would have to stop for at least a couple hours. The horses needed rest and so did they.

They rode for another hour before Tristan found a suitable place to set up a temporary campsite. Lancelot's eyes keep looking toward the road. He wanted to find her. He didn't like the feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. They were so close to finding her, but their horses were just too exhausted.

If they kept going without rest their horses would fall over from fatigue. Then they would be walking and that would be slower yet. It was simply torture for Lancelot. Even after they had eaten and most of the knights had taken to their bedrolls Lancelot remained awake.

He wondered where she was right now. What was going through her head? He looked up at the gleaming stars from the canopy. It was the first time in many months that he had actually seen the stars. A small part of him wondered if Cara was looking up at the same sky.

The night was quite and it disturbed Lancelot. There were no crickets chirping or hoot owls hooting. There was nothing. Tristan had gone out for his evening rounds and he still had not returned. The scout's scouting seemed to be taking longer on this mission.

He stayed out longer, but no matter how long he stayed out he still came up empty handed. Cara was just like him, thinking wise. When she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be. It was as simple as that. Lancelot knew Tristan could find anyone, but it was hard searching for someone who is exactly like you.

He suddenly heard the familiar sound of hoof beats. He knew who it was, but he looked anyway. Each time he heard hoof beats he would turn his head, hoping that it would be Cara. Each time his heart sank seeing as it was only Tristan. Like every other night there was no news.

Tristan sat down by the fire across from Lancelot. "You should get some rest," the scout advised. Lancelot looked up, surprised that Tristan had spoken. The scout wasn't one to throw words out often. Lancelot didn't say anything in return and he didn't make a move to go to his bedroll. He simply dropped his head and Tristan went silent once again.

Tristan eventually turned in for what few hours remained. The curly haired knight knew that he should turn in as well and followed Tristan's example. He laid down on his bedroll hoping to get a few much needed hours of sleep, but his mind didn't want to rest.

It wouldn't let him rest. It kept going to Cara. Each time he closed his eyes he saw her face. Each time he closed his eyes he heard her angry voice yelling at him to leave her alone. His mind kept replaying the conversation they had in the stable.

He knew there was something he could've done. Something he could've said. Every time he replayed the scene it always ended the same way, with Cara leaving. Lancelot wondered if that would be the last time he spoke to her. The last time he saw her sweet face or heard her melodious voice. He soon shook the thought off. What ifs didn't matter. She was gone. All that mattered now was getting her back and getting her home.


	12. Starts With Goodbye

_**12 – Starts With Goodbye – Carrie Underwood **_

Cara slumped in the saddle. She was tired and cold, though exhausted and freezing seemed like better words. Aidan wasn't faring much better. Cara had not stopped. She couldn't stop. The usually spirited black horse was dragging, but he carried on for Cara. She had dozed off several times, but Aidan had continued forward. He seemed to know where he was going and for that Cara was grateful.

Cara's clothes were still soaked from the non-stop rain and it was beginning to affect her. Her muscles were stiff and her hands were turning an unhealthy shade of blue. Cara didn't want to put on her spare change of clothes that she had in her saddle bag. They would only get wet and then Cara would be screwed either way.

Several times she would hear Tristan's hawk and several times when she looked up it would be there circling. The hawk never strayed far from its master so she knew at least he was following her. This disturbed Cara. She didn't want to be followed. She didn't want to be found. Did Arthur want her back that badly? He must. She didn't think Tristan would waste his time trying to find someone who didn't want to be found unless he was ordered to. She must've have really pissed Arthur off.

They were close, so close. Cara could feel it. Aidan plodded on for another hour before Cara stopped him abruptly. She barely recognized the place. It was far more over grown, but Cara knew that this was it. When she closed her eyes she could see this same spot and the way it had looked over a year ago. She could remember that night and seeing the clearing again made her heart throb.

She dismounted the black stallion and the horse seemed relieved that he could finally rest. She forced her stiff hands to tie Aidan's reins to s thick, sturdy tree branch. She didn't want him running off. Cara maneuvered through the briars and brush as she searched for Gareth's grave.

She searched and searched, but she couldn't find it. True, she had no idea where the knights had buried him, but Cara thought she would be able to at least find some trace of a grave. She looked everywhere that was close by. She searched for maybe an hour and still her search came up empty. Maybe this was the wrong glade. When she was about to turn back something shiny caught her eye.

Cara walked slowly and warily toward the shining object that shown through the trees. She drew her sword silently. If it was the enemy he would be dead before he even noticed her. She pushed the branches and briars away, but she soon realized there was nothing to fear.

The object she saw was a sword all right, but it wasn't just any sword. It was Gareth's and it stuck out of his burial mound. She sheathed her sword before walking forward. Cara was slightly frightened. For a while she didn't think he was dead and now. Now she was looking at his grave and the truth seemed all too real at the moment.

She kneeled beside his grave. Moss and a few springs of grass covered the mound like a green carpet. Cara didn't make a sound as she sat there. What could she say? One thing did surprise her and that was the fact that his grave had not been disturbed. At least the Woads had some respect for the dead.

The blonde woman had thought long and hard about what she was about to do. She had tried to come up with ways she could let go and start a new life. For the longest time she was at a loss for what to do, but now that she was here it seemed as though her heart was guiding her and telling her that it was alright.

Cara reached around her neck slowly. She was careful as she undid the clasp that held the significant necklace together. She removed it slowly and careful, making sure it didn't get caught in her hair as she did so. She clasped the necklace back together and held it in front of her.

The gems seemed to sparkle in the limited light. They sparkled like Gareth's sword and Cara looked to his grave. She let out a soft laugh though it was not out of humor. "I guess it's time to really let go," she said softly her voice barely above a whisper. She was talking mostly to herself, but she looked at Gareth's grave as she spoke. "I'm sorry," she apologized, still staring at the grave. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

Cara dropped her head as the silent tears flowed. Cara did not sob, but the tears fell none the less. She watched as they dropped onto the moss making the ground damp where they fell. Cara forced herself to stop the useless crying and bit back the tears that threatened to fall. She took a deep breath and clutched the necklace close to her heart one last time.

Carefully, she draped the necklace over the sword. Her hand lingered there longer than it should have and eventually it traveled to the hilt of the magnificent blade. Her fingers danced over the decorated handle. She pulled her hand away slowly and lay in gently back into her lap and closed her eyes.

There was nothing, only darkness. There were no voices. There were no faces. There were no haunting images of the Woads that had attacked and killed the man she used to love. There was nothing. Well there was one thing. Peace. For once the darkness did not haunt her. It was peaceful. Once again she turned her head skyward.

There was Tristan's hawk still screaming and circling. Cara breathed a deep sigh of relief. The weight on her shoulders seemed to lift as soon as that necklace was where it belonged. She had no regrets about leaving it there. It belonged with Gareth. That's when it hit Cara full force. It was Gareth she was holding onto. Cara was simply afraid of getting close and then losing them. Lancelot had proposed to her and Cara had said yes just like she had done with Gareth.

Perhaps she was a cursed woman, destined to be alone forever. Whatever the case she knew she was better off by herself. That way she only had to look after herself and Aidan of course. Cara realized she had better get moving and she scooted back away from the grave so that she could get up without touching the fragile moss. The sound of a blade being drawn suddenly made her go still.

Cara stayed where she was. She didn't move. She heard them come closer and closer until they were right behind her. "If you're going to kill me get on with it," she spat annoyed that they were dragging it out. Cara could've cared less that someone had a sword pointed to her back. What else was there? Death would be a godsend sent from the heavens. The only response she got was darkness.


	13. I Miss My Friend

_**13 – I Miss My Friend – Darryl Worley **_

Tristan rode through the trees as he followed Cara's trail. He watched as the hoof prints got deeper and were no longer neat. Cara's horse was tiring and Tristan knew they would be able to catch up with her, if not today then most definitely tomorrow.

He followed the tracks a few feet further before turning his horse back toward the knights. He had realized where Cara was heading two days ago and he was surprised that none of the knights said anything. Perhaps they didn't remember. Whatever the reason, Tristan worried for Cara, though he would never admit to it if asked.

She was alone out here and for once in his life Tristan had been fooled. She had expected to be followed and Tristan was surprised that she was that desperate not to be found. Did she really want to escape that badly? Tristan shook his head at the thought.

Cara had a hot temper at certain times, but she had never been foolish. Tristan had known her all his life. He had watched her grow from a young girl into a beautiful woman, though their relationship was never more than a sibling bond. His hawk's scream suddenly brought him out of his reverie and he turned his head skyward.

Tristan extended his arm and the bird came to rest. "Where you been eh?" he asked quietly. The bird ruffled its feathers, but that was the only response he got. He turned his head toward the path again and eventually the knights came into view. Arthur halted his horse at Tristan's approach. Tristan knew what Arthur was about to ask. He had heard the same question about a hundred times in the fast few days, but Tristan would wait for the question before he answered.

"Any sign of her?" Arthur asked. The silent scout wasn't the only one annoyed by the over used question. The other knights had grown tired of hearing the same question and the same silent answer. Though today, they were surprised that Tristan actually spoke instead of the simple shake of his head.

"The tracks grow deeper. Her horse is tiring." The answer was simple, but complex at the same time. There were few words, but those few words said a lot to the knights. It told them that Cara was slowing down and they had a greater chance of catching her.

"Ride ahead," Arthur commanded eagerly. Tristan only nodded with expressionless eyes. He had come back only to be sent away again. Tristan gave the hawk on his arm a head start into the air before turning his horse around and going back the way he had come.

He pushed his horse into a steady lope, but once he was out of sight he slowed to a walk. His horse snorted in response to the quick changes in pace, but Tristan paid the beast little heed. He followed the tracks further and further, deeper and deeper. Still there was no sign of Cara or her black stallion. The tracks were still fresh and the scout knew she couldn't be far.

He was beginning to seriously think that they would find her before the day was over. Tristan no longer worried about going back and reporting to Arthur. By going back he was only wasting time and time was something he didn't like to waste. The forest seemed to grow darker as he went further and the mystery grew.

His grey stallion shied slightly at the swaying branches, but continued forward. Tristan eyes seemed to adjust to the darkness and suddenly his eyes caught something that didn't belong. He pushed his stallion forward and a feeling of hope surged through him when he realized what he had seen.

Aidan stood patiently by himself. As Tristan drew closer he realized the horse was tied to a secure branch and his horse let out a whinny in greeting. Aidan pulled at the reins, trying to break free before letting out a return greeting. Tristan dismounted swiftly and tied his horse next to Cara's. He kept his left hand by his sword as he warily walked to where Gareth had been buried.

He moved silently. If Cara was there he didn't want to frighten her and he didn't want to have to chase her. That was the one thing Tristan hated most of all. He would rather come up from behind and take them down quickly rather than having to track and chase them all over the bloody countryside.

He was surprised to find the grave deserted, but Tristan's keen eyes caught the necklace that hung from the sword. He also noticed the second pair of footprints that miraculously turned into one. That one pair of footprints that led away from the grave were not Cara's. He took one last look for any more clues before heading back to the horses.

He grabbed both sets of reins and mounted up. Aidan didn't fight him like he usually did when someone tried to lead him. Instead he followed Tristan horse back to the knights. Thoughts were running through his mind at 100 miles per hour, but Tristan's face remained stoic. He was worried, but he knew that the other knights would only be that more anxious and that more foolish if he let it show. Tristan didn't have to go far. The knights had made great progress and Tristan knew that they had picked up their pace to catch up.

Lancelot stopped breathing the moment he saw Cara's horse was without a rider. The other knights let out sighs and held their breath as Tristan neared. Lancelot forced himself to breathe as the usually silent knight spoke.

"She's been taken," he said simply. His voice was emotionless as usual and Arthur lowered his head as he tried to figure out how to go about this. Lancelot however was quick to start shouting questions at the scout.

"By who?" he asked hotly. Tristan's eyes moved to the anxious knight. He saw the worry and fear in Lancelot's eyes.

"Saxon, Woad," Tristan replied. It was hard to say who took her. The footprints looked odd and the mud and rain did not help.

"Well which is it?" Lancelot barked. Tristan only sent him a glare that said _keep pushing me and you'll never know_. Arthur put a restraining hand on Lancelot's shoulder.

"Which way," his commander asked in a much calmer voice.

"West," was his simple and stoic reply. Lancelot was the first one to kick his horse into high gear. He had to find her. He had to. Failing was not an option he would bring her home safe and sound.


	14. Celtic Myst

_**14 – Celtic Myst – Era **_

Cara had to blink away the blurriness as she regained consciousness. Other than the giant headache she felt fine. Only one problem her ankles were tied and her wrists were tied tightly behind her back. She tried to pick out her surroundings without being noticed, but there was nothing she recognized.

Her clothes were still damp and the cold seemed to freeze the blood that flowed through her veins. She shivered slightly and she sat up slowly. Her joints ached and her head throbbed, but she managed to sit up straight and lean against the tree that stood behind her for support.

"Ah our guest has awakened," a husky voice said. Cara's head turned sharply and the world spun for a moment at the quick movement. He was a burly man, though fat seemed like a better word. His bald head shone in the limited light and his black beard only added to the disgusting features. His face was small, but rather round and it wasn't proportional to his body. His eyes were small, black, and beady.

He came closer and Cara pressed herself against the tree that stood tall behind her as she tried to escape his touch. His grimy, calloused hands trailed her jaw line in what was supposed to be a seductive manner, but it only made Cara sick. He grasped her chin firmly, forcing her to stare back into his evil eyes. His face was mere inches from hers as he breathed in her sent. His stench was almost unbearable and Cara had to hold her breath. Though her face was the usual blank slate her heart was beating out of her chest in fright.

"So fragile, so soft," he cooed softly, practically whispering in her ear. Cara pulled away from the man. He was far too close for comfort. "Aw don't be like that," he said softly, but his voice held a certain level of lust and Cara didn't like it. "Me and the boys just wanna have a little fun." Cara knew what the word 'fun' meant and she desperately began looking for an escape route.

Cara looked around her, but her eyes darted to the other eight or nine men that sat around the fire, simply watching her. The man in front of her trailed his fingers over her face once more. "Don't touch me," she spat, pulling away once again. The man looked at Cara then to the men and then back at Cara. He laughed an evil laugh. "What do you want with me?" she asked angrily, her voice full of spite. Her question made the other men laugh as well and the man in front of her looked deep into her eyes. His smell was horrid and Cara had to chock down the bile.

"You my dear are about to make us very very rich," he whispered. Emotions started welling up inside her, fear, sadness, unknowing, and then finally realization.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" she asked her voice still laced with venom. The man chuckled.

"Curious little thing aren't you?" He laughed again. "You are one of Arthur's knight's are you not?" he asked hoping the girl that sat before him would get the meaning behind his words. Cara got it. He was going to use her for ransom. That or he was going to sell her. Either way Cara wasn't going to let that happen. Cara had to laugh internally. They were in for a big surprise if they planned to go to Arthur. She decided to mess with them a little. She was going to die one way or the other. She had seen it in their eyes.

"Yes?" she said letting the question seep into her voice. She was good at faking. This was the first time in a long time she played dumb. The man seemed a little angry that Cara didn't get it and she inwardly smiled.

"Well I'm sure he would be willing to pay a hefty sum for your safe return," he said with a dark chuckle hoping she would get it this time. However, this time Cara couldn't contain her laughter. Right now she couldn't imagine Arthur paying a single cent for her. The man's smile was replaced with a frown and he grabbed her shoulders roughly. Cara smiled as he shook her.

"Why do you laugh, girl?" he demanded angrily, but Cara didn't make a move to respond and she continued to smile and laugh softly to herself. She man shook her roughly once more. "Answer me!" he shouted.

"Arthur's not going to pay a cent for me," she answered with a smug smile on her face. Filled with rage and fear of the unknowing the man slapped her hard across her fare face. Cara's head whirled to the side at the impact and she was stunned for a moment.

"Why not?" he asked, no longer using the seductive tone he used before. He was angry and the other men simply watched. Cara put the smile back on her face.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said slyly. A small laugh escaped her lips and the only response she got was another slap.

"Tell me you stupid bitch," the man snarled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her roughly. "Why won't he pay for you? Tell me!" Cara only laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. The man was furious. He picked her up by the collar only to throw her to the ground. He dealt her a swift kick to the ribs and Cara felt the air leave her lungs.

He bent down next to her. Cara recognized the look on his face. He had that fake apologetic smile. "I don't want to hurt a pretty thing like you," he cooed, placing his calloused hand on her cheek. "Just tell me what I want to know."

He waited a few moments, but Cara had lapsed into silence. The anger was back and he continued to shake and beat on her. Finally a small sob escaped the beaten woman when his heavy boot made contact with her previously wounded side.

She couldn't help, but think of Lancelot as she laid there. His sweet voice telling her that he was coming for her. Cara had curled in on herself, trying to protect herself as much as possible, but it was hard to do with her wrists tied behind her. His blows seemed to hit the exact same spot each time.

Cara was on the verge of screaming. She wanted to yell for him, but that would foil her plan. Instead she mouthed it. Over and over she said his name, but it didn't do any good. The cowardly man continued to yell and beat her. He was angered that he didn't have the upper hand.

The beatings stopped suddenly and Cara cracked one of her closed eyes open. He was walking back toward the fire. Cara struggled to sit her beaten body up. She bit back a cry when a pain shot up her side. Cara had a feeling it wasn't just the agitated wound. She sat there quietly, with her head hung low. Cara had to figure out a way out of this mess. She was losing time and if she didn't hurry up she was going to lose her life.


	15. I Thought I Lost You

_**15 –I Thought I Lost You – Miley Cyrus & John Travolta**_

The knights had not stopped since Tristan had reported the news. Their horses were tired and Galahad's had almost slipped on the wet ground, but they pushed on. Tristan always remained a few yards in front, but Lancelot was never far behind.

He was determined. Cara had always been the rational one. She was the one who got everyone else out of trouble. Now it was his turn to save her ass. He was bringing her home and that was that. He watched the silent scout. Though he hardly spoke and never really showed what he was thinking, Lancelot could tell when Tristan was agitated, or simply content by the way he moved.

Right now it seemed he seemed highly pissed and on the edge. By themselves, those emotions were bearable. When put together, Tristan was a force to be reckoned with and none of the knights dared to test him or get in his way. The knights knew to keep a few paces behind him. He wasn't one to be crowded. When he was up ahead he could focus on Cara's trail, rather than trying to tell hers' apart from the knights'.

"Don't worry," Gawain said riding up next to Lancelot. "Cara knows how to take care of herself." It seemed as if that's all the knights ever said anymore. It was as though they had to say it in order to believe it.

"He's right," Bors put in. "I remember one time I almost dropped the baby. I thought she was gonna kill me."

"You mean Vanora didn't get to you first?" Galahad asked. The young knight was surprised that Cara had caught him before the mother of his child…or Lancelot's child. Whosever it was.

"I can handle her, all it takes is a little loving," Bors said in a loving sort of romantic tone, slightly nudging the young knight in the ribs. "But Cara…" he hesitated. He seemed at a loss for words and it rarely happened for Bors. He always had something to say. "She's…." Unbelievable, indescribable, amazing, intelligent, beautiful, those were only a few of the many words that sprang into his mind. "She's Cara," Bors finally said.

The group of knights fell silent. It was a fitting word. That one small word covered the many that floated in Lancelot's mind. It was silent for a while. No one knew what to say after that. They all had their stories. Some were magical, others were not so great, and some they just didn't want to remember. Cara had been through it all with them. She never strayed from their side even if she thought the cause was useless.

She had that wild side about her, the same wildness that Tristan had. Lancelot's mind soon left the road they were on and it traveled back to a different road. That winding road took him back to that fateful day with the thin little girl. It took him back to the first day he met Cara.

_**FLASHBACK**_

She was young and even that was an understatement. Lancelot watched as the Romans tore the frail little girl away from all she ever knew. It wasn't right. It simply wasn't right. Lancelot didn't like the fact that he had to serve for a country not his own, but it angered him to no end when they began taking women.

All through the day he kept a secret eye on the sad girl. Her blonde locks fell in her face, preventing anyone from seeing her red, bloodshot eyes. Lancelot noticed that she had stopped crying the moment she had left the village. Lancelot was surprised at how strong she was. He didn't know it at the time, but her strength would save his ass more times than he could count.

The boy that was taken with her never left her side, but never said a word either. He was silent and he was glaring daggers at the backs of the Romans that rode ahead of them. It seemed as though his presence helped the girl. She was quiet as well, but Lancelot couldn't believe that she was as silent as the older boy that rode beside her. She had that wild look about her.

That night he debated whether or not he should go and introduce himself. Some of the other boys had already talked with her and she only said the bare minimum. Lancelot's time had run out without him even realizing it. The Romans were soon barking orders and how it would be a short night.

Lancelot never stopped thinking about the new girl. There were too many things running through his mind. Would she be a burden or an asset? Lancelot didn't know and he tried hard not to judge, but she was thin and lanky. She had hardly any muscle and he couldn't picture her sweet angelic face on the battlefield. It didn't belong there. She didn't disserve to see the spoils of war.

The curly haired boy didn't know what woke him, only the fact that he saw someone heading away from camp on foot. When he took a closer look he realized who it was. Lancelot looked at the sleeping Romans before heading off after her.

He waited until they were a few paces away before speaking. He didn't want to wake the Roman's. "I wouldn't run if I were you," the thirteen year old advised. The blonde girl whipped around slightly startled.

"I'm not running," she stated. Her voice still had that childish tone about it. Lancelot cocked his head slightly to the side not fully understanding. The young girl bit her bottom lip and crossed her legs slightly. He got it.

"I'm sorry," he apologized instantly, covering his face in shame and embarrassment. The girl rushed into the bushes and Lancelot waited for her to return. His cheeks were still red when she reappeared a few minutes later. "You shouldn't be wandering out here alone," he reprimanded softly.

"I had to go," she said simply in that same sweet childish voice. Lancelot laughed softly. "What's your name?" she asked abruptly as they walked back to camp. Their voices got increasingly lower as they got closer.

"Lancelot," Lancelot stated somewhat proudly. The young girl nodded, but made no notion of sharing hers. "And yours?" he prompted. The blonde girl looked at him. Though she was only a child Lancelot thought she was cute. Not in a romantic kind of way. Her soft curly hair outlined her face and those blue eyes seemed to glow in the dark.

"Cara," she said simply and quietly. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "My name is Cara."

_**END FLASHBACK **_

His memory ended when Tristan came riding back. Lancelot was so deep in his thoughts that he had not realized the scout had left in the first place. Lancelot pushed his horse to the front of the line with Arthur and the other knights soon crowded together. All were eager for the news that the silent scout was bringing.

"I found her," he said breathlessly. His voice was rough and his face was impassive like it always was, not showing any sort of emotion that would tell them if she was alive or dead. Only Arthur was able to bring himself to ask.

"Dead?" he asked seriously. Tristan shot him a glare. Lancelot wasn't sure if Tristan had misread the meaning behind their commander's words. He couldn't have. Tristan could read people like a book, but the doubt still lingered in Lancelot's mind. Did he really think Arthur wanted Cara dead?

"Alive."


	16. One Last Breath

_**16 – One Last Breath – Creed **_

Cara had not moved since she was brought to this unknown place. She merely sat there freezing. Cold gusts of wind blew across the ground stirring up her blonde hair. Her bruised cheek throbbed and she wasn't sure, but she would almost bet she had a broken rib or two. She held her head high as the stocky man came back.

He bent down in front of her. A malicious grin spread across his face. "I'm gonna ask you one more time," he said slowly. Enunciating the last three words extra slow, as if that was going to make a difference. Cara didn't answer instead she put on a smug smile and let her eyes speak for her. They were daring, challenging him try and pry the truth out of her.

The only response she got was another slap in the face. It was like an every hour occurrence. He would ask. She would smile. And he would slap her. It was a never ending cycle. Cara wondered when he was gonna get the picture. When the man didn't leave Cara wondered what he had up his sleeve.

He let his disgusting fingers trail her jaw line once again. She didn't like him touching her. It was unnerving. He leaned closer and closer until he was mere inches from her face. Cara held back a cough as she breathed in his musty scent. "Then I'll just have to find another use for you," he whispered deviously. Those words stopped Cara dead in her tracks. For a moment her heart stopped. She knew what was coming and inside her heart began pounding and her mind was screaming.

It was quick, but not completely painless and when he was through he went back to the fire. Cara was able to shimmy back into her breeches, though it took longer than she would've liked and the men that sat by the fire enjoyed every minute of it. Those eyes scared her. She wasn't afraid of running into battle outnumbered 100 to 1. But those eyes tore into her very soul, scrutinizing her, tearing her to pieces.

Cara shook with fear. She felt so violated and dirty. She needed to get out and she needed to get out now. She had one more idea. This was her last and only hope of escaping. If this didn't work she didn't know what she would do. Cara positioned herself so she was sitting on her knees. She strained her shoulders as she tried to undo the knots that bound her ankles tightly together, but it was just too much of a stretch.

Time for plan B, if she could get the ropes off one wrist she would be able to free herself. The only thing standing in her way was that annoying bone below her thumb. No matter how hard she tried she simply couldn't get the rope over it. It only took four pounds of torque to break the bone. Cara bit her lip to keep from screaming as she positioned her left thumb and forefinger just below her right thumb.

It would only hurt for a second. At least that's what she kept telling herself. Without too much hesitation she snapped the bone and Cara let out a soft whimper. Thankfully the men's loud bursts of laughter carried over any sound she had made. Her right hand was free and slowly and painfully, she untied the knot that held her ankles together. It was tighter than it originally looked, but when she felt the ropes fall away, a huge weight lifted from her shoulders.

Now all she had to do was get out. Cara glanced around looking for a way to escape. Nine men sat around the fire and one man stood a few feet behind her. She closed her eyes for a moment as she decided what to do. Her predicament left her with two options, left or right. There was no way she would be able to make it back to Aidan.

She didn't even know if Aidan was still there. Cara would have to rely on her feet and her surrounding environment. She glanced to the left. The forest was dark and dense. She could easily lose them, but would she be able to find her way out. Cara didn't want to be over confident in herself.

She looked to her right. That part of the forest looked about the same. She was going to run in one direction or the other, but which way would lead her to safety and which would be her downfall. She looked closer at the ground around her. She saw they dragged her in from the left side. Cara moved into a crouch so that she could spring up quickly.

Before the men had time to blink she was up and running toward the forest edge. She only got a few feet before she was brought down. Cara screamed out of both surprise and frustration. A grimy hand was smashed against her mouth the instant she screamed. "Stupid wench," the voice cursed from behind her.

She had failed. Her only chance to escape had ended in failure. She was a failure. Then again Cara never did have luck on her side. She was cursed. Nothing ever went right for her. Why should something go right for her now? Cara struggled against the man as he pushed her against the tree.

Her wrists were still tied together making it hard for her struggles to be anywhere near effective. A different man had caught her. He was well built and Cara was sure he could break her in half like a small twig. He was tossed a rope and as soon as he had it he tied it to the rope the held her wrists. After he did that he wrapped the remainder of the rope around the tree.

She wasn't going anywhere now. Cara couldn't even move the ropes were so tight. It was over. Cara's head hung low in defeat. Usually she wasn't so quick to break, but the latest events had weakened her mind and her self esteem had dropped to an all time low.

A twig snapped and all eyes went to the forest. Cara's head snapped up as well. She thought she saw movement in the trees, but she wasn't sure. It could've been an animal for all she knew or it could be Tristan. That last thought sent a small ray of hope through her. Three of the men drew their bows and lined arrows up with the forest. If it was Tristan they would be no match for him.

"There's no one out there," Cara said simply, trying to draw the attention away from the woods. The famous fat man's eyes looked to her.

"How do you know?" he spat. "It could be Arthur."

"It's not," Cara argued and Cara truly believed she was telling the truth. After all, Arthur hated her. He would be glad she was in this situation. He wanted her dead anyway. The men waited for her to continue. "Arthur wants me dead."

About half the mouths fell open in shock. If they were looking for ransom they had kidnapped the wrong knight. "You're a liar," one of the men accused hotly. Cara laughed a dry laugh. She wished she was lying.

"I tried to kill his wife," she stated smugly. "Too bad I didn't succeed," Cara said all owing the disappointment to seep into her voice. She didn't have to fake that. The fat man walked over to her in the same cunning manner he always had. Cara's head snapped to the side at the force of the impact. It seemed as though he hit the same spot every time he slapped her.


	17. You Found Me

_**17 – You Found Me – The Fray **_

The moment the man's hand met Cara's cheek was the moment Tristan let loose his arrow. As always Tristan hit his mark and the man fell dead at Cara's feet. The others were not stupid. They stayed away from Tristan, but they couldn't escape the other knights who came at them from behind, all except one. Cara watched a skinny little roman take off through the trees. No one followed him. In fact no one seemed to notice.

Lancelot immediately went to Cara. "Are you alright?" he asked, as he cut the ropes that bound her limbs. The blonde woman whimpered when Lancelot bumped her broken hand. He stopped briefly to look at her. "I'm sorry," he apologized. Lancelot was quick and before Cara could respond she was freed. The blonde woman sat there and she only said three words. She was shocked.

"You found me." Lancelot wrapped her in a hug, but she made no notion of returning it.

"I found you," he said in the same serious tone. Relief flooded his voice. She was beaten up pretty badly, but she was alive and right now that's all that mattered. Cara however was confused.

He wasn't supposed to come for her. No one was, especially not Arthur. They were supposed to let her go. It would only be that much harder now. Lancelot had proved that he loved her and Cara just couldn't get involved. She didn't want to go through losing someone again. It was too painful. She was better off on her own.

The other knights kept their distance. They had finished the killing a little while ago, but Lancelot and Cara needed a moment. Bors kicked one of the dead bodies, rolling him over so that his dead eyes looked at the sky. "Bloody Romans," he spat with disgust. Arthur had chosen not to say anything. One again he felt ashamed to call himself even half a Roman.

Lancelot helped Cara up as the other knights walked up beside them. She rubbed her raw wrists to try and relieve the pain. "You all right?" Galahad asked, repeating the question Lancelot had already asked. Cara nodded and gave them a slight smile. Bors appeared, behind Galahad.

"They got you pretty good, little one," he observed, using the nickname he had given her when they were younger. Cara wasn't little anymore, but being a woman she was smaller than the other knights, especially to Bors and Dagonet. Unfortunately, the nickname stuck.

Cara knew she probably looked like shit. Hell, she felt like shit, but that didn't stop the stubborn woman from getting up. Lancelot kept one arm around her waist as they walked back to the horses. Cara didn't need steadying. She was perfectly capable of walking on her own. Lancelot just could bear to let her go. He felt that if he let her go for just a second he would lose her. That was a risk Lancelot just wasn't willing to take. He loved Cara and maybe one day she would be able to really, truly love him in return.

"How did you find me?" she whispered softly so none of the other knights could hear their conversation. Lancelot gave her one of his famous smirks.

"How do we find anything on this bloody island?" Cara had to smile slightly. It was a stupid question and she realized that after she had asked it. The answer would always be Tristan. Cara was happy to see that Aidan was with the other horses. She stroked his neck lovingly before mounting up. Her face contorted slightly when she jostled her ribs and her thumb hurt like hell.

The act didn't go unnoticed and Lancelot looked at her with worry and question in his eyes. "I'm fine," she reassured. Lancelot was hesitant to let her ride alone, but he soon went and mounted his own horse.

The ride home would be a long one and the knights did not want to push their horses. Now that they had Cara back everything would be alright. Well almost everything. Lancelot was still having love issues and Arthur was still either angry with himself or angry with Cara.

Tristan had already found a place to camp for the night. It was only a mile away which was far enough. The knights were weary, Cara was drained, and the horses looked about ready to fall over. Tristan already had a fire going when they arrived and for that the knights were grateful. Dag still had to tend to Cara and that itself would be a challenge. Cara didn't like to be fussed over and the knights knew from experience how hard headed she could be.

Tristan had assured Cara that he would take care of her horse and though Cara trusted the man she didn't like feeling incapable. She sent Tristan a small glare, but he waved it off. The young woman sat down in front of the fire. It was an awkward silence.

Dag didn't waste any time. He was by her side in matter of seconds with everything he needed to take care of her. However, Cara didn't want to be helped. So she had a couple bruises, big deal, and the pain in her ribs wasn't that bad. She could live with it. She swatted his hand away when he went to examine her badly bruised face. "I'm fine, Dag," she snapped, but he caught one of her raw wrists and she hissed at the pain it caused, not to mention it was her right one.

His gentle fingers examined her misshapen one. "Did they do this?" he asked not taking his eyes off her unnaturally limp and disfigured finger. Cara shook her head. Dagonet looked at her expression trying to figure out what could've possibly happened.

"I tried to escape," she explained. Dagonet caught the tone in her voice. She didn't want to discuss it and Dagonet did not press her for an answer. He touched it ever so gently and Cara attempted to pull her hand out of his grasp.

"Dag, I'm fine," she protested.

"That's not fine," he retorted, staring into her eyes. He let her know that he meant business, but Cara stared back at him with the same expression. He rummaged through his pack before pulling out a nasty looking salve and a roll of bandages. She didn't know exactly what it was made of, but she had used it enough to know that it burned like hell and there was no way Dag was putting it on her.

The gentle knight grabbed her wrist once more, but Cara yanked her arm out of his loose grasp. "I'm fine, Dag," she repeated with a little more fierceness. "Now piss off." Dagonet looked at her with worried eyes. They were the eyes of a healer and Cara knew he only wanted to help, but she neither wanted nor needed it.

"Cara, let him help you," Gawain sighed exasperatedly. He was tired of Cara shrugging off her injuries and he was sick and tired of hearing the same old arguments she would have with Dagonet. It seemed like a never ending struggle and Gawain was growing very tired of it very quick.

"I don't need help," she replied quickly, shooting a glare in Gawain's direction. The other knights hadn't noticed a change in her attitude except for Tristan. She seemed to distance herself a little more than she used to and he could see a change in the way she moved. He knew something had happened and he already had an idea of it was.

Dagonet had given up on the idea of helping her while she was awake. Instead he tried a different approach. Dag boiled some sort of leafy mixture over the fire and Cara couldn't help, but wonder what he was up to. A few moments later he handed her a cup of the steaming liquid. She shook her head rejecting it. "I don't want it."

"It'll help with the pain," he responded in his usual laid back tone of voice. Cara stared at the cup suspiciously. Dagonet only looked at her with pleading eyes. Cara was good at reading people, but Dagonet seemed to mask his emotions better than Tristan, if that was possible. Finally she took the drink in her hands and chugged it down. Random shivers traveled down her spine and Cara was quick to retrieve her blanket from her saddle bags, which resided in front of Aidan. The horse snorted at her approach and she winced as she bent down to grab the blanket.

She suddenly felt dizzy as she made her way back to the fire and her eyes darted to Dagonet. He lied to her. She never made it back. She felt herself falling, but an arm wrapped itself around her waist. Cara was fighting the drug and Lancelot could tell as he half dragged her to her bedroll.

She leaned on him heavily for support. "Liar," she spat disgustedly at Dagonet. The gentle giant only smiled a faint smile.

"Relax, Cara," Lancelot whispered as he sat down next to her. He draped the blanket around her shoulders. Cara shook her head, trying to get rid of the drowsiness, but it weighed heavily on her eye lids. She would not give Dagonet the satisfaction of winning. As the minutes went by it became harder and harder to focus and Cara couldn't force herself to stay awake any longer.


	18. I'm Sorry

_**18 – I'm Sorry – Buckcherry **_

Overall Cara had sustained three broken ribs and several bruises plus the self inflicted broken thumb. Dagonet had not told the other knights that she had been raped. That was her business and it was her decision to tell them not his. It was too personal. Though, Tristan seemed to already know. Just by looking at him, Dagonet could tell that Tristan knew the truth.

Cara awoke a few hours later and only Dagonet remained awake. Cara felt dead and weak. What had he done to her? She raised her self up on her elbows and looked at Dagonet. "You drugged me?" she accused. Her voice held a sense of uncertainty and disbelief.

"You wouldn't let me help you otherwise," he said softly, his voice low so he wouldn't wake the sleeping knights. She held her bandaged ribs with her broken hand and moved into a sitting position with the other. It was slightly painful, but Cara had had worse.

Cara caught Dagonet's stern gaze as she sat by the fire. He knew. He knew what those men had done to her. She silently prayed to whoever was up there that the other knights did not know. The gentle knight dropped his gaze first. "You should get some rest while you can," he advised, throwing another log on the dying fire.

Cara neither answered nor moved. She only stared at the flickering flames. Dagonet looked at her slightly worried. Maybe she had not heard him. "Cara?" he asked a little louder. That seemed to snap her from her reverie. Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice. "Are you alright?" he asked the same worried tone he always had. Cara struggled to bring a smile to her face.

"I'm fine," she said softly. Cara couldn't keep the fake smile on her face for very long and she dropped it as soon as she looked away. Dagonet shook his head at her. Cara couldn't go back to sleep. The sky was already beginning to lighten.

The knights awoke one by one. They weren't in a rush. They had Cara, there was plenty time to get back. As soon as Lancelot awoke he went to Cara. He still had trouble believing how much of a mess he had been when he thought he lost her. She didn't seem fazed by her recent ordeal in fact she seemed the same.

The truth Cara wasn't the same. She had been violated. She had been abused. She had finally realized that there was no escaping her life here. The knights wouldn't let her. She was trapped. That's how she felt. Plus it was awkward. Arthur had not spoken to her and she had no desire to speak to him. She meant what she did. If he was looking for an apology he wasn't going to get it.

Now she owed him for saving her life. Cara would've rather died with those men. She didn't want to go back, but she knew that there was no getting out of this mess. It was seven to one. Cara was tired of running. What good was it doing her? It was just a waste of time and effort.

It was a quiet morning and even that was an understatement. It was more like silent. No Gawain had said a few words to Galahad, but that was it. Aidan was happy to have his mistress back and was all too eager to serve her.

Cara had resumed her normal position behind the knights. It was far too awkward to be next to them. At least now they were chatting somewhat happily. Cara rode alone for maybe an hour before she saw Arthur waiting for her. She passed him without a glance and he simply followed next to her.

Arthur had spent the past hour trying to figure out what to say to her. He thought he had everything figured out. He thought he was ready to talk to her, but now. Now that he was next to her he was at a loss for words.

"You know you will still have to be punished when we return to the wall," he said simply and softly. They were too far back for any of the knights to hear their conversation, but his words were careful and Arthur didn't want their conversation to become a full blown argument. Cara was still silent. She didn't even make a move to look at him. "She's my wife, Cara, and the queen I can't let you get away with that." Cara still said nothing. "What would the people think of me then? What kind of king would I be if I didn't protect my people?"

Cara looked at him and he caught the anger in her eyes. "Why didn't you just leave me with them?" she asked nodding her head behind her, referring to the dead Romans. "I would've been better off."

"You would have been dead," Arthur interjected sternly. His voice was harsh and Cara flinched at the last word.

"I would rather be dead than have stripes on my back for doing something I thought was right. I still think I'm right," she said whispering her last sentence. Arthur was silent for a moment. For a moment he didn't know how to answer. Cara was always quick with her words and Arthur had a hard time keeping up with her.

"Cara, you tried to murder my wife what else would you have me do?" he asked, almost pleading with her. Cara turned to look at him and Arthur caught the familiar look in her eyes.

"Let me go," she suggested simply. Arthur shook his head in refusal. "Remember, Arthur, I never asked to be rescued," she snapped angrily. Cara turned to ride away from him, but Arthur caught her reins. A shooting glare was sent in his direction.

"You aren't going anywhere, Cara," Arthur said simply ignoring the death glare he was receiving. It was harder than it looked. Her eyes seemed to be tearing him apart. He let her have control of the horse again and surprisingly she stayed by his side.

"So I'm your prisoner now?" she laughed. It wasn't out of humor. It was out of disbelief.

"I'll tie you up if I need to," he replied in the same stoic voice. Cara's disbelieving smile soon vanished and was replaced with a determined gaze.

"I'll go back with you," she said simply. "I'll let you do whatever you need to prove to your people that you are a good king." Arthur turned to her. Her mood had changed severely in the past few minutes. She had gone from angry to disbelieving to acceptance. "But I want you to promise me something."

Arthur looked at her slightly confused, but he nodded his head. "Anything," he said simply. And that was the truth. He would give anything for Cara to come back without a fight. He didn't want to have to tie her up at night. That wouldn't go over well with the other knights especially Tristan and Lancelot.

"After you are done tormenting me I'm leaving. You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone and that no one will follow me." Arthur was shocked. She was just going to leave, without a word. Arthur had seen how his best friend had been when he first lost Cara. The devastated look in his dark eyes, the desperation to get her back. He wouldn't let that happen again.

"I can't promise that," he said simply, his voice low and almost pained. She shouldn't have asked him that. Cara shot him a look that said _'You promised.' _

"You said 'anything'," she reminded, angry that he was going back on his word. She couldn't look at him instead she looked ahead of her, but when Arthur spoke she turned back to him.

"You don't know what it was like, Cara," he said harshly, begging her to understand.

"I don't care, Arthur," she snapped harshly before he could go any further. Cara didn't want to hear it. It would only make leaving that much harder. "I'm leaving and you promised me," she spat ruthlessly. Arthur internally flinched at her tone.

"Look I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry for what is going to happen to you. And I'm sorry that I can't keep my promise," he said breathlessly. Cara was silent. She knew he was sorry, but she couldn't forgive him. He lied to her. "I'm sorry," he repeated solemnly.


	19. Face Down

_**19 – Face Down – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus **_

They reached the fort three days later. It was about midday and Cara was not looking forward to the next hour or two. In all honesty Cara was scared out of her mind. She never liked the whip even though it had never been laid upon her before. She had witnessed countless floggings. Some were traitors others were criminals such as thieves and murderers. Cara was neither. Yes she had attempted murder, but she never killed anyone. Oh well, it didn't matter now. Her fate was set in stone.

The large wooden doors opened slowly, allowing the knights to pass through. They were greeted by the familiar sight. Cara never even wanted to see this place again. She ran away for a reason. The townspeople looked at Cara with somewhat frightened expressions. They looked at her the way they looked at Tristan. Then again maybe she was just paranoid.

"Galahad, Gawain, guard Cara," Arthur commanded as the knights dismounted. Cara handed Aidan's reins to Tristan who gave her a small reassuring clasp on the shoulder. Cara watched the knights' retreating forms. Dagonet and Bors were practically dragging an angry Lancelot toward the tavern. Her grey eyes following their steps before she looked at the ground.

_**FLASHBACK **_

"Are you alright?" Lancelot asked as they rode toward the fort. Cara looked at him and smiled slightly.

"I'm fine," she answered. Lancelot nodded in acceptance, but the concern still shone brightly in his dark brown eyes.

"I won't let him hurt you," he said suddenly. His eyes were on Arthur's back.

"He's not gonna hurt me," Cara reassured. Lancelot looked at her skeptically. Cara couldn't believe what she was about to do, but it would ease Lancelot's mind. At least she hoped it would. "Lancelot…I was wrong. I deserve everything I got coming to me." Okay this was making Cara feel even worse, but it looked like Lancelot was feeling better.

"Cara, you don't deserve to be whipped like a dog you―"

What if someone tried to kill me, Lancelot," Cara interrupted. "You would feel just as strongly as Arthur does. Just be thankful he isn't sentencing me to death," she pointed out pushing her horse into a vigorous trot.

_**END FLASHBACK **_

"There you are!" There wasn't a need for Cara to look and see who spoke to her. She knew who it was by the thick Irish accent, but she looked nonetheless. It would have been rude for Cara not to acknowledge her friend. "Don't you ever to that to me again ya hear," she scolded, giving her a friendly hug.

Cara had to smile at the Irish woman. Vanora was always worrying over Cara and it was irritating at times, but right now she needed a friend. "You had me worried sick," she continued. Cara had to laugh at that.

"Aw come on, Van," Cara said lightly. "You know I'm indestructible," Cara said, bringing up the familiar joke. It had some truth to it. Cara had been at death's door several times and yet here she stood. Van smacked her lightly over the head.

"Don't start that again," she rebuked sharply.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah," Cara said waving it off. It was funny. For a moment she had forgotten all about what was to come and she forgot about all her problems. For a moment she forgot about leaving. And for a moment she pictured a different series of future events.

"Cara!" Arthur called. He stood in a doorway that led to a private square. Cara moved toward him, but Van grabbed her arm. Cara looked at her quizzically and Vanora only looked back at her in worry.

"I'll be fine, Van," Cara said softly, answering Vanora's silent question. Vanora let her go and Gawain and Galahad appeared beside her. She was in between them. Were they afraid she was going to run? Arthur's face had changed considerably and Cara could tell it was just an act.

He grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her inside. Ok one: Cara wasn't one to be touched and two: her recent captivity had already done her great bodily harm. The last thing she needed was additional injuries.

She was thrown to the dust and Cara bit her lip as her broken ribs were jostled. Arthur knew he was being way too rough, but he also knew that it would save her the number of lashes she would receive. He walked briskly to his wife's side. Cara had almost missed the queen, but then again she almost missed the skinny man that held the whip.

There were two poles in front of her with iron rings attached. Usually they would hold horses, but today they would be holding Cara. Once again Cara felt her wrists being tied and the lanky man was none to gentle. The blonde woman was facing Arthur and the man with the whip moved behind her. He would watch her suffer. Arthur was sick, he really was. Galahad and Gawain stood at the far end, but no one else. Surly they weren't here voluntarily. She stole a glance at them and she could easily see the remorse on both of their solemn faces.

More than half of her wished Lancelot was there instead. He would provide her comfort just by being there, but she knew he would have been a hindrance. Lancelot strongly opposed the idea which was one reason why he was being held hostage at the tavern until the beating was over. That's why he wasn't here. She lowered her head in preparation of what was to come.

"How many lashes, my lord?" the young man asked, as he ripped her shirt open to expose her bare back. The thick white bandage was still wrapped around her torso. Arthur didn't protest when the man unwrapped the bandage. It would only be a hindrance in the long run.

"Twenty," was his short serious reply. The Woad looked at Arthur somewhat disbelieving. She looked at him like that wasn't enough? Cara had the nerve to stare back at her with a malicious grin. The whip snapped behind her. Cara had seen enough floggings to know that they tested the whip and she didn't flinch.

About half a second later she felt the whip snap against her flesh. Her eyes snapped closed and she let her hair cover her face. The whip snapped again. That was two only eighteen more to go. Lancelot's face danced in the darkness. Cara would have opened her eyes, but she was holding on to that image and that was the only thing keeping her from screaming. Cara had stopped counting after nine. She was tired and she could feel the blood rolling down her back. Her breaths were quick and came in short painful gasps. Her wrists ached mercilessly. She was too weak hold herself up

At last the lashes stopped and Cara opened her eyes. The thin lanky man was retreating and she saw Guinevere exit the square from where she had entered. Galahad and Gawain were gone as was Arthur. Cara pulled herself up, but three pairs of hands held her where she was. "Don't move." The voice was stern and held a sense of guilt. Cara recognized it as Arthur's. So they hadn't left after all. "You two get her back to her room. I'll fetch Dagonet."

Galahad didn't bother untying the leather. He simply took a dagger and sliced through the material. Cara fell forward, but Gawain was there to catch her. She shoved his hands off her instantly and tried to rise. It was no surprise that it was a failed attempt.

Cara remained there a few more moments before she tried t rise again. This time she swallowed her pride and allowed the cousins helped her. Each one had an elbow and they held her up. Cara winced and nearly lost her balance due to the pain, but Gawain and Galahad were there to steady her.

"Can you walk," Galahad asked seriously. Cara looked at him with a scared yet determined gaze and nodded. However, she overestimated her strength and she only made it a few steps before nearly collapsing.

"Come on, Cara," Gawain encouraged, as he and Galahad were dragged down slightly by her weight. "You have to help us out a little." He was afraid to pick her up. Her back looked painful enough as it was and he didn't want to hurt her further. They dragged Cara to her feet once more. Again she only made it a few steps before her weak legs gave out on her. Her vision was blurry and Galahad could feel her shaking.

"To hell with this," the young knight said mostly to himself as he hoisted Cara effortlessly over his shoulder like a sack of grain. Cara hissed and squirmed in pain as her wounds made contact with Galahad's hand. "Sorry," Galahad soothed. Gawain looked on in disapproval, but he made sure the knight had her before they set off toward her room at a fast walk.


	20. Broken

_**20 – Broken – Lifehouse **_

Her room was empty when they got there. A small whimper escaped Cara's lips as Galahad sat her down on the bed. She didn't have to be told to lie down. Cara collapsed on the bed, her head buried in the pillow and her back facing up so that it wouldn't be as painful.

Galahad couldn't resist touching one of the deep lacerations that marred her once flawless back. Cara let out small pain filled whimpers and Galahad withdrew his hand quickly. "Sorry," he apologized quickly. Galahad's interest had only sparked Gawain's and he fetched a cloth from the dresser.

Cara hissed when it touched her inflamed skin. "I swear to everything that's holy if you two don't stop touching me," she started, but that was all the further she got. The sound of the heavy door opening cut her off.

"Bloody hell," a loud voice rang out, couldn't be anyone, but Bors. Soft fingers touched one of the many gashes.

"Piss off, Dag," Cara muttered. "I'm fine." Dagonet didn't even chuckle at her overused phrase. Cara caught a glimpse at his grave looking face. This wasn't the worst wound Cara had had. Then again she had never been wounded by one of her own. He continued to touch and probe the gashes and Cara continued to wince and whimper. "Dag, please," she begged. Cara hated to sound weak, but with him touching her back it only hurt worse.

"Shut up, Cara," Gawain snapped; his voice unintentionally harsh. Cara flinched at his tone. Cara jumped when water splattered over her wounded back. She nearly jumped off the bed at the pain, but a firm, calloused hand forced her back to the bed.

"Easy," the voice spoke. Cara recognized the voice as Tristan's. She let her eyes wander around the room. Everyone was there, except the one she wanted to see most.

"Where's Lancelot?" she asked weakly.

"With Arthur," was Dagonet's simple reply. Cara hissed when he scrubbed against a particularly nasty gash. "Sorry," he apologized. "I know it hurts." Dagonet was as quick and gentle as he could possibly be and finally they could see the twenty red lines that crisscrossed her back. Cara's eyes widened when she saw the familiar salve in Dagonet's hand.

He didn't even warn her about the pain. Then again Cara didn't need a warning. She knew how badly it would hurt. She clutched the sheets as it was applied and fought back the sounds of pain that threatened to escape her pursed lips.

Cara felt like such a baby. She had never considered herself weak and quite frankly neither had any of the knights. She was a strong little thing and Cara was surprised at how strong the whip really was. She felt drained and weak and that was only after twenty lashes. She couldn't imagine receiving fifty. Dagonet rewrapped her ribs. He had checked those as well to be sure that none had been damaged during her beating.

The knights turned their backs respectfully as Cara changed out of her bloody shirt and into a cleaner one. After a few moments of biting back pain her breathing was heavy and she was exhausted. She had barely gotten it buttoned when she collapsed face first. Tristan laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder and it remained there until Cara was breathing easier.

Tristan's hand disappeared from Cara's shoulder and Cara misread the gesture. She pushed herself up on the heels of her hands. She wanted to get up. She needed to get up. It made her feel stronger mentally anyway. Physically her body wouldn't be able to handle it and the rest of the knights knew it. "Lay still, Cara," Gawain snapped again, pushing her back down roughly. Cara groaned in pain. What was with him?

"I'm fine," she argued through her teeth, moving to get up again, but once again someone pushed her back down.

"You're not going anywhere, little one," Bors said softly, using the old nickname.

"Boys, I'm fine," she reassured. "It's only a couple of scratches."

"Yes plus the three broken ribs and a broken finger," Dagonet murmured. "You need rest, Cara." The young woman shook her head in disagreement. She didn't say a word as she rose to her feet. A hand on her shoulder steadied her as the dizziness passed. She moved to take a step, but she felt herself falling.

Galahad caught her and she whimpered when his hands made contact with her back. "Come on," he said under his breath, hoisting her to her feet. He dragged her toward the bed and Cara pushed his hands away nearly falling once more.

"Cara, you need to get back into bed. You've lost a lot of blood," Dagonet persuaded, but Cara did listen. She was determined. The gentle giant looked to Tristan only to find that the scout was already by her side. He grabbed her roughly by the elbow and forcefully spun her toward the bed. Cara winced at the pain it caused. She knew she wasn't getting out of this one.

"Stay down you foolish girl," he ordered harshly, pushing her back onto the bed. Cara obeyed. It was hard not to. Tristan knew how to handle her and he was an expert at scaring the living daylights out of people. Cara had known Tristan all her life and he still knew how to scare her. His scrutinizing expression seemed to tear into her and it was quite unnerving.

Cara was slightly frightened and she cowered under his stern gaze. No one spoke. They were too stunned. They had never seen the scout treat he in such a way, especially when she was injured. Tristan had been overly rough with their sister, but only Gawain seemed to realize that his callousness had helped her and Cara no longer tried to get up.

The tense moment was interrupted when the door opened. All eyes went to the wooden door and they weren't surprised to see their commander and Lancelot enter. Tristan watched Lancelot warily as he moved to the corner where he would be out of the way.

Lancelot looked angry when he entered the room and you didn't have to be Tristan to sense the hostility that radiated off of him. They had been arguing. You could see it on both their faces. However, when he saw Cara lying there, so fragile and vulnerable, his face softened. He crossed the room in a few steps and he grabbed Cara's hand that hung off the side of the bed in a comforting manner.

"How is she?" Arthur asked solemnly. He looked at her with a somewhat guilty expression on his face and none of the knights could look at their commander.

"They will heal in time,' he said simply. "As long as infection doesn't set in she should be fine in a few days." Arthur nodded in understanding and looked back at Cara.

"I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely.

"It's alright," Cara said, "I'm alright." The blonde woman moved to sit up, but once again she was restrained. She was really starting to get sick of people touching her.

"Lay still," he ordered softly, "you'll only hurt yourself further." Cara opened her mouth to say something, but Lancelot out a finger to her lips, silencing her. "For the sake of my sanity please do not say that you are fine."


	21. She Never Cried In Front Of Me

_**21 – She Never Cried In Front Of Me – Toby Keith **_

Lancelot awoke in the middle of the night. He had volunteered to stay with her in case fever arose. Cara wasn't too keen on the idea, but she drifted off at an early hour. Lancelot took a moment to figure out what woke him and realized that Dagonet was back to check on Cara.

He said nothing for fear of waking Cara. Dagonet's hand trailed the lashes and he shook his head in disapproval. Even in her sleep Cara whimpered and groaned. Lancelot's eyes were dark and Dagonet could tell he was still angry with Arthur.

"Don't blame Arthur," Dagonet said softly as he unlaced the back of the dress she now wore. His voice was so low Lancelot barely caught what he said. "It was her own fault." Lancelot's eyes seemed to darken, but they held a sense of understanding.

"I know," Lancelot said softly Dagonet caught a tinge of sadness in his quiet voice. It quiet for another few minutes as Dagonet checked the injuries she had received prior to the flogging. Cara arched her back when Dagonet rolled her over and Lancelot's faces contorted in pain when he heard her moan involuntarily.

Dagonet grabbed her wrapped hand and Lancelot looked on in curiosity. He had assumed she had cut herself or something like that. His eyes widened in shock when he realized her thumb was dangling at an awkward angle now that it was unwrapped.

"Those dogs paid for what they did," Lancelot spat glaring at her hand in disgust. It was nasty looking. All black and blue and looked more painful than the lashes, but Cara didn't move. Dag caught his gaze and looked back at him with a sympathetic look in his eyes. "What?"

"They didn't do this," he said referring to her hand. "Cara broke it herself trying to escape." Lancelot dropped his gaze to the floor and Dagonet caught a few of the curses that escaped his lips.

"Will it heal," he asked seriously. It was her right hand and without it she wouldn't be able to use a bow or sword again. That in itself would be a crushing blow to Cara. He watched as Dagonet made sure the finger was still where it needed to be before he wrapped it.

"I don't know," was Dagonet's simple quiet reply. Lancelot looked at him with questioning eyes. Lancelot wasn't to be messed with right now and his eyes flashed dangerously. "It wasn't a clean break. It may heal it may not." Lancelot let out an exasperated sigh and buried his head in his hands.

"And if it doesn't?" Lancelot asked, looking up at Dagonet. The giant knight didn't know why Lancelot had asked him that. It was a touchy subject altogether and Dagonet didn't want to have to think about it. Besides, Lancelot knew the answer. Perhaps he just needed to be told again.

"Then there's nothing I can do," Dagonet replied solemnly.

"Why would she do something like that?" he asked mostly to himself. He couldn't understand why Cara would do that to get away. She should have known they wouldn't leave her alone. She should've known that they would come after her.

"Remember, Lancelot," Dagonet warned before things got out of hand. "She didn't know we were coming for her. If you were alone wouldn't you have done the same?"

"She should've known," Lancelot answered simply. Dagonet shook his head in disagreement.

"Cara had endangered Guinevere's life, Lancelot. Even I got the impression that Arthur wanted her dead before you went and talked to him," Dagonet explained. His voice was soft and had a wise fatherly sense to it. "What would you think if you were in Cara's place?" Lancelot didn't answer.

He understood what Dagonet was saying. Cara had some sense to do what she did, but now it might come back to bite her in the ass. Dagonet gave Lancelot's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving him and Cara alone.

Cara awoke an hour later when her back began to throb. She was surprised to see Lancelot sitting in a chair beside her bed. Cara was silent and careful not to wake the sleeping knight. She struggled to sit up and groaned softly. She swung her legs over the side of the bed. She was feeling better than she was earlier, but the dizziness was still there.

She stood up warily, not sure if her legs would support her. Satisfied, she took a step. She swayed a little, but didn't fall. She took another and another. She walked faster now, but it didn't last long. She stumbled to the ground with a loud thump.

Lancelot jumped up at the sudden noise and his eyes darted warily around the room, finally settling on Cara. He hurried to her side. "What are you doing?" he asked half angry that she tried to sneak out. Cara didn't answer as Lancelot hoisted her to her feet. Cara wasn't expecting Lancelot to carry her back to the bed and she hissed when his hand touched her wounds.

Lancelot set her gently back on the bed and Cara stared at him with soft eyes. "Do you want to kill yourself?" he asked, not taking his stern eyes off of her.

"Lancelot, I don't think getting out of bed is going to kill me," she argued.

"No, but it won't help you either," Lancelot shot back. Cara internally flinched at his suddenly harsh tone. "What woke you?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, too quickly and Lancelot saw right through her lie. That was another thing that had changed. Cara wasn't that stone wall she used to be. Everything about her had seemed to soften.

"Cara," he begged, stroking her cheek lovingly. Cara pulled away from his touch and lay down on her stomach once more. Lancelot saw her face contort with pain.

One thing had been bugging Lancelot and he needed to know the answer. Cara was always a fighter and now she seemed…broken. "Why did you let Arthur do that to you?" he asked suddenly. Cara was caught off guard by the question.

She struggled to choose the right words. "Because I deserved it," she answered simply. Lancelot was about to say something, but Cara cut him off. "Lancelot, I'm tired could we finish this conversation another time?"

The dark curly haired knight nodded and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. "Get some rest," he advised. "You need it."


	22. My Skin

_**22 –My Skin – Natalie Merchant **_

Lancelot must have dozed off because then next thing he knew he was jolted awake. His eyes scanned the room behind him and then settled on the bed in front of him. He was surprised to see Cara sitting in bed. He would've have thought she would have been gone by now. Seize the moment and take her chances.

She was sitting up with her knees draw to her chest. Her arms were wrapped around her drawn up legs and she looked quite content and comfortable at the moment. The only thing Lancelot didn't like was that Cara had not budged to even look at him. Well, that's one thing about her that hadn't changed.

He pushed a stray lock of golden hair away from her pale, fragile face. No smile, no grin, nothing; she was expressionless as she toyed with her broken hand. Nothing was said. It was an awkward silence, but Lancelot waited patiently for her to speak.

Cara seemed to grow nervous. Something that Lancelot never thought possible for Cara. In her nervousness she squeezed her broken hand. Lancelot grabbed her injured hand and pulled it away from her. His eyes were soft, but stern. She looked at him first in confusion and then second in understanding. Her gaze returned to the bed.

Again it was silent for some moments, but this time it wasn't long before Cara spoke. "Why did you save me?" Her voice was quite and plain. Lancelot let go of her hand and pulled her face in his direction. He wanted her to look at him when he spoke.

"Why wouldn't I?" he replied with a question of his own. Cara looked him in the eyes. There was sincerity beneath his chocolate orbs. She pulled her head out of his hands.

"Aren't you angry with me?" Lancelot leaned back against his chair. Cara bit her lip nervously as she let her eyes focus on the white sheets that covered her bed.

"I was," he confessed, "but I was also…" he trailed off as if he couldn't bring himself to say what he felt. Cara wondered if he hated her. If he finally realized that he didn't love her. "I was scared, Cara." Lancelot hung his head as he remembered. "I thought I lost you. Do you know what it felt like when even Tristan had trouble finding you? I don't want to lose you, Cara."

"You won't," she assured softly.

"I almost did. Would you have at least come back?" he asked, begging to know the answer. In truth Cara had not been planning on returning. She wondered if she could lie to him, but her conscience was quickly shouting at her not to. She lowered her head even more.

"No." A flash of anger crossed Lancelot's face, but was instantly replaced with an emotion Cara could not decipher. She had to remind him gently that she never asked to be rescued. "You didn't need to worry about me. I would have been fine," she said comfortingly, but it didn't provide comfort it only provoked him.

"You call this fine," he asked seriously, grabbing her wrapped hand. Cara winced and Lancelot loosened his grip, but only slightly.

"That was my doing," Cara snapped.

"Why?" he asked, begging to know. It was killing him. "Why would you do such a thing?" Cara no longer had that self control. She was lashing out. She had kept silent about everything that had happened and she could no longer restrain herself

"What choice did I have?!" she asked pleadingly. "I didn't know you were coming. I didn't expect you to after what I had done. I didn't think you cared about me anymore."

"Do you have such little faith in us? Cara, you have saved our asses more times than we can count. You think we would've left you alone. We care about you more than you think."

"Is it so hard for you to leave me alone? I know you care about me…and maybe the others do too, but―"

Lancelot cut her off. "There is no maybe. They care about you whether they want to admit to it or not. Stop acting like you don't matter because you do. "You matter to me. You matter to Arthur. Hell even Vanora cares about you. So, stop degrading yourself. There are plenty of people in this fort that care for you.

"I know that, but―"

"Cara, stop. Just stop!" he nearly shouted in anger. Cara stopped and waited for him to continue. She knew he was about to rant and quite frankly she really wasn't in the mood to hear it. "I love you, Cara. You know that. Do you really think I would let you leave like that?" Cara knew the answer to that.

"I can take care of myself, Lancelot. I'm not a child," she fumed. Lancelot let go of her wrist and stood in menacingly in front of her.

Those soft eyes were burning and boring into her. "Cara, do have any idea what could have happened?" Cara used to be strong and now she was on the verge of breaking. Everything that could have happened did happen. She had been beaten bloody, raped, and whipped. What else was there?

Lancelot caught the look in her eyes after he said those last few words. He wasn't as smart as Tristan and he didn't trust looks. He trusted words. There was only one major problem the dark haired knight faced. Would Cara be strong enough to tell him?

"Cara?" he asked; his voice barely above a whisper. This time she raised her head and look him straight in the eye. "Did they?" he didn't even finish. Cara was already nodding as she tried to keep the tears from flowing.

Lancelot didn't know what to say. He only got up from where he sat and Cara made room for him on the bed. He snuggled close to her, wrapping his arms protectively around her. "Shh," he soothed. "They won't hurt you again." He wouldn't let anyone touch her. Cara sobbed silently. There was no desperate sobbing. There were only silent tears and trembling. He would protect her. That was a promise he made to himself.


	23. More Time

_**23 – More Time – Needtobreathe **_

Lancelot had left later the next morning and Cara was once again left alone. Her back flared every time she dared to move, but sitting there only gave her more time to think. She felt weak spending her whole day in bed. It was only a few lashes. She had dealt with worse.

The young woman also had time to think about Lancelot and Arthur and the rest of the knights. She had time to think about the future. Did she really want to leave? She didn't know. Did she really want to be a wanderer with no place or purpose in life? Again she didn't know. Perhaps spur of the moment running wasn't in her best interest.

She had enough. She couldn't sit here all day and mope. Without a moment's hesitation she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Cara bit her lip to keep from groaning. Ok it wasn't the best ideas Cara had, but it sure wasn't the worst. She practically hobbled to the door. Cara straightened up as she reached for the knob and he bit back another cry.

It hurt and Cara couldn't deny that had second thoughts about leaving the safety of her room. She dared a glance at the soft bed that she had just recently left. Cara shook the thought off. She turned the knob slowly and peeked out into the hallway. This scene seemed oddly familiar. It reminded her of when she snuck out to see Tristan after the battle of Baden Hill.

There was only a maid in the hall. Cara realized something when she was halfway down the hall. What was she wearing? She looked at herself and let out a sigh of relief when she saw she was dressed in a light purple gown. It used to be Vanora's.

Cara continued on her way toward the tavern. It would be around midday and the tavern was always a little crowded. Cara was surprised at how exhausted she was when she reached the place. She had barely done anything and already she was breathing heavier and wishing she could sit down for just a minute.

Her eyes scanned the crowed for the familiar red head and she found her at the bar serving drinks to the Romans that sat near her. When Vanora spotted her things got very ugly very fast. Her eyes seemed to darken and Cara winced at the angry glare she was receiving. "What do you think you're doing?" Vanora asked. Cara caught the deadly tone.

"Van, I―," Cara started, but the fiery Irish woman interrupted her.

"Do you have a death wish?" Cara was growing annoyed with Vanora's constant fussing. She was a big girl. She knew her limitations.

"Vanora, please―"

"Get back to bed, now," she ordered pointing in the direction Cara had come. She was going to be driven off so easily. She folded her arms stubbornly across her chest.

"No," she said simply. Vanora was about to go off on a tangent, but Cara stopped her. "Vanora, I'm fine. I've had enough rest and I'm working whether you like it or not." Vanora's mouth opened and closed like a fish as she tried to figure out how to respond.

"Fine," she said, not wanting to argue with her best friend. It wouldn't do her any good anyway. Cara was stubborn and did what she wanted when she wanted. "But you're only getting this table here," Vanora said pointing to the one in front of them, "and your own. And if you start feeling ill I want you outta here and back to bed ya hear?" Cara wanted to protest, but it was all or nothing and Cara wasn't going back to bed. She knew to respect Vanora's conditions.

"Deal," she agreed as she went to fetch drinks. Vanora shook her head at the obstinate woman.

"Nice dress by the way," she said with a smile. Cara only smiled in return. She served drinks for the next hour and every second her strength seemed to be waning. Vanora had begged her take a rest, but Cara was stubborn and wouldn't listen to her. Vanora hoped that the knights would be able to convince her to go back to bed when they got there.

Another hour went by before Gawain and Galahad entered the tavern. Two of the wenches instantly clung to them like leeches the moment they entered. Cara grabbed a full pitcher off the bar as well as a few mugs from underneath.

The wenches had made themselves at home on the knights' laps and they didn't look like they were leaving any time soon. However, when Cara approached Gawain's girl was nearly on the floor and he stared back at her with angry eyes. "Hey, boys," she greeted in the cheeriest voice she could muster. Galahad caught the weariness in her tone.

"You should be in bed," a voice said from behind her. Cara didn't have to turn around to know that it was the gentle giant.

"Yes," Cara agreed in a light tone, "but I'm not." She met Dagonet's firm gaze with a small smile.

"You want a drink?" she asked, holding up an extra mug and the pitcher of ale. Dagonet watched her for a moment, scrutinizing her. He was predicting when she would fall over. He stared at her a few more moments before nodding his head. Cara handed him the poured drink and moved to go back to the Roman table, but a hand shot out like a snake and grasped her arm.

Cara stared at the arm that touched her and then at the owner. Dagonet looked at her and in a forceful manner spoke his mind. "Don't overdo it." Cara pulled her arm out of his grasp annoyed, but nodded anyway. She had made the same promise to Vanora, but she wasn't stopping anytime soon even if she was tired.

As the minutes rolled by the three knights could see Cara beginning to slow down, but she kept on going. There was no stopping her. She looked exhausted, but still she worked. "She's gonna kill herself one of these days," Gawain observed, he had gotten rid of his wench a long time ago. She didn't seem too happy when Gawain paid more attention to Cara than to her.

Someone who didn't know Gawain would have thought he was in love with Cara, but the knights knew his real reasoning for protecting her. She had reminded him so much of his little sister, though it was only a close friendship, like Cara had with most of the other knights. Gawain saw her as a younger sibling and it was his job to make sure she didn't get hurt both mentally and physically.

Tristan had also taken up that role, but his relationship was different. Cara was closer to him and both of them shared quite a few skills. They were similar which is why Cara opened up to Tristan more than she did anyone else.

Gawain had had enough when he saw Cara leaning on the bar counter with her head resting in her palm. The three knights looked at each other. Cara was going back to her room whether she liked it or not and all eyes pointed to Galahad at first. He was the youngest after all. It was his job to do the dirty work.

Galahad wasn't too happy. He rolled his eyes and he pushed his current wench off his lap. Dagonet and Gawain let out small chuckles at his behavior. They were glad they weren't the ones who had to tell Cara to go back to bed. She wasn't a very good listener. She liked doing things her way and her way only.


	24. Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace

_**24 – Between Raising Hell And Amazing Grace – Big & Rich**_

"Cara, come on," Galahad ordered, dragging Cara out of the tavern. She clung to the doorframe. Her nails dug into the wood as Galahad tried to drag her back to her room. Cara would not go back. "Cara, let go," he ordered angrily. To be honest his voice didn't even faze the young woman.

Galahad only scared her when he was drunk. It was like another man had taken over. He was easily angered and could be quite a handful. Thankfully this wasn't the case. He was still sober, but Cara's stubbornness had pushed him a little too far.

"You know if you're trying to get her into bed Galahad that's not the way to do it," Bors said as he entered the tavern. Tristan was following close behind and his eyes lingered on the young knights. They looked like a fighting couple and Tristan couldn't help, but smile.

"Very funny, Bors," Galahad responded, still trying to pry Cara's fingers from the doorframe. It was harder than it looked. Galahad just wasn't ambidextrous and Cara was skilled in escaping people. However Tristan provided aid to the youngest knight.

The silent scout pried Cara's fingers from the wood and Galahad instantly pulled her away. "Traitor," she snapped at Tristan. Her voice was harsh, but Tristan knew she was teasing. Galahad practically dragged her down the hall.

She let her heels dig into the floor like a stubborn mule. She didn't want to go back to that stuffy room. She had been locked up long enough. Galahad still managed to drag her though it was harder for him to do so. For someone who looked about ready to fall over she sure was strong. Galahad finally got her to her room and he pushed her forcefully onto the bed.

The young woman groaned when her back met the soft mattress. She withered for a moment as she tried to ignore the pain. Cara knew Galahad was watching her and she struggled to regain her sense of strength. Cara's ribs flared when she shot up. Pain ran through her and Cara fell back to the bed. She lay there for a few more moments before trying to sit up again.

This time Cara sat up slowly holding her still flaring ribs. Anger was one emotion that was clearly displayed in her ocean eyes. "You need to rest, Cara," Galahad said moving towards the door. His voice had an apologetic tone, but it was strict as well. With that the youngest knight left.

Cara let herself fall back in exasperation and winced when her back flared up once more. Maybe a little nap couldn't hurt. After all, her bed was so soft and warm. As much as she wanted to get up Cara just didn't have the energy. Physically Cara was exhausted, no she was beyond exhaustion. Mentally Cara just wanted to remain where she was.

A smile graced her features as she pulled the blankets up to her chin. It was slightly chilly in her room and even after she was beneath the blankets Cara could seem to escape the cold. She shivered slightly. Cara tensed at the cold, but quickly forced herself to relax. In the next few minutes Cara was out.

_**DREAM SEQUENCE/FLASHBACK **_

Shouts echoed through the halls. A young Cara was jolted awake from her deep slumber. Someone was banging on her door. She scrambled to her feet, stumbling a few times in her weariness. She yanked the door open and was surprised to see the youngest knight standing there.

She looked at him with questioning eyes. The young boy stared back at her uncomfortably as if he didn't know what to say. A roman came to his rescue. "There's been an attack on a village not far from here. Get yourself ready we leave in ten minutes.

The petite girl nodded slightly and shut the door when he had gone. She raced to her wardrobe and it took all she had to push the two heavy, wooden doors open. She slipped out of her plain white night gown and into her breeches and tunic. Cara pulled the heavy chain armor over her head. It weighed her down slightly, but she was growing accustomed to the added weight.

She strapped her sword to her belt and slung her bow and quiver of her shoulder. She raced out of her room and ran through the halls at top speed. Cara almost ran into several people that were passing by, but she neither stopped nor slowed. Even after she reached the stables she didn't stop.

A two year old black horse, the one she had named Aidan, was the only one left in the stable and Cara couldn't understand why. He was so gentle. The magnificent creature stood still as the fourteen year old girl saddled him up. This was the first and last time any of the knights would be accompanied by Romans on a mission.

Cara struggled to get on the giant beast, but she managed and kicked the black horse into a steady lope. The black horse was gentle and his gait was smooth and swift. She was surprised that she wasn't the last one at the gate. They were still waiting for Arthur.

The knights were surprised at which horse she rode. Cara learned later on that Aidan was a fiery thing and did things his way. Then again the knights weren't surprised that Aidan liked Cara. They were both stubborn.

Arthur approached them on a large light grey horse. It almost looked white to Cara. He addressed them as equals and gave them their orders ahead of time. They were to search the village for survivors and clues to where the enemy might have gone.

The ride there wasn't very long. Maybe an hour at a steady gallop and they were they. Cara could see the smoke and smell the fire long before the village came into sight. However neither the smell nor the smoke prepared her for what she saw.

Huts were burned to the ground. Fields of what used to be grain were smoldering. And the fallen bodies of the villagers lay scattered all around. Some of the knights looked at Cara to see how well she would take it. The teenage girl simply stared. Her emotions were masked like the silent scouts'. Cara dismounted swiftly and began her search for survivors. Though she doubted she would find any.

Galahad stayed close to Cara as they searched for anyone that might have been lucky enough to survive the massacre. Galahad was only twelve and Cara didn't mind him shadowing her footsteps. The smell of the burning bodies was enough to make you sick, but Cara pressed on determined to find at least one person alive. She scanned the bodies of men and women, but all were dead.

She went to an outside part of the village. A large bundle of rags lay alone. Cara approached it cautiously and she knelt down next to it. She lifted the rags and soon realized that it wasn't just a pile of cloth. It was a young toddler.

His eyes stared blankly at Cara and the young woman broke down into silent tears. Galahad watched her sob and though he was young he did not shed a tear for the lost life. Instead he placed his hands on Cara's shoulders, silently comforting her.

"Cara…"

_**END DREAM SEQUENCE/FLASHBACK **_

"Cara!" the voice came again, shaking her awake. Cara's eyes shot open. Things were blurry for a second, but she soon blinked away the fatigue and wiped away the tears that still lingered. Lancelot loomed over her as he pushed a piece a hair away from her clammy forehead. "Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

Cara nodded. "It was just a bad dream," she said shrugging it off. Cara saw the sun peaking through the window. "What time is it?" she asked alarmed, shooting up from where she lay.

"Relax," Lancelot ordered, pushing her back down. "The sun has only been up for an hour." Cara looked back at him disapprovingly.

"You should have woken me." Lancelot stroked her cheek lovingly.

"You needed rest." Cara shook her head in disagreement. Then it dawned on her.

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked.

"Saying goodbye…"


	25. Please Don't Leave Me

_**25 – Please Don't Leave Me – P!nk**_

"What?" Cara barely chocked out. This was it? This is how it was going to end? No, he couldn't just leave. Then she realized something. This is what she had done to him. She had left him without even a goodbye. Surely he was getting back at her. Lancelot promised her he'd wait forever.

Perhaps he didn't want her anymore. Perhaps she was just too broken. Then again it could also be the fact that she had been raped. Used, ruined, and violated. No man would want her now. Her mistake of running off had led to this. It was her fault then again everything was her fault.

"Cara," he started, but the fiery woman did not let him finish.

"No!" she blurted out in protest. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you. I'm sorry for running and yelling and hurting you and I'm sorry, Lancelot," she said as tears streamed down her face. She was panicking. This wasn't happening.

"I didn't mean to make you angry, but whatever I did please, Lancelot. Please forgive me. I didn't mean it. I swear. Just please don't do this. I love you. You can't leave me you promised," she ranted Lancelot couldn't even get a word in. She was hysterical.

"You promised you would never leave me. I know it was wrong of me to run away like that and I'm sorry. It'll never happen again I promise. I need you now more than ever. Please don't leave me like this Please!" she begged. Lancelot was utterly taken aback by her ranting and raving.

"Cara, I―" Yet again Cara cut him off.

"I don't want it to end like this. Whatever I've done to make you do this it will never ever happen again. Please just stay with me. Don't leave me, please." Her tear stained face struck Lancelot in the heart. She looked so pitiful sitting there.

Her face was red and blotched. Her eyes were puffy from the endless crying. Her breaths came in short gasps as she struggled to breathe. He put a hand on her cheek comfortingly. It was wet against his palm. Cara misread the gesture and continued to sob and make excuses and apologize for things Lancelot had long forgotten.

"I need you. Don't you see that? Please I know I haven't been the nicest to you and I'm sorry, but please understand that I care about you. I don't want you to go. I love you. Please, please don't leave me." Lancelot looked at her. How was he supposed to tell her when she wouldn't stop blabbering?

"Cara, I don't―" But once again Cara didn't want to hear it and she cut him off. She would make him stay. He couldn't leave her. Not after all they had been through together. And most certainly not like this. Cara was going to stay. He was her reason for staying. She realized how much she missed the knights and the fort and Lancelot when she had left. And now when she was finally starting to think that she could be happy it was all snatched away from her.

"Please. I know I've said things, but I really didn't mean them. I know I've told you to leave me alone and that I didn't need you, but please. I do need you. I can't live without you, Please I don't want you to go," she continued. Lancelot was getting fed up, but he couldn't stop Cara. She kept going and going and he watched as her breathing quickened. She was going to make herself sick over this.

"Cara, stop before you make yourself sick," he ordered softly, but Cara couldn't stop crying and yapping. His words only seemed to make everything worse.

"I know I've yelled at you and told you to get out of my life. I've insulted you many times and I'm sorry." Now she was just going overboard. Yes she did insult him, but it was always in a teasing fashion and Lancelot had done the same to her. She was apologizing for things that no longer mattered.

"Listen, Cara," he said trying a different approached, but it didn't do any good. Cara just started crying again.

"I know there have been times when I have been just plain mean and I'm sorry, but please don't leave me. Please!" she wailed. "I'm sorry. I never meant to be nasty." Now Lancelot was confused. Cara had been far from nasty. She was the kindest woman Lancelot knew. Yes some of her jokes were ruthless, but she was still kind at heart.

"I cannot be without you. You and I," she stopped on that subject and quickly went onto another. "I'm sorry. Please, please don't leave me. Lancelot, please I'm begging you," she begged. Cara's lip quivered as she went silent for a minute. "Please!" That last word came out chocked. Cara couldn't speak anymore.

She was struggling to breathe properly and Lancelot was right beside her. He rubbed her back in small circles, offering comforting words to her. "Calm down, Cara," he soothed. "Relax. Shh." She shuddered as she tried to stop crying. Was she really that weak? Cara was ashamed of herself.

"I'm not leaving you, Cara," Lancelot said softly, in a soothing manner. Cara was still trying to breath and could get any words out, but she looked at him with questioning eyes. "That was a poor choice of words on my behalf and I'm dreadfully sorry."

A few excess tears ran down her cheeks and Lancelot quickly wiped them away with his thumb. "Shh. I'm sorry," he apologized drawing her into his broad chest. Cara's tears stained his shirt and he could feel the moisture seep into his skin.

"I love you, Cara," he admitted, "and I would never ever leave you." Lancelot didn't speak a word about what Cara had said to him. Lancelot didn't want to talk about it either. It was something private and it would be their little secret that it had happened at all.

"Then what did you mean when you said you were saying goodbye?" Cara asked. Her words were chocked and spread out, but Lancelot understood her question.


	26. Down

_**26 – Down – Jay Sean**_

"I don't understand," Cara admitted softly. She was still practically buried in Lancelot's chest. He ran his fingers through her hair as he tried to explain.

"Remember the Roman's that attack you?" he asked. Cara let a scowl appear on her red face.

"How could I forget?" she asked. Lancelot knew she remembered. Like she said, how could she forget?

"Arthur believes that were only a small part of a larger group. A villager claims to have seen their camp and we are going to investigate." Cara nodded as she tried to piece it all together.

"When do we leave?" she asked, sitting up by herself now. Lancelot was reluctant to let her go, but he respected her space. She was going to be angry with him in a moment.

"You aren't going anywhere?" he said firmly, but gently. Cara sat there shocked for a moment. Lancelot was waiting for her to start shouting insults and insisting that she was fine.

"Excuse me?" she asked, wondering if she heard him right. She couldn't have. Of course she was going. They wouldn't just leave her behind. Lancelot let out an exasperated sigh. He didn't know how else to put it.

"You aren't coming with us, Cara" he repeated, hoping she would understand this time. She did and he saw the sadness on her face disappear. Now she was angry.

"What do you mean?" Lancelot was tempted to throw his head up and look at the ceiling in annoyance. Cara sure was making this hard on him. He didn't know if she was playing around with him or if she really couldn't believe that for once she was being left behind. If she was playing, Lancelot wasn't falling for one of her tricks.

She was known for weaseling her way in and out of things. She had that sense of innocence and the childlike features when she wanted to. She was just an incredibly hard person to say no to. Lancelot especially had a hard time keeping his focus while he was arguing with her.

It was the first option. Cara wanted to go along. They had been through so much together and Cara had never missed a mission. She wasn't about to start now. There was no reason for her to stay here. What good would she do them? Cara was not being left behind. She wouldn't be. She was a knight just like the rest of them and she would accompany them.

"Cara, you are staying here," Lancelot said, hoping that this was the last time. He hated repeating things over and over, but Cara couldn't seem to get it through her head. He looked at her. For once he could read what she was thinking. She was confused and angered.

"I'm not being left behind," she stated strongly. Her eyes stared straight into Lancelot's with such fierceness. Her eyes reminded Lancelot of a wolf about to attack its prey. He had to look away due to her intense gaze.

"Cara, you aren't fit to ride," he argued. "You can't fight with a broken hand." Cara's face fell open in shock. She was being left behind because of her injuries. Well that defiantly was not going to stop her. Lancelot knew she didn't like that answer simply by looking at her.

"I can so," she responded with the same tone, "and only one finger is broken, not my whole hand. There's a difference." She sure was determined, but Lancelot wasn't budging as much as he wanted to. Cara had to stay here. It would be best for her and the other knights.

"Cara, you could barely stand up straight in the tavern and that was only for a few hours. How are you going to ride for two days?"

"I've done it before," Cara snapped. Lancelot remembered those few days after Gareth had died. She was forced to ride when she should have been resting and it almost cost her big time.

"Cara, you need to rest if you want those wounds to heal and that isn't going to happen if you're out riding and fighting." Lancelot regretted what he had to say next, but Cara might listen to him a bit better. Then again it might also bring about painful memories.

"Lancelot, all I've been doing is resting. I'm well enough to ride and I'm well enough to fight if the need arises," she said, before Lancelot spoke.

"Cara, you would be more of a hindrance than a help and you would only put the rest of us in danger," he said softly and gently. Cara was silent for a minute. "For once in your life, Cara, please listen to me and stay here." Cara sighed heavily in silent acceptance.

"When will you be back?" she asked. Lancelot smiled, but Cara didn't return the gesture.

"Two days at the very least," he replied, no longer smiling.

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself," she begged. Cara hated being left behind. She felt out of the loop. She felt like she was in the dark and had no idea if they were well or not. It frightened her slightly to think about.

"I promise," Lancelot said giving her a small kiss on the lips. For once Cara didn't protest. She left him kiss her. I want' you to promise me something in return," he said after he had pulled away from the kiss. Cara cocked her head slightly to the side.

"I don't want you following us. Promise me you won't," he said sternly. Cara hung her head. She didn't want to make that promise. That was her plan and he just ruined it. "Cara?" he asked, waiting impatiently for an answer. He didn't like how she went silent.

"I promise," she finally muttered.

"I'm serious, Cara," Lancelot warned looking at her warily. Cara glared at him angrily. That was a swift mood change.

"I promised didn't I?" she asked menacingly. "What else do you want from me?" Lancelot held his hands up in a peaceful gesture.

"Calm down, Cara," he warned. "I was only making sure."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean that. I just don't like being left behind," she confessed. Lancelot chuckled.

"Neither do I, but trust me, Cara. I would rather be left behind than put by brother's in arms in danger." Cara looked at him in understanding. The knights would be worrying about her instead of what they set out to do. At least they knew she was safe when she was at the fort. Well as safe as she could be. Besides, Vanora was there to keep her company. It couldn't be that bad.

"I wouldn't put them in danger," she supplied.

"Not intentionally," Lancelot put in. And that was true. Accidents happen and they would be more likely to occur if they had to watch Cara's back as well as their own.


	27. This Is Home

_**27 – This Is Home - Switchfoot**_

"I don't want you to go," Cara protested as she held on to Lancelot. The other knights were already mounted and ready to go. They just had to wait for Cara to let go of Lancelot.

"I'll be back in two days," he promised, as he held her tighter. After a moment he went to pull away, but Cara didn't want to let go. "Cara, let go," he ordered softly, prying her fingers off him.

"I love you," she said softly, giving him a small farewell kiss.

"And I love you," he responded sweetly. They stood there a few more moments, simply holding on to one another, neither one having the will to let go.

"While we're young, Lancelot," Arthur stated hurrying up his knight. Cara and Lancelot shared one last glance before Lancelot mounted up and followed the knights out the gate. Cara wished she were going with them. At least then she knew if they were safe.

She watched them disappear and even after they were gone she stood there. "Come on, love, "Vanora said coaxing the young woman away. "They'll be back in a couple days. You standing here ain't gonna bring 'em home any faster."

Cara nodded her head in silent agreement and followed Vanora back to the tavern. It was going to be quiet few days without the knights. Even though she had Vanora, Cara would be extremely lonely. This was a new experience for her.

The scout had never been left behind before and to watch the rest of the knights ride off without her was hard to handle. It took all the strength she had not to run to the stables and follow them. Even Aidan was unhappy. The stables would be more than half empty with the knights gone and Aidan didn't like being alone any more than Cara.

Cara followed the red head into the busy tavern. At least she had something to do until the knights returned. Vanora noticed her change in behavior. She was quiet once they entered and Vanora knew she was unhappy.

"Cheer up, deary," she coaxed as she passed Cara on one of her rounds. "The knights'll be back before ya know it." Cara sighed, but her mood didn't change. All through service, she was unhappy and looked about ready to cry.

The Irish woman caught the Sarmation looking towards the door more than once. She could almost bet that if given the chance Cara would've been out that door in less than a second and be outside the wall in less than a minute.

Then again she didn't expect any less. However, Cara wasn't working when she was staring out the door. "Cara, back to work," Vanora ordered firmly. She felt sorry for her, but she was also losing money and Cara needed to get over it.

"Sorry," she quickly apologized, going back to filling drinks. There were plenty of other wenches that worked in the tavern so Cara didn't have to sit on any Roman's lap. Instead she filtered around the noisy pub.

At last the day was over and Cara was glad about that. Though, it took her a moment to realize that she was alone for the evening. Cara wiped down the last table and met Vanora back at the bar with the last empty pitcher in her hand.

"How do you do it?" Cara asked, exasperated. She was fed up with feeling lonely and the knights had only been gone for a day. Well less than a day. Vanora looked back at her friend. She looked exactly as Lancelot had when Cara left. Those two really were meant to be together. Vanora would never say it out loud, but she believed Gareth died for a reason and that reason was because those two weren't meant to be.

"Do what?" Vanora asked, playing dumb for a few minutes. She wanted to have a conversation with Cara, not a one minute speech.

"Live with him for as long as you do. Not knowing where he is of if he's alright." Vanora smiled and put a hand on Cara's shoulder. The Sarmation woman was leaning on the counter, one hand supporting her and her broken hand sticking out in front of her. Cara was tempted to rip the bandage off, but she knew it wouldn't bode well with Dag when he returned.

"The others have taken care of my Bors for over 15 years. I trust they'll bring him home safe." Cara nodded. She knew that they looked out for one another, but sometimes things got by them and there was no way to prevent that. Plus Cara wasn't out there this time. "Don't worry, Cara, Lancelot knows how to take care of himself," she comforted.

Cara nodded in silent agreement. Vanora blew out what candles remained and followed Cara outside. The night air was cold and Cara couldn't resist looking at the sky. It was cloudy just like any other night. She longed to see the Sarmation stars again. That was one thing she missed about home.

Home. It seemed so far away now. She wondered if she would ever go back where the wind shook the barley and the rain made the wheat grow tall, where the fields of grass ran from horizon to horizon, and the stars that lit up the sky like a thousand lighting bugs. Cara mused over the thought of home as she went back to her chambers.

Her room was silent and dark. Cara was quick to light a candle. Though she was in her late twenties Cara was still afraid of the dark. No, not of the dark, but what lurked in the dark shadows. She was quick to change and climb into bed. It was cold and she hurried to pull the warm wool blankets over her. She pulled them up over her ear and blew out the candle that was stationed by her bed.

Darkness swallowed the room and Cara couldn't seem to find sleep. It just wouldn't come to her. She just kept thinking about where her brother's in arms were and if Lancelot had lied to her about the two days. He had to have been lying. He had to be. No one could track down and murder a large group of Romans in two days. Of course they did have Tristan.

Cara sighed as she rolled over trying to get comfortable. She wanted to get at least a few hours of sleep tonight. Though so far, she had a feeling that it wasn't going to happen. She was right. All through the night she tossed and turned, never actually getting more than an hour or two at a time.


	28. Dreams Are More Precious

_**28 – Dreams Are More Precious – Enya **_

_Cara waited on the wall for the knights to return. Roman guards passed her by some unconsciously shoved her out of the way. She waited for what seemed like forever, but then she saw them. The horses kicked up the dust as they came down the road. _

_She had to count the horses just to make sure they were all there. After all they were still too far away for Cara to be able to make out their faces. One, two…. Yup there were seven. As they drew closer Cara grew more and more anxious. _

_Cara followed them after they entered the fort. She bounded down the stairs, pushing past the guards and any other Roman that was in her way. She pushed her way through the crowd that had gathered to welcome them home. She had never noticed the large flock of people that gathered a few yards away. As many times as she rode in here she had never noticed how many people cared whether she or the knights returned. _

_The Sarmation woman's eye darted from knight to knight until the blue orbs settled on the curly haired man. Cara smiled brightly at the sight of Lancelot. He was home. She watched him carefully. He was looking for her. His own eyes darted through the crowd, analyzing each face in hopes of finding Cara. _

_He turned around hoping that she would be behind him. Cara chose then to make her move. She ran toward him, hoping to catch him by surprise. She caught him by surprise alright. As soon as Lancelot turned around Cara plowed into him and both of them went plummeting to the ground. _

_Cara didn't care. Lancelot however was stunned. It had taken him a few moments to figure out what happened, but once he had a grin crept upon his face. He leaned up to kiss her and she leaned her head down. Their lips were close so close._

Cara's eyes snapped open when pain shot up her hand. She had accidentally rolled onto it and now the constant throbbing kept her awake. It was still pitch black outside, telling Cara that it wasn't even close to morning. She looked at the ceiling, just staring at it blankly for the longest time. Her mind was blank. She had woken so suddenly that it took her a minute to realize that she had been dreaming.

It felt so real. His face, his touch, all of it seemed lifelike. Cara was very disappointed. She thought he was home safe and sound. Now she wasn't so sure. Her train of thought swerved to the left and was now running on crooked tracks. She didn't need this.

She didn't need the worry. She didn't need the pain. She wasn't going through that again. Perhaps it was better when she didn't love him. No. Cara forced herself to push all doubts from her mind. Lancelot loved her and she loved him. It was as simple as that. He would come back. They would be together again. After all, the mission wasn't anything different than what they had encountered before.

She rolled over hoping to get a few more hours of shut eye. Though she hated to admit it, she was exhausted and was in desperate need for rest. As soon as her eyes closed her dream picked up where it left off and Cara wouldn't have had it any other way. After all, she might as well enjoy the dream. If she couldn't physically see him right now, then she would have to settle on her mental picture of how everything should be.

_Their lips touched and Cara had never felt more complete than she had at this very moment. A warm feeling settled in her heart and Cara was happy that Lancelot was home. His soft chuckle lifted her spirit and immediately she felt full again. _

_When he had left she felt incomplete and alone. Now she felt whole again. "I missed you," she said softly, still on top of him. _

"_I missed you too," Lancelot said, as they helped one another to their feet. Bors' loud laugh brought both their attention to the other knights that simply stood staring for a moment. Most of them had never seen Cara so happy and relieved. Others were just plain surprised at her abrupt actions. _

_Cara felt self conscious under their intense gazes and she bit her lip in her nervousness. "Sorry," she apologized. That only caused another bout of laughter. This time it wasn't just Bors, but all the other knights as well. Lancelot's laugh brought Cara's attention back to him. "I'm glad I amuse you," she stated lovingly. _

"_You know," Lancelot said, twirling a stray piece of Cara's blonde hair, "there are other ways to amuse me…" He let his thought trail off and Cara got his meaning instantly, but she wasn't quite ready for that yet. It just brought the painful memories of her rape back. _

"_Yes, but I rather do this," she said, leaning up and kissing him once more. Their kiss was broken when someone smacked her ass. Cara's head whirled around. "Gawain!" she screamed in disapproval. He laughed at her reaction as did Galahad. _

"_Don't I get a welcome home?" he asked, slyly. Cara caught Lancelot's death glare. She turned to him and smiled a wicked smile. _

"_Not unless you want to keep something you value," she said simply. Gawain gulped and Cara continued. "But if you don't mind missing a few parts then I suppose I could," but she didn't get to finish. Gawain was already running away with his tail between his legs. _

_The young woman turned her attention back to the man she loved. "That was mean," he said, trying to hold back his laughter. Only Cara could send Gawain running away like that. _

"_Not nearly as mean as this," she said leaning up to kiss him again. He bent towards her and at the last second she pulled away. Lancelot looked back at her with mock hurt. _

"_You are pure evil." Cara only laughed. _

Cara awoke with a jolt. This time she didn't know what woke her, but that was one dream that she wished never had to end. Once again she was frustrated that it was just a dream.


	29. Right Here Waiting

_**29 – Right Here Waiting – Richard Marx**_

The dark sky was just beginning to turn a light shade of orange, signaling the start of a new day. Cara just lay in bed for a few minutes. She hadn't slept well last night. The dream just kept her wondering and wishing she could go back to sleep. Cara closed her eyes, but instantly opened them again.

She had to get up. It was a new day and Vanora needed help in the tavern. Just because she hardly slept didn't give her the excuse to stay in bed. There was work to be done. Cara pushed herself up on the heels of her hands and winced when she forgot about her injury. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as bad as she thought it would.

Cara rubbed her face and tried to blink away the weariness. For a moment she felt a slight adrenaline rush, but it soon passed and Cara was once again too tired to move. She needed to get motivated. The blonde woman forced herself to get up and walk to the wardrobe.

A scarlet dress stood out and Cara grabbed it. She swayed as she tried to shimmy out of her night clothes and into the dress. Cara glanced back at the bed. It seemed to be calling to her, telling her to come back to bed. For a moment, Cara actually considered it, but soon waved the thought off. She brushed her hair and when she was satisfied with her looks she left for work.

The hallway was empty and the road to the tavern wasn't as busy as usual. The carts were only just beginning to line the streets. Cara drew her cloak tighter as she walked. The air was cold and she couldn't imagine being out in it all day. The icy wind whipped around, tossing her blonde hair.

She cast a glance at the gates. There was a tiny piece of her that had expected to see her brothers returning home, but her heart fell when she realized it had only been a day. The wind whipped again and Cara couldn't resist looking at the cloudy sky. To her relief there was no sign of rain or snow.

She walked solemnly into the tavern. Vanora had already started filling pitchers and wiping down the counter and tables. Last night had been a tiring one and neither one had the strength to clean up entirely.

"Cara," Vanora greeted, somewhat cheerily. The blonde woman returned the greeting with a smile.

"Morning, Van," she said, using the woman's nickname. She grabbed a cloth from under the bar and began to wipe down the nearest table that Vanora hadn't cleaned yet. It was quiet for a moment each one simply focusing on their individual tasks.

Cara was slow at doing her job and it didn't go unnoticed by Vanora, much to Cara's dismay. "Are you feeling alright, dear," she asked, worried.

"Vanora, you sound like a mother hen," Cara laughed in a joking manner. Vanora laughed slightly, but continued to watch the younger woman. Cara was only two years younger than Vanora. Somehow, the redhead seemed to think Cara was younger that what she really was.

The woman stopped a second time when Cara was still working on her first table. Vanora knew something was up and she was going to find out what was wrong. Cara looked up at Vanora with a puzzled expression on her face. She wished Vanora wasn't so perceptive. Nothing ever got by her and Cara had a feeling she was either in for a long lecture or going to be sent back to her room for rest. Cara wasn't in favor of either option.

Looking at Vanora had been her downfall. The Irish woman saw Cara's tired bloodshot eyes and the dark circles beneath them were hard to miss. "Did you get any sleep at all?" Vanora asked, dropping the cloth onto the table and putting her hands on her hips. Cara didn't dare look away from Vanora.

"Some," she responded dryly. At least that was the truth. True, she hadn't gotten much, but she did get some.

"How much is some?" Vanora inquired. She just would let it go. Cara sighed and looked away from the woman. "Cara?" Vanora sang, seeming to remind Cara that she was still there and waiting for an answer.

"A few hours," she responded. Again her answer was too vague for Vanora and she continued to question her.

"How many?" she asked coming to stand beside her. Cara debated whether she should lie to her or tell her the truth. A lie would get Vanora off her back, but it might make Vanora think she was ill. Telling the truth would just get her into deeper trouble.

"Two or three," Cara responded truthfully. Vanora was about to say something, but Cara was quick to cut her off. "But I'm fine, Van, really," she said quickly, hoping Vanora would just let it go. She didn't. In fact she looked furious that Cara was even here.

"Cara, you need to rest. Now please go back to bed. I can manage for a few hours."

"Vanora, I really―"

"Stop," Vanora ordered sternly, holding up her hand. "You may look fine, but if you don't rest those wounds won't heal," she explained, lightly touching Cara's back. Cara lowered her head for a moment and then looked Vanora in the eyes.

"I know you're worried for me, Van, but I can manage," she reassured softly. Vanora shook her head at the Sarmation. She knew there was no getting through that thick skull of Cara's. Cara wasn't going back to bed and there was no way Vanora could force her without the knights here.

The day went by just like any other. The tavern got busy around noon late afternoon. Cara served drinks and food and of course was forced to sit on several laps, but they never lasted more than a few seconds. She wasn't the common tavern whore after all. Cara had been running around all day and finally the energy ran out.

"Cara, go home," Vanora urged, as they met one another back at the bar for refills. For once Cara didn't argue. She was exhausted and the thought of finally being able to lie down was something she just couldn't resist any longer. She nodded at Vanora signaling she was leaving. "And you get some rest tonight ya hear?" she called after her. Cara waved it off and headed back to her room.

One her way back she decided to make a quick stop at the wall. She wanted to gaze out over the land. She wanted to see if she could see the knights or any sign that they were near. She had forgotten about them until now. The tavern had been busy and Cara was too tired and too busy working to remember why the knights' familiar table was empty.

She found a suitable place and looked out at the darkened world that lay beyond the wall. The roman guards passed her as they paced the wall. Cara felt a strange sense of Déjà Vu. As if on cue she saw dark shadows coming towards the wall. Cara didn't pay attention to what the guards were yelling.

She only cared if it was the knights or simply a group of travelers. She counted the silhouettes. One, two, three….yup there were seven. Her heart lifted as the figures came closer. She recognized Tristan out in front simply because of the hawk that rested on the knight's arm. They were home. Her brothers were home at last.


	30. Just A Dream

_**30 – Just A Dream – Carrie Underwood**_

Cara raced down the stairs and into the square. She followed the small crowd of children, mostly Bors', that were running after the knights. She was just excited as they were. A large smile was evident on her brightened face. "Papa!" they screamed after him. Cara didn't say anything. She walked briskly into the second square where the knights had stopped.

The moment she saw Lancelot her heart stopped. He was practically tied to his horse and his eyes were closed. "No," Cara mouthed, unable to utter a sound. She rushed forward. Cara barely touched his cloak when rough hands gripped her biceps and a body blocked her view. "No!' she protested, as they pushed her backwards. "No!" she wailed again, as she struggled to get to Lancelot's side.

Arthur held her firmly. Cara struggled to see past him. When she moved he moved. Cara struggled against his hold. She needed to see him. He wasn't dead he couldn't be dead. Her head lolled from side to side as the tears fell. "Gawain!" Arthur called urgently. His voice wavered slightly as he tried to hang onto Cara. She was strong and the way she was twisting made it hard to hold her.

Cara didn't know why he needed another knight. He was a strong man, but then it hit her like a ton of bricks. He needed to prepare for the funeral. "No," she continued to say, trying to make herself believe that it wasn't true. Her mind told her that he was dead, but her heart refused to believe it.

Arthur practically shoved her into Gawain's waiting arms. "Get her away from here," he ordered firmly, but his voice was unintentionally harsh. Cara leaned heavily on the other knight. Her legs felt like jelly and they shook uncontrollably beneath her.

Gawain couldn't hide Lancelot from her. Dagonet lifted the limp knight over his shoulder. Arthur and the rest of the knights followed after him. Cara pulled one arm out of Gawain's grasp and tried to follow, but he held her back. "Lancelot!" she screamed after the retreating knights. No one looked back at her.

Cara felt a tug on her arm as Gawain dragged her in the opposite direction. "Come on, Cara," he soothed as he pulled her away. Cara shook her head and grabbed his arm with her free hand as she tried to free herself. She thrashed and clawed at his hands as she desperately tried to escape.

"No!" She continued to struggle against him, but Gawain only grabbed both her wrists and easily restrained the distraught young woman.

"Stop," he ordered callously. The knight instantly regretted his harshness because as soon as he yelled at her, Cara's legs gave out. Gawain still had a hold of her wrists as she sunk to the ground in anguish and defeat. "Shh," Gawain comforted. "He's going to be alright." Cara however didn't listen. She was still shaking her head in denial as she tried to kill all the hope that lingered in her heart. Gawain tried to pull her up, but she wasn't going anywhere.

Gawain couldn't just leave her there, so he scooped her up and flung her over his shoulder like a sack of grain. Cara didn't protest. She only uttered one word over and over again. "No." Her voice was soft and dead. There was no emotion.

He didn't have time to explain right now that Lancelot had been badly injured. He was alive, but it was hard to tell if he would survive. Besides, Cara was in no condition to listen. Perhaps when he got her to her room she would be better, but he doubted his own thoughts.

Cara kept muttering nonsense that Gawain couldn't understand. He set her on the bed and Cara didn't move. Gawain pulled her boots off in hopes of making her more comfortable. She just kept muttering. "Cara," he said sitting down next to her, but she didn't seem to notice his presence.

"It's just a dream. He's not dead. He can't be dead. It's just a dream," she muttered.

"Cara, Lancelot is going to be fine," he told her. He didn't know if she understood him, but he continued to speak with her. At least he was trying. There wasn't much else he could do. Cara's mind whisked her away to the first time Lancelot ever held her in his arms.

_**FLASHBACK **_

Cara sat alone on the grassy hill. She overlooked the vast land and a large part of her wanted to make a run for it. She wanted to go home, but then she realized that her home no longer existed. Her father was gone and her mother had been gone years before she was taken. Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she wouldn't let them fall.

The dark clouds that rolled in were coving the land in a dark shadow. The grass danced in the breeze and when Cara closed her eyes it almost felt as if she was home. Her eyes opened only to be met with disappointment. The tears welled up again at the thought of home.

"What are you doing up here?" A voice asked from behind her. Cara whirled her head around, but relaxed when she saw it was only Lancelot. The curly haired knight saw her tear glistened eyes, and he walked over to her slowly. Cara just turned her head back to the scene in front of her.

"Just thinking," she responded quickly, standing up and wiping away the tears in shame. Lancelot stood beside her and pushed a stray lock of hair away from her face.

"Why do you cry?" he asked. Cara cursed her weakness. How was she supposed to prove herself a knight if she couldn't keep herself from crying over the dead?

"I'm not crying," she said innocently, as if that would help. Lancelot didn't believe her.

"Stop lying and tell me. Maybe I could help," he suggested.

"You can't bring back the dead," Cara muttered under her breath. Lancelot caught her words and Cara instantly regretted saying them. Now what was he going to think of her. She was weak and she knew it, but the other knights didn't need to know. They didn't need to be bothered with her problems. There were more important things to worry about.

"You miss your father," he stated solemnly, mostly to himself. Cara said nothing. He let out a deep sigh. "I miss mine too," he confessed. Cara looked up shocked at this. "You looked shocked. You think just because I am a boy I don't miss my family?"

"No it's just…you seem so…calm." He laughed.

"So do you," he countered. Cara let out a laugh. She was far from calm. The tears fell silently and Cara couldn't figure out why she still cried. "Hey now," he soothed. "Don't cry. No man is worth your tears." Cara stopped crying, but her lip quivered. "Come here," Lancelot sighed, pulling her against him. Cara just sat there against him. What else could she do?

_**END FLASHBACK **_

"_No man is worth your tears." _The words echoed in her head long after the moment passed. How could he say that? He lied to her. He lied to her because he was worth her tears. And she cried for him.


	31. Never Say Never

_**31 – Never Say Never – The Fray**_

There was a knock on the door. Cara didn't even move. She only mumbled and shook her head once more. Seeing as she wasn't going to get it Gawain went to the door. The knocking continued and it didn't stop until Gawain opened the wooden door. He was somewhat relieved to see Arthur and he let out a sigh of relief. "How is she?" were the first words out of his mouth. Gawain only shook his head signaling it wasn't good.

Arthur pushed passed the knight and crossed the room in only a couple strides. His face was serious, but gentle as Cara turned her tear stained face to look at him. Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to stop crying.

There was a moment of silence as Arthur figured out how to approach this. "Cara, Lancelot is alive," he said solemnly, but his words were careful and were not filled with hope. Cara's heart lifted slightly and her eyes brightened with a wave of fresh tears. They were tears of relief. He was alive, but for how long? Arthur was quick to finish so her hopes wouldn't skyrocket. "But he's badly wounded."

Cara's head dropped for a moment as she processed all the information. Arthur and Gawain waited patiently. They were not expecting what they heard next. "It's my fault," she said softly. She meant to say it to herself, but Arthur and Gawain caught her words.

"Don't you dare start blaming yourself," Gawain snapped sharply. His hands were squeezing the life out of her shoulders. Cara internally winced at his unusually harsh tone. Arthur placed a calming hand on Gawain's own shoulder and Gawain released his grip on Cara.

"I have a right to," she stated calmly. Gawain was about to go off on another tangent, but Arthur stopped him.

"Cara, it isn't your fault. It's no ones fault."

"It is my fault!" she nearly screamed. "If I had been there I could've done something."

"And what would you do?" Gawain asked, challenging her with his intense gaze. Whatever she said wouldn't help or make sense.

"Anything," she shot back. Gawain was about to reply, but Arthur intervened.

"It doesn't matter now," he said softly. "What's done is done, so stop dwelling on what ifs," he ordered, looking at Cara. She had fallen silent and had dropped her gaze. Both Arthur and Gawain waited uncomplainingly for her to regain control of her emotions.

Finally she raised her head. "Can I see him?" Her voice was soft and held a hint of sadness. Arthur looked to Gawain for his opinion. The blonde knight looked from Arthur to Cara and then back to Arthur. He nodded once and that was all Cara needed.

She rose on unsteady legs. She wondered if she would be able to make it to his quarters. She forced her legs to move and by the time she reached to door she was almost jogging. Cara pulled the door open with more force than was need and she took off down the hall. Her bare feet made no sound as she ran through the endless corridors.

Gawain and Arthur easily kept up with her and they almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped in front of Lancelot's door. Her hand lingered on the knob as she debated whether or not to enter. Arthur and Gawain each put a hand on her shoulder in a comforting way, as if telling her she didn't have to see him like this. Then again she might not get another chance to see him.

Cara had gotten over Gareth because of Lancelot. There was no one to help her get over Lancelot, simply because Cara wouldn't be able to handle another tragedy. Her heart couldn't take it. Ever knight knew it, but no one had the nerve to say it. It was simple. If Lancelot died, then so would Cara.

She turned the knob slowly and entered the quiet room. Only Dagonet was inside. He turned to look at Cara and she struggled to breathe. She didn't look at Dagonet; she didn't even glance at him. Her eyes were on Lancelot and Lancelot only.

Her steps were cautious and slow as she approached the still knight. Her eyes did not waver to any other part of the room. Her legs shook beneath her as she drew closer and Cara was finding it hard to stand. He looked so pale and still. Cara had never seen him in such a state.

He was silent and that was what probably got to Cara the most. He would always be flirty and witty, even when wounded. Now there was nothing. No smart remarks. No joking. No laughter. All was still and silent. As if death itself was waiting in the wings to claim its next victim. Cara shuddered at the thought.

Cara had paled considerably when she had seen Lancelot and the three men were waiting for her to pass out. She had endured a lot over the past year and this was one problem that she might not be able to overcome if the worst was to happen. Arthur moved from behind her to across the room and Gawain went to the opposite wall.

She reached out slowly to touch his pallid face. She was within inches from touching him when she retracted her hand. She couldn't do it. She was afraid of what it would be like. She didn't want to break him or hurt him. Never before had he looked so prone and fragile lying there. She wondered if she would see his chocolate brown eyes again or hear his hearty laughter. Cara lowered her head and set a fresh silent tears fell.

No one came to comfort her. They merely watched out of the corner of their eyes. None of them wanted to offer her sympathy because that would make her even more upset. She wasn't the kind of person to comfort in a time like this. Cara had a problem of confusing sympathy with pity and she was convinced she didn't need either one. All she needed was Lancelot.

After an hour Cara had neither moved nor said a word. She stood there silent and still simply looking at Lancelot. Arthur had left to inform the other knights on his condition and Gawain had gone to drink away his worry. Only Dagonet and Cara remained by Lancelot's side at the moment.

Dagonet pushed a chair from the far wall behind Cara, hoping she would sit down, but she didn't move. In fact she didn't even look at Dagonet. Her eyes were focused on the wounded knight that lay in front of her. Dagonet sighed. He gripped her shoulders and pushed her down in the chair. Still she did not look at him.

She only sat there her knuckles were white due to her gripping the sheets so hard and her face had paled considerably. She looked about ready to faint. Dagonet didn't know how much longer she would last, but he had a pretty good idea that she wasn't going to leave Lancelot's side willingly. The knights were either going to have to drag her to bed or he would have to drug her and Dagonet didn't like either option.

Satisfied with Lancelot's condition at the moment he moved to Cara. She still had the bandage around her hand though it looked quite disgusting from having not been changed in the last few days. He grabbed it when she wasn't paying attention and Cara jumped in surprise. Much to Dagonet's surprise, Cara didn't fight him like she usually did.

Her thumb looked better than it had and Dagonet left the bandage off. He washed away the grime that had settled there and examined it closer. He bent it slightly and watched Cara's reaction, nothing. Her eyes were on Lancelot. "It'll be fine in a few days, but don't overdo it," he ordered firmly. Cara nodded silently.

It was silent for a few minutes and it wasn't the comforting kind either. Cara was having trouble keeping her thoughts in line due to the silence. Her mind was running away with her. She turned to Dagonet in an attempt to escape the fantasies of her mind.

"What happened," Cara asked softly. The words came out chocked and were so low Dagonet barely heard her. She looked about ready to start crying again which was something Dagonet didn't want to have to deal with. He breathed a sigh before beginning.

"We searched the village like we were supposed to. We all went our separate directions. Lancelot was mistaken for a Roman rebel by the only survivor. He wasn't ready for an attack. Tristan was quick, but not quick enough."

Dagonet's description was vague. It had to be. Too much detail could be a bad idea in this case. Cara's state of mind was fragile and Dagonet didn't want to upset her further. She nodded at his take on what happened. She couldn't say anything.

He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be back shortly," he said, not telling her that he was going to find a sober knight to take her to bed. He wasn't too keen on leaving her by herself, but there was no way she was going to listen to him.

Cara nodded, but she didn't look at him. Once again her eyes were on Lancelot. The moment Dagonet was no longer in the room Cara broke. The protective wall that separated fiction from reality crumbled and Cara realized that all of this was real. The tears flowed. The sobs escaped. She was alone. No one would hear or see her. That is unless Lancelot could, but she highly doubted it. She believed if he could hear her he would wake and that wasn't the case.

She let go of the sheets in her moment of hysteria. Instead she grabbed his hand tightly. She bent her head down so that half her face rested on the bed and the other half rested on his hand. Salty tears stained the sheets. Cara was so caught up in her sadness that she didn't hear the door open.

Dagonet had returned with Arthur and Bors in tow. Gawain was too drunk and Galahad was well past his limit as well. Tristan simply didn't like dealing with crying women. Cara continued to sob, unable to stop. Bors pulled her by the waist and Dagonet moved the chair. Once Cara realized she was being pulled away she held on tighter. She wasn't letting go. Not now not ever.

"No!" she protested. Her tears and sobs stopped instantly and changed into screams and shouts of protest and hateful remarks. "Let me go! Bastards!" Bors didn't say anything at first, but the moment she started to verbally lash out was the moment he put her in her place…or at least tried to.

"Now you listen here," he scolded, sticking his finger in her face. "I'm only tryin' to help ya, so don't go callin' me names ya don't mean." Cara was slightly shaken by his sudden outburst, but it did not calm her. She was still just as hysterical when he tried to pry her hand from Lancelot's. Arthur tried to separate them while Bors held her, but it was no use.

"No, I can't leave him," she cried. "I can't!" Her tear stained face brought back haunting memories to all the knights that stood before her. Her face took them back to the night of Gareth's death. The comparison between the two was all too similar and none of the knights wanted her to go through that again. Bors let her go and she fell to the floor beside his bed. "I can't leave him," she repeated, but it came out chocked due to her uncontrollable sobs.

The chair was of no importance to her. She simply balanced herself between the bed and the floor as she held onto Lancelot for dear life. Bors, Arthur, and Dagonet looked on in worry. They didn't know what to do. If Lancelot didn't get well Cara was going to waste away in grief. Right now, Dagonet was still unsure if the dark haired knight would pull through and it was that uncertainty that kept all the knights on the edge.


	32. Don't Give Up On Me

_**32 – Don't Give Up On Me – Jason Aldean **_

Cara did not sleep that night. She kept a constant vigil over her wounded lover. She had not slept and the only time she left his side was when she had to use the chamber pot. That was it. Dagonet had stayed as well, though he at least got a few hours of sleep. He told Cara that he was watching Lancelot when really he was watching her.

She was tired and that was an understatement. Dark circles made her blue eyes stand out. The shadows lingered and Dagonet could tell she needed sleep or at the very least some food. She looked drained of all energy and Dagonet knew Cara couldn't go on forever like this.

Lancelot still hadn't woken and much to Dagonet's dismay he was already showing signs of fever. Cara had been up with him all night. Whenever Dagonet woke she was still awake tending to him, but through the night she never muttered a single word. Soft sobs escaped her lips at random intervals, but that was all.

"I'm going to fetch us some food and update the others," he said softly. "I'll be back in a little while." Cara nodded signaling she heard him. The giant knight let the door close gently behind him and Cara let the tears fall.

"You can't leave me, Lancelot," she said softly, holding back sobs. "You promised you'd never leave me." His face was still pale and his lips stood out against his white skin. She couldn't control the tears. He looked like Gareth the last time she saw him. The same dark hair. The same red lips. The same pale white skin. The same silence. It shook her to the very core. Cara couldn't lose him like she lost Gareth. She was going to save him.

She lifted the white bandage off his ribs just high enough for her to see the long jagged wound that still bled. She forced herself to breath as she covered it back up. "Don't give up on me, Lancelot," she begged softly. "Not now. Not like this. I need you." She stroked his hand gently.

The door opened and Cara turned expecting to see Dagonet. Instead it was Arthur. Cara clamored to her feet in a desperate attempt to compose herself. She was tired of feeling weak and overly tired of showing it.

"Arthur," she acknowledged somewhat surprised. He looked at her warily as if she was going to break down in front of him. She shifted from one foot to another nervously under his intense gaze. Arthur quickly averted his gaze and focused on the sick knight that still lay unconscious.

"How is he?" Arthur asked, walking past Cara so he could get a better look at the wounded Lancelot. The young woman followed him and plopped down in the chair. She was exhausted, but she didn't dare complain.

"No better," she replied simply, taking Lancelot's hand in hers once more. Arthur was silent for a moment, simply analyzing the situation.

"You should go back to your room. Get some rest. I can watch him for a few hours," he offered. Though he knew exactly what Cara would say the moment the words were out of his mouth.

Cara shook her head and looked at Arthur giving him the smallest of smiles. "I'm fine," she insisted, but Arthur wasn't convinced.

"Cara, you look exhausted," Arthur observed, but Cara quickly cut him off before he could say anything else.

"Arthur, I'm fine really," she said giving another fake smile. Arthur didn't fall for it.

"I can make that request and order," he threatened.

"You forget, Arthur," she said in the same tone, "I am no longer under your command." Her eyes burned with determination and so did Arthur's. Neither one wanted to give in, but Arthur had lost the battle the moment the argument started, but he wasn't giving up that easily.

"And you forget that you live and eat free of charge because of me."

"Don't act like I owe you any favors, Arthur," Cara fumed. Their argument was no longer about Lancelot. In fact it had strayed far from what it had started out to be. Arthur was about to say something, but was cut off by a groan from Lancelot. "Lancelot?" Cara asked softly, thinking he was finally waking.

Arthur knew better. He had seen the sheet of sweat that covered his forehead. Lancelot was growing worse. Cara placed her hand gently on his forehead and instantly drew back. "He's feverish," Arthur said gravely. Cara looked from Lancelot to Arthur and then back to Lancelot.

She brought Lancelot's hand up to her face and rubbed it along her cheek. "Don't you give up on me, Lancelot. Don't you dare." Arthur placed a gently hand on her shoulder. "I'm not giving up on you, so don't you dare give up on me."

The door opened once more and both Cara and Arthur looked to see who it was. Dagonet was back with a tray of food in his left hand. He set it on the dresser. He didn't have to ask how Lancelot fared. He heard his feverish moans and grunts. Cara made no notion of leaving Lancelot's side.

Arthur looked at the tray of food then back at Cara. She was too busy patting Lancelot's brow with a wet cloth that Dagonet had given her. Arthur crossed the room to the dresser and picked up an apple from the pewter tray for Cara. He held it out for her to take, but she was too busy to notice.

"Here," he said, trying to get her attention. Cara glanced at Arthur and then at the green apple in his hand. She turned her attention back to Lancelot. She couldn't think about food right now.

"I'm not hungry," she said simply. Dipping the cloth back in the basin and ringing out the excess water, she placed it on Lancelot's sweaty brow once more. Dagonet looked up from Lancelot's wound the moment the words were out of Cara's mouth.

"You need to eat, Cara," Dagonet ordered sternly. He didn't want Cara going back to her old ways. She had lost a lot of weight when Gareth had died and he didn't want that to happen again. "You need to keep your strength up, for Lancelot's sake." That last part struck a chord with Cara.

She stopped tending to Lancelot, but it was only for a moment. "You two need to stop worrying about me," she said softly, giving them both that same fake small smile. "I'll be alright, really," she reassured lightly, but like before neither one was convinced. Cara was gonna worry herself sick and neither one wanted to see that happen. Cara was their sister. It was their sworn duty to protect her and so far they were far from succeeding.


	33. Tonight I Wanna Cry

_**33 – Tonight I Wanna Cry – Keith Urban**_

Night had fallen and the knights had filtered in and out of the room all day, but none of them stayed any longer than an hour. Bors had come by and Cara couldn't look him in the eye. She was still upset with the way she acted towards him, but Bors didn't seem affected.

Galahad and Gawain came in and kept her company while Dagonet left to get some rest, but hardly any words were exchanged. Cara had never seen their faces so serious and withdrawn. They had insisted that Cara go back to her own room and get some rest. Like all the other times, Cara gave them a smile and declined.

Then there was Tristan. He didn't speak while he was there and when he was satisfied that there was no change in his brother knight, he left. Cara didn't expect any less from him. He wasn't one to sit around and watch things happen. Cara would almost bet that he would be going out to scout the surrounding area. He didn't drink away his pain like the others. Instead he preferred the solitude that nature offered.

At last there was Arthur. He came more often than the other knights. His concern for his best friend was hidden well so that he wouldn't upset Cara, but Cara saw right through his charade. Arthur urged her to eat and to get some rest, but Cara simply gave him the famous answer, "I'm fine." He shook his head at her stubbornness. The last time she was this stubborn it almost got her killed.

Dagonet had returned after a few hours and Arthur left, giving Cara's shoulder one last reassuring squeeze. Cara was never left alone. Someone was almost always with her and when she was alone it wasn't for more than an hour.

Cara was dozing off here and there, but the moment her head bobbed down it would snap back up and she would be awake and alert for a few seconds before the process started over again. She struggled to stay awake, but not sleeping for a few nights was beginning to take its toll.

Dagonet was watching her warily. She hadn't eaten anything in over a day and she took maybe a few sips of the water, but that was all. Vanora had given her more than one verbal lashing, but Cara didn't pay her or anyone else any heed. The only thing she cared about right now was Lancelot.

Cara's head drooped for the last time in her opinion. She grabbed a cloth and dipped it in basin of icy water. Once again she attempted to get his fever down. Dagonet watched her warily. He watched as Cara splashed some of the water on her own face in a desperate attempt to wake up. She couldn't sleep yet.

Again she wet Lancelot's brow. Dagonet had since moved to stand beside Lancelot. "His fever's getting worse," Cara said softly. Dagonet could sense the weariness in her voice. Dagonet examined the wound and cursed under his breath when he saw the wound. "What?" Cara asked fearfully, looking up at Dagonet. Dagonet pulled the bandage from the wound and Cara caught sight of it. The wound was unhealthy looking and Cara knew it was infected.

Fear welled up inside her heart. Some of her brothers in arms had died of infection and Cara had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. "I need to fetch one of the other knights. Will you be alright alone?" Cara nodded. She wasn't a child.

Dagonet rushed out of the room as soon as she signaled that she would be fine. It must be bad. She had never seen Dagonet so worried. It was unnerving for Cara. "Cara," Lancelot breathed. Cara snapped out of her thoughts. Did she dream that or did he just say her name.

"Lancelot?" she asked softly, leaning towards him and grabbing his hand. Nothing. All was still and silent. She must have imagined it.

"Cara," he repeated. This time Cara was sure she wasn't hearing things. He did say her name. The only questioned that remained was whether he was delirious or if he actually had some idea of what was going on.

"I'm right here," she soothed, stroking his feverish forehead. "I'm here." She gripped his hand tighter, but his head lolled to the side. "Lancelot?" she chocked, thinking that he had given up on her. Shaky fingers touched the base of his jaw and her heart relaxed when she felt his pulse beat beneath her fingertips.

The door opened and Arthur and Tristan, being the only sober ones, stepped inside. Both sets of eyes went to Cara. They could see the worry etched in her features. Arthur was the first to look away and turned to Lancelot. "How long has he been like this?" he asked the gentle giant.

"A few hours," Cara responded softly. The knights were all equally surprised that she had been the one to respond. Dagonet worked quickly and efficiently to clean the wound. He practically threw the bloody rags back into the basin and when they were drenched he would apply them to the wound once more. Lancelot groaned suddenly, but that was the only response.

"I'm sorry, my friend," Dagonet mumbled. Cara simply sat beside him, holding onto him for dear life. She felt as though she would lose him if she let go. The once clean basin of water was now stained red with Lancelot's blood.

The gentle knight took one of Tristan's daggers and heated it over the fire that was lit in the fireplace across the room. "I need you two to hold him," he said. That was Arthur and Tristan's queue to step forward. Arthur pushed Cara away gently.

"Stay back," he ordered firmly. Cara didn't like being pushed out of the way and she held back the urge to push Arthur. She knew he was only trying to help. Dagonet came forward and Cara watched the hot blade come closer and closer to the festering wound.

The next few seconds seemed to pass in slow motion for Cara. The minute the blade touched the inflamed skin was the minute Lancelot's eyes shot open. Her sapphire eyes locked with Lancelot's copper ones and Cara's world suddenly went dark.


	34. You Redeem Me

_**34 – You Redeem Me – Ace Young**_

"Will she be alright?" The voice swirled around her as she tried to break through the fog. It wasn't strange. She recognized the owner of the voice as Arthur.

"She'll be fine." Good ol' Dagonet. "Everything's finally caught up with her." Cara was confused for a moment. Then she remembered and that was enough to bring her back to consciousness.

"Lancelot!" she cried, sitting up suddenly. Cara felt the hard wood floor beneath her. So she hadn't been out that long.

"Shh, he's alright," Dagonet soothed, but Cara had turned her gaze to Lancelot. His eyes were closed now and he seemed to be resting peacefully. Cara pushed herself off the floor and Arthur gave her a hand. Cara saw Tristan leaning against the far wall out of the corner of her eye. She moved to go back to Lancelot, but Arthur wouldn't let her go.

Cara looked up at him questionably. "Go get some rest," he ordered. "Lancelot is fine." Cara dropped her gaze and stood there for a moment. She finally shook her head and tried to pull her arm out of his grasp once more. Still Arthur did not let go. "It wasn't a request," he stated, pushing her toward Tristan.

"Take her back to her room and make sure she stays there," he ordered as Tristan grabbed a hold of her.

"No!" Cara protested angrily, as she spun her arm free of Tristan's firm grasp. The look in her eyes was deadly determination. "I'm fine." Her usual phrase wasn't soft or quiet and it definitely didn't have any humor to it. In, fact it was quite the opposite. The fury in her voice was enough for everyone there to want to get the hell away from her, but they stood their ground.

Cara's ocean blue eyes bored into their very souls for a few more minutes before she returned to Lancelot's side and held his hand once more. Arthur grabbed a hunk of bread off the food tray and held it out for Cara to take. "I'm not hungry," she said simply looking at the bread and then to Arthur.

"You can either eat this or I will have Tristan escort you to your room and you will remain there until I see fit for you to leave." Cara looked at Arthur and then towards the bread that sat idly in his palm. She didn't have much choice. She snatched it out of his hand, but only took small bites.

As she ate she realized how hungry she was and she was quick to grab a piece of fruit as well. However, it fell out of her hand and onto the floor when Lancelot gripped her hand. His eyes opened slowly and a groan escaped his lips.

"Hey," she said softly. Lancelot looked confused, but things seemed to fall into place and his eyes that were once full of unknowing turned to ones full of recognition. He seemed to be scrutinizing her, analyzing her.

"You look terrible," he said. Cara almost laughed at his observant comment.

"You don't looked much better," she returned. Arthur stepped beside Cara.

"Arthur," he acknowledged.

"It's good to see you awake, my friend," he responded. Arthur then turned to Cara who seemed a bit brighter since Lancelot had woken. "You need to go get some rest," he commanded.

"No I don't," she retorted, brushing his order off like it was nothing. Arthur's eyes narrowed.

"Cara…"

"I told you I'm fine," she snapped. Lancelot gripped her hand tighter.

"Cara, go get some sleep. I'll be fine," Lancelot interrupted gently. Cara glanced between Arthur and Lancelot. Finally, she nodded and got up from where she was sitting.

"I'll be back," she said softly, kissing his forehead. Lancelot chuckled and Cara gave him the smallest smile. Tristan followed her silently out the door.

She was tired and Cara was actually looking forward to getting to her room though she hated leaving Lancelot alone. She made herself feel better by telling herself that Lancelot would probably be sleeping soon anyway and that she really wouldn't be missing much. She was there when he woke and that was all that mattered to her right now.

She took a few more steps when she realized Tristan was following her. His footsteps were silent, but Cara felt as if they were the loudest on earth. It was unnerving to say the very least. "You don't have to follow me you know," she said, turning her head slightly. Tristan didn't respond he simply continued to follow her. Cara picked up her pace and so did Tristan. "Tristan, seriously I know where my room is and I'm not going to fall over," she shouted.

It seemed she had done something to piss off Karma because the moment the words were uttered from her lips, she swayed. Tristan let the smallest of smiles show and Cara only scowled as she continued to storm off to her room. The silent scout followed her all the way to her room and he didn't leave until she was safely inside.

Cara flopped down on the bed. She was tempted to run back to Lancelot's room, but she knew that it wouldn't bode will with Arthur and she didn't want to stress out Lancelot. Cara slipped under the covers. A little nap wouldn't hurt her. After all she had nowhere to go and no place to be.

She closed her eyes, but surprisingly sleep wouldn't come to her. She tried everything, but as tired as her body was her mind was running a mile a minute. She opened her eyes and laid there for a few minutes simply trying to organize her thoughts.

The door creaked open and Cara closed her eyes as she pretended to be asleep. The footfalls on the hard wood floor came closer and closer. Hands pushed locks of hair away from her 'sleeping' face. "She's asleep," Gawain observed.

"Should we wake her?" Galahad asked. Of course he would ask. _'Stupid pup,' _Cara thought.

"No, we'll tell her when she wakes," Gawain answered. She heard them leave and as soon as the door closed her eyes snapped open. Only one thought ran through her mind. What happened now?


	35. I Will Not Bow

_**35 – I Will Not Bow – Breaking Benjamin **_

Cara awoke late the next day. The sun was already high in the sky and the birds were already singing their sweet melodies. Cara bolted upright when she saw how late it was. Surprisingly she felt refreshed and ready for the day. It had been a while since she felt this good. She dressed quickly and practically ran out of her room and into the open air.

She walked briskly toward Lancelot's room, but was quickly cut off by Arthur. "We need to talk," he said seriously. Cara wanted to see Lancelot, but the tone he used told her that it was serious and couldn't wait.

"About what?" she asked, wanting to get this discussion over as quickly as possible.

"You," he said seriously. Cara cocked her head to the side before shaking it vigorously. She wanted to go see Lancelot. He was far more important. Plus she wasn't in the mood for this conversation and quite frankly she didn't want to have it with Arthur.

"Really Arthur now is not the time," she said shrugging him off and trying to get past him. He gripped her shoulders and held her an arm's length away. Cara let out an annoyed sigh and folded her arms across her chest

"Cara, it's important, now come on." He pushed her in front of him and guided her towards the hall. His hand rested on the small of her back. Cara sighed heavily in annoyance as she sat down beside Arthur at the round table. The large room was silent and still.

"What do you want from me?" she asked, making herself comfortable.

"Information," he answered. Cara waited for him to continue, but he didn't say anymore.

"You need to give me more than that, Arthur," she snapped. "I'm not a mind reader." Cara was losing what little patients she had. Arthur seemed to be avoiding the subject he wanted to question her about and she son found out why.

"The men that captured you," he started and Cara's eyes seemed to darken and she lowered her gaze. "I need to know…do you have any idea what they were after." Cara did not want to talk about this. They were after Arthur and his riches, but they ended up taking something that Cara wished not to discuss.

"You," she answered simply. Her voice had fallen severely and Arthur could sense something was wrong. Arthur took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.

"I need you to be honest. We will be riding out in four days and I need to know what to expect." Cara turned away from him.

"Four days?!" she asked alarmed. Cara was angry. She wanted to ride out tomorrow. He wanted to wait four days before they even set out and then it could take them a few days to actually find them. Cara could only imagine how many innocent people would be killed before they even left the fort.

Arthur nodded. "You need to get your strength up. Lancelot is staying behind and I can't afford to leave two of my knights behind." Lancelot wouldn't be happy, but Cara saw it as revenge for leaving her behind the first time.

"I'm ready to leave now," she argued, standing up for emphasis. Arthur grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back down into the chair.

"No you're not," Arthur replied. Cara's eyes became angered and Arthur hurried to ease her mind. "You look terrible. You need to eat and sleep and build your strength back up. She was about to protest, but once again Arthur stopped her. "You would tire faster in battle and I cannot risk almost losing you again."

"You didn't almost lose me," she protested softly. She didn't like feeling so important. Arthur looked at her skeptically and she only looked back at him.

"Cara, I'm just worried for your safety," he reassured. Cara's head shot up. That was another thing Cara was growing tired of. She was a grown woman. She could take care of herself.

"Don't be," she snapped. "I am capable of taking care of myself. I don't need you worrying over me." Arthur shook his head.

"I worry for you because I worry for Lancelot. If something were to happen to you I would lose both of you."

"Arthur," she started, but her commander cut her off quickly.

"Don't even start, Cara," he ordered. "We leave in four days whether you like it or not."

"And what about all the innocent people that will die before we can kill the bastards," she asked loudly. Her temper was flaring and Arthur was not in the mood for a fight.

"I have to worry about my knights before I can worry about the villagers. Without you I cannot save them," he explained calmly, but Cara took his meaning a different way. It was her fault they were waiting four days.

"Do not try and pin this on me," she spat angrily. Arthur put his head in his hands. This was harder than it started out to be.

"That's not what I meant," he replied. Cara folded her arms across her chest. The anger was still evident in her eyes and Cara looked quite pissed off. Arthur deliberated for a minute. "We ride out tomorrow afternoon. I expect you to get a good night's rest tonight." Cara nodded and stood up, making for the door. "Cara," he called, she turned around. Arthur was still seated. 'We aren't finished."

Cara reluctantly walked back to him and sat down in front of Arthur once more. "I need to know what to expect." Cara let out a sigh, before beginning.

"They are willing to do anything and everything to get what they want. Do not underestimate them. They know how you think so there is one disadvantage already." She fell silent. Arthur simply sat there pondering all that she had said. "Will that be all?" she asked, standing up.

Arthur nodded and Cara moved to leave, but Arthur's calm collected voice stopped her. "Cara, what did they do?" Her hand was on the door handle. She had the option of running, but that would only make her look like the coward that she was. She breathed a deep sigh, before turning her bright blue eyes to Arthur.

"They took something that was not theirs." With that, she left and Arthur wondered for a moment what she had meant. At first he only though she was upset because they took her, then reality sunk in and Arthur felt horrible for the way he had treated her.

Cara wiped away a tear as she closed the door behind her. Cara couldn't break down now. She was stronger than that. Those disgusting bastards were not worth crying about. She took a deep breath, wiped away any stray tears she might have missed, and continued on her way to Lancelot's room.


	36. All At Once

_**36 – All At Once – The Fray **_

Lancelot was sitting up when she entered and his face lit up slightly when he saw her. To Cara, the knight looked bored sitting there alone and Cara couldn't blame him. "Feeling better?" she asked lightly, coming to sit on the edge. He chuckled.

"Much better now that you're here," he remarked, stroking her cheek. Cara smiled slightly. He twisted a strand of her hair playfully.

"I'm not that special," she responded. Again he chuckled, but did not say anything in return. Now that he was well and not near death, Cara found it hard not to stare at his chest. He had muscle in all the right places and she could see a small part of his heavily muscled abs that peeked out from underneath the blood stained bandage.

Cara sighed and grabbed the roll of bandages and salve that Dagonet had left. She grabbed a cloth and dipped in the basin of lukewarm water that sat on the desk. She could feel Lancelot's eyes on her and she felt a nervous feeling travel down her spine.

He never took his eyes off her. She resumed her position on the bed and began to unwrap the old bandage. He watched her skilled hands move quickly and efficiently. "You don't have to do this you know," he said, softly. He didn't like Cara fussing over him. She had done that enough the past few days.

She looked up as she threw the dirty bandage aside. "It needs tending," she replied simply, wiping away the dried blood. Lancelot was surprised at her tenderness. Her hands were calloused, just as his, but they were gentle.

"Do you kill your enemies with this gentle touch," he asked, curiously. Cara smiled and laughed softly.

"Maybe, you'll never know," she joked, letting him wonder. "Lean back," she ordered firmly, pressing him against the bed. Lancelot obeyed. She touched the gash gently and Lancelot winced. "Sorry," she apologized. Lancelot waved it off. She took a small amount of the salve on her fingertips and pressed it to the wound. This time Lancelot groaned and let out a curse under his breath. "I'm sorry," Cara apologized once more.

"Stop apologizing, Cara. It's not your fault," Lancelot chided. Cara bit her lip as she held her tongue. Lancelot lifted her chin gently, so that he could meet her gaze. She gave him a small smile and continued to rewrap his wound. Once she was satisfied that he wasn't going to bleed all over the place she cleaned up her mess and headed for the door.

"Cara," Lancelot's voice stopped her as soon as she was about ready to step outside. Cara took a deep breath and turned around to face him. He wasn't looking at her and Cara got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, a very bad feeling.

"Yes?" she responded, her voice shaking slightly, but thankfully Lancelot didn't seem to notice. He turned to face her and Cara knew in that instant what was coming.

"When were you planning on telling me about you and the others running off to find the rouges?" Cara closed the door and walked slowly over to him.

"You know?" she asked. Lancelot nodded.

"Aye, Arthur told me this morning. You ride out in four days." Cara bit her lips. Apparently, Arthur had spoken with him before he had spoken with Cara. The young woman shook her head.

"I spoke with Arthur a moment ago," she replied. "I convinced him to leave tomorrow." Lancelot's emotions ranged. First he was confused. Then he was angry. And finally, everything turned to worry. He shot up from where he had reclined and Cara steadied him. "Don't be doing that," she scolded, but Lancelot didn't listen to her.

"Are you stupid, Cara?" he asked. He had reach in order to grab her fair face and force her to look him in the eyes.

"No," she answered angrily. Lancelot was just as furious. The whole point of leaving in four days was so that she would have time to rest. She still looked exhausted. Lancelot didn't want her going out like that and he couldn't believe that Arthur would agree to such a thing.

"Then tell me you're logic behind leaving tomorrow. Do you want to get yourself killed? Do you want to die?" he asked. His voice was raised, but not yet to the point of shouting.

"I'm not going to die, Lancelot," she snapped. "Do you have such little faith in me?"

"No I have little faith in your common sense," he retorted. Cara huffed angrily. "You look exhausted, Cara. You can't honestly believe you could win a fight in your state." Cara glared at him. Her furious blue eyes bore into his very soul and tore him apart.

"My 'state' is perfectly fine," she answered sharply. There was no point in hiding the venom that spiked her voice. Lancelot wasn't going to win this one. He had only dug himself deeper. The only way out was through Cara's heart and it was easier to get to than he originally thought.

He gave a deep, annoyed sigh. "I'm sorry," he apologized quietly. Cara lowered her head and looked away from him for a moment. "I'm just worried about you. I don't like you going off by yourself." Cara turned her gaze back to him. Surprisingly, it had softened considerably.

"I won't be by myself," she reminded. "The other knights and Arthur will be with me. Besides, now you know how I felt when you left me behind." Lancelot nodded, but then began shaking his head.

"I still don't like it." Cara placed a hand behind his head, drawing him closer to her.

"I'll be fine," she reassured. Lancelot gave her a small kiss and leaned closer to her despite the throbbing pain it caused.

"You promise me one thing, Cara," he ordered. The young woman nodded. "I want you to promise me you won't do anything stupid or rash, that you will look out for yourself first and the others second and most importantly that you will come home safe and all in one piece."

Cara nodded, solemnly, but didn't move to say anything. She was thinking. How could she promise him all those things? First of all she never thought she did anything foolish or rash. She always thought she was doing the right thing. It was hard to promise something like that.

Another thing was looking out for herself before the other knights. That was something she couldn't do. She was a scout and it was her job to put others first. She couldn't let any harm come to them and she knew that Lancelot knew that as well. She figured he also knew that Cara couldn't agree to a term such as that.

Lastly, was her coming home safe and in one piece. She would try and really hoped to fulfill at least one of the promises. However, when you go into battle, it's hard to tell who will come out on top and at what cost. "Cara, promise me," Lancelot ordered, reminding the young woman that he was still waiting for her promise.

Cara took a deep breath. She didn't know if she could do this. Would he even believe her? She didn't know. Lancelot was very observant these days. She had to be convincing. She closed her eyes and when she opened them about half a second later she found it easier to promise him something that she would never be able to keep.

She looked deep into his eyes. "I promise." Cara lied to him. Lancelot seemed to accept her words and for that Cara was grateful. It must have been a rather convincing lie, because Lancelot gave her one last kiss, before Cara decided it was time for her to take her leave. Cara arose from where she sat, and gave Lancelot's hand one last squeeze before heading towards the door. She turned around to see Lancelot's eyes still one her. The young woman gave him one last smile, before closing the door gently behind her.


	37. Ever The Same

_**37 – Ever The Same – Rob Thomas**_

The next morning dawned earlier than Cara had expected it to. She was dressed in record timing. Cara had already packed everything she would need for the journey the night before, so all she had to do was grab everything and head to the stables where the others would be waiting. She flung her pack over her shoulder and strapped her weapons on.

Cara was one of the last ones in the stable and it was surprising that the only one they were waiting on was Arthur. The horses were tack and ready and Aidan was getting antsy. He hadn't been out in a while and he was looking forward to a nice long run.

They led the horses out and Bors was kind enough to drag Arthur's out. That way they would be ready to go when he arrived. Cara simply stroked Aidan's forehead as she waited for her commander. Then she saw him, but he wasn't alone. Guinevere was on his left and she was surprised to see that Lancelot was on his right.

He was going to kill himself. Then again Cara couldn't complain about Lancelot. She acted the same way and she was sure Lancelot would bring it up if an argument erupted. She chose to keep her mouth shut and waited for the stubborn man to reach her.

He didn't seem to be in too much pain, which was a good thing, but Cara didn't want to give him too much encouragement. He still needed rest and she didn't want him getting any ideas about going with them. He was staying home and that was one argument Cara would win.

He was in front of her now, looking down at her. He wrapped his strong arms protectively around her waist and Cara held on to his neck. "Be careful," he warned, softly.

"Always am," she responded slyly. She didn't want to hurt him and only hugged him lightly, but Lancelot gripped her tighter. He didn't seem to care if it hurt. All he wanted was to hold her close before she left.

It felt like hours, but it was only for a few minutes. Cara didn't want the moment to end and neither did Lancelot. They were quite content and they would have stayed like that had there not been a job to do. "Don't forget what I told you," he whispered in her ear. He pulled her closer.

"I won't," she responded, leaning against him. If it was possible they drew even closer. Lancelot didn't know if he could let her go and Cara didn't know if she could go. Not knowing if she was going to come back. It was hard to predict the future of the battle, but she hoped that fate would be on her side for once. Cara had someone to come home to and that was all the inspiration she needed.

"Come home safe," he said softly. Cara felt the tears start to spring in her eyes. He was going make her cry if he kept this up any longer. Cara blinked away the tears. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't.

"I'll try," she responded, but that wasn't what Lancelot wanted to hear. He pulled away from her and gripped her face in his hands, forcing her to lock eyes with him.

"I want you to promise me," he ordered. Cara was going to cry. She could feel it coming, but she held the tears back. She was stronger than that. "Promise me," Lancelot begged, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"I promise." Once again she found herself in his tight embrace. "I love you," she said into his shoulder. I came out mumbled, but Lancelot understood her. He rested his own head on top of hers.

"I love you too," he responded, with as much love and devotion in his words that Cara had. They knew they couldn't stay like that forever, but for those few moments there was no one watching them. There was no one waiting. It was just them. Arthur's voice soon broke them apart.

"Cara, we have to go," Arthur reminded from atop his horse. His voice was sympathetic and understanding, but it also had certain firmness about it. He wanted to get started and he couldn't wait for Cara and Lancelot to finish saying goodbye. That could last an eternity and they couldn't wait that long. Just yesterday Cara was complaining about leaving so late and now she couldn't let go.

Cara looked at her commander. Her blue eyes locking with his green ones for just a moment, begging for just a few more minutes. That's all she seemed to ask for. "You have five minutes," he said, answering her silent plea. Cara nodded and turned back to Lancelot.

He held her at arm's length now. Both were afraid that they wouldn't be able to let go otherwise. Cara never thought she would meet someone like this after Gareth had died. Now she knew she was wrong. Lancelot was her reason for being. He meant so much to her and Cara had no idea if she would see him again.

Lancelot seemed to feel the same way because he held onto her for dear life. He didn't want to let her go. If he was going with her that would be a different matter entirely, but he wasn't. He was letting her go and he prayed to every god he knew that she would come back safe. He needed her and she needed him.

"Cara," Arthur reminded. She turned to him and then back to Lancelot. Their eyes met and locked neither one having the will to look away.

"I'll be home soon," she said, giving him one last hug. She pulled away, finally having the strength to leave, but his hand caught her elbow, and he spun her around. Their lips met and Cara was left speechless. The moment only lasted a second, but it was enough.

They pulled away at the same time and their eyes remained on one another. "Be safe," he said softly, clasping her shoulder. Cara smiled.

"I'll be fine," she said with a smirk. He let out a light chuckle and Cara turned away. His hand trailed down her arm and finally grasped her hand. With one final step they were separated and Cara walked slowly toward the jet black horse that waited for her.

She mounted smoothly and one she was seated her eyes locked with Lancelot's. She was going to start crying if she didn't get out there soon. Arthur didn't waste time and he and the other knights kicked the horses into a gallop. Cara's reaction was delayed about a half a second as she tore her eyes away from the man she loved and turned her attention to the road ahead.

Lancelot watched her leave. Her figure got smaller and smaller as she got further and further away and he didn't leave until she was long gone and the gates closed, blocking his view. He turned his head skyward and hoped that she returned safely. He wanted to spend forever with her, ever the same.


	38. Over My Head

_**38 – Over My Head – The Fray **_

Cara rode silently behind the knights like she usually did, but the trip seemed oddly quiet. There was no bantering for a change. The silence was eerily peaceful. Without Lancelot, the journey would be a boring one if this kept up any longer.

The horses plodded along and the only sound was the sloshing sound their hooves made as they sunk into the mud. Britain was being her cruel and usual self. The rain had started not even an hour into their journey and it showed no signs of slowing down. In fact, it only seemed to get heavier.

Then the complaining started. "Damn Island," Gawain cursed. "Arthur, do you even know where we're going?" he asked. All of the knights were eager to hear the answer to that one. Even Cara had no idea where they were heading and quite honestly neither did Tristan.

"Their camp is ten miles from here," he answered.

"And how do you figure that?" Galahad asked; his voice sharp. Apparently the dreary weather wasn't helping him either.

"I've been looking over the maps and I think I found where they are hiding," he answered, not bothering to comment on Galahad's callousness. Cara kicked Aidan into a trot to catch up and stopped when she was beside Arthur.

"Wait, think?" She wasn't happy about leaving Lancelot to go on a wild goose chase. Arthur seemed to sense her discomfort and tried to reassure her.

"Almost positive," he reworded. Cara wasn't convinced. She was giving him a death glare and Arthur was trying to ignore her. When he couldn't ignore her any longer he did what any man would do. He kicked his horse into a faster gait. In other words he ran before things got heated.

Bors gave her a slap on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Cara. He knows what he's doing." Cara gave him a skeptical look and almost laughed out of disbelief. Bors laughed heartily.

Dagonet had to reassure her due to Bors sudden outburst. "Don't fret, Cara. Arthur knows where they are." Cara nodded in mock acceptance and let herself fall behind the knights once more.

The day went on and at last it was time to settle in for the night. There was no need to push the horses. According to Arthur there was plenty of time. Cara couldn't disagree more. She wanted to get this mission done and over with and get back to Lancelot.

Tristan had found a clearing that was heavily shielded from the rain due to the thick canopy. The knights dismounted, all except Cara and Tristan. "I'll be back with dinner in no time, boys," she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yea let's see if you can actually hit something," Bors commented, "unlike Galahad here." He gave the youngest knight a slap on the back in jest and Cara could only laugh.

"Tristan," Arthur asked, seeing that the scout was still mounted, "you going with her?" The scout said nothing. He simply gave a swift nod and pushed his horse past the knights.

"Guess that's my queue to leave. Boys," she said, giving them a small salute before following the silent scout. It didn't take her long to catch up to him. He was slow when he wasn't in a hurry. Cara still had a small smile on her face, having forgotten what she left behind for a few minutes.

They rode a few more minutes in silence, scouting as they went. Cara saw movement in the trees and halted Aidan abruptly. Tristan followed her lead. Cara had an arrow notched and it was trained on the heart of the buck that stood feeding in the thicket.

She had it trained on the animal's heart and Tristan had an arrow notched as well, just in case she missed. She would've glared at him, had she not been focused on the kill. Did he really have that little faith in her aim?

Cara let the arrow fly, but the moment she released the arrow her hand flared with pain and she dropped her bow. Tristan lowered his bow. The young woman had hit her target with grand precision, but it had cost her.

She had her hand cradled against her chest and a pained expression crossed her face. Tristan simply waited for her. Apparently, it wasn't as healed as she thought it was. At last the pain passed and she breathed a in a deep breath. She did not meet Tristan's stern and cautious gaze. He masked his worry well. She went to retrieve her prize, but Tristan caught her before she made it two inches.

His hand shot out like an arrow from a bow and constricted tightly around her arm like a serpent. She sent him a warning glare, but he ignored it. "It's bothering you." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" There was the question.

"Because it's fine," she lied, trying to pull away from his death like grip. He wouldn't let go and Cara had a feeling he would stand here all night like this unless she gave him a straight answer.

"You lie," he seethed, grabbing her hand roughly to induce pain. He did it to try and make her see that she had a problem, not to hurt her. She winced, but that was all. She spun her arm out of his grasp and gave him one of the deadliest glares she could muster. Neither one said a word.

Tristan followed her as she went to retrieve the buck. She grabbed her arrow and he heaved the dead deer over his shoulders and through it over the back of his horse. She mounted up and both headed back to camp in silence.

There was a roaring fire when they returned and Bors greeted them eagerly when he saw the carcass. Bors had thought Tristan had shot it, but he instantly turned the credit over to Cara and went to tend his horse and hawk. Neither scout was in the mood to speak to one another, but no one seemed to notice. That was one thing Cara was thankful for.

After the meal the knights settled down one by one until it was only Arthur and Cara left. Cara was staring at the flames and watching her commander. He seemed to be deep in thought and poke the fire with a large branch.

"Something on your mind?" she asked softly. He voice low so not to wake the other knights. Arthur looked up from the fire.

"Just thinking," he responded, turning back to the flickering flames. Cara lowered her head and stared at glowing fire as well.

"Anything I can help with?" Arthur shook his head.

"No." Cara knew well enough not to press Arthur when he was thinking, especially in times like these. He was stressing and Cara could understand why. Every knight's life was in his hands. One wrong move could be deadly and Arthur was not will to take that risk. Each and every move had to be thought out carefully.

"Just remember that I'm here if you need me," she reminded, leaving him room to ask for help, though she knew he wouldn't. She offered nonetheless and settled down for the night. It wasn't long before she fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.


	39. Breaking Inside

_**39 – Breaking Inside – Shinedown **_

Cara was the first one up the next morning and she set out early on her morning rounds. Oddly enough, no birds were singing and the forest was silent. Her senses heightened and her eyes shot in all directions. This was a forest in the fall. Birds should've been chirping and the leaves should be blowing, but all was still.

She heard the sound of leaves cracking beneath footsteps and her head whirled towards the sound. Tristan's grey stepped out of the brush and Cara's hand moved from her sword to her chest in relief. He stopped when the horse stood beside her. "Do you have to do that?" she asked, still recovering from the scare. The smallest of smiles was on his face.

"You should let that heal," he said motioning towards her right hand. Cara followed his gaze and then looked him in the eye.

"And when a rebel comes up to me and wants to skew me like a pig what do you want me to say? 'Oh I'm sorry I hurt my hand, please don't kill me'," she mocked. Tristan looked at her dubiously. "Yea that'll go over well," she said pushing her horse forward.

Tristan watched her for a half a second before following her. He said nothing because there was nothing to say to her. She shouldn't have come. She was still healing. Things happen. Perhaps he was just worried for her safety.

They continued on simply because of the eerie lack of sound and movement. Tristan had since begun to lead Cara through the trees, much to her disapproval, but she followed without a word. Tristan suddenly stopped. His hawk chirped and flapped its wings, wanting to take off. Tristan gave it a head start into the air, before dismounting.

Cara followed his example, pulling her bow away from her body and loosely strung an arrow. Tristan watched her warily and she sent him an annoyed look, but neither one said a word. They continued a few feet on foot before Cara picked up the voices.

They were loud and hearty, much like Bors. Cara knew it was the rebels. They sounded completely Roman and full of themselves. She inched forward. There were roughly twenty to thirty men in the encampment. They had a fifty-fifty shot at all of them getting out alive.

Cara's eyes caught one man in particular. His blonde shaggy hair was unforgettable. He was the one that had escaped the first time. Well he wouldn't escape this time. Tristan caught her gaze and the malice in her eyes. He barely had time to tackle her to the ground once he realized what she was about to do.

She did not fight back. She simply lay there. Tristan's gaze was deadly. He wasn't about to get dragged into a fight they weren't prepared for simply because Cara was being foolish. If there were only ten of them he would have let her make the shot without a thought or hesitation, but the odds were not on their side as it was.

He grabbed her wrist, dragging her to her feet and he didn't stop there. He dragged her all the way back to the horses. Cara simply followed. Now that she was actually thinking it would have been a stupid move and she would have regretted it the second she had released her arrow. Cara mounted up and spun Aidan back towards the knights. Tristan traveled behind her just in case she got another one of her bright ideas.

They slowed their horses to a trot as soon as they were a safe distance away. Tristan instantly pounced like a lion on a helpless field mouse. "What was that?" he hissed sharply. Cara dropped her head in shame. "Answer me," he growled impatiently.

"He was there," she answered truthfully, but softly. This only confused Tristan.

"Where?" he asked. His voice was still harsh, but softer. If that makes sense.

"The first time," she said, trying to make him understand in a way that wouldn't bring up the painful memories she had since repressed. It took him a moment to fully comprehend what she was saying and then he understood.

"Killing him wouldn't have made things better," he responded finally. His words were careful, but Cara ended up taking them the wrong way anyway.

"Yes it would've," she quickly disagreed. "It would have given me peace." Her head hung low in anger and shame.

"That's not what I meant," Tristan snapped, somewhat angrily. Cara looked at him, waiting for a clear explanation of what he meant. "You shooting one of them would have only made things worse," he said. "Then you and I would both be dead."

Cara had thought of that. That was one reason why she let Tristan manhandle her the way he did. Even Tristan was surprised, usually she fought back. "I know," she responded softly and shamefully.

"Then why?" he asked. His voice was rough and harsh. She deserved to be yelled at. Age didn't matter to Tristan and he would gladly yell at Arthur if he could. Tristan was so reserved for the other knights, but for Cara he was different. She saw a side of him that no one else saw.

"I wasn't thinking," she admitted. Her voice held humiliation and dishonor. Tristan let out an exasperated sigh, but said nothing. She knew she had done wrong and there was no reason for him to berate her further. They had to get back to the rest of the group.

The Romans didn't look like they were going anywhere for the time being, but there was no telling what they could do next. The ride was silent for a time. They kept their horses at a walk, due to the mud and it only made the situation even more awkward for the both of them.

"Cara," Tristan's voice was rough, but the callousness was gone. She only looked at him with question in her eyes. "You need to pay attention out there," his advice was strict and left no room for Cara's smart comebacks.

"I know," she answered simply. Tristan didn't say anymore. In fact neither one of them did. The rest of the ride back was silent, until they reached the remaining knights.


	40. It's My Life

_**40 – It's My Life – Bon Jovi **_

Tristan hadn't told Arthur about Cara's incident with the Roman's. He simply told him where they were located and that they need to move fast. Cara was quick to follow Tristan and the scouts led the way through the winding woods.

The silence was broken by the pounding hooves of the horses and after a few minutes of heavy riding they halted. They could go no further on horseback. One; their horses would be safer here and two; they didn't need the men knowing they were coming. It was quieter this way.

They stalked the woods silently and efficiently. The Roman's were loud to say the very least, louder than Bors even and their voices carried through the brush. Arthur stopped the knights so he could get a good look at what they were dealing with.

Arthur counted thirty-two men sitting and joking around the fire. He silently ordered the knights to spread out around them. They would take as many out as they could with arrows before committing to hand to hand combat. The pairs were normal. Cara went with Tristan. Bors went with Dagonet. Gawain and Galahad were together and they dragged Arthur along with them.

Cara searched the camp for her personal target, he wasn't in sight. Tristan caught the look of disappointment in her eyes, but chose not to comment it at the moment. Instead he turned his gaze back to the enemy. Both scouts nocked two arrows to their bow strings waiting for Arthur to give the order.

A shrill whistle sounded through the trees and the scouts let loose their arrows. Nine men fell dead and eight more followed before the rouges realized what was happening around them. All the sudden Cara's man appeared. His sword was drawn, but his face held a scared expression. Cara had to smile at his fear. The man immediately took to the trees and ran from the clearing. He wasn't going to get away that easily and Cara ran off after him.

"Cara!" Tristan warned, angrily, but did not heed him. She was catching up to him. Cara slung her bow over her shoulder as she ran and drew her sword in its place. Suddenly, the man whirled around to face his opponent.

Cara barely had time to block and the man was surprised that his opponent was a woman. He stood a few feet away, but Cara's sword remained poised at his throat. He laughed aloud in amusement. "Well, well, well," he mused, sliding around her. Cara followed his steps, never once turning her back on him. "What do we have here?"

Two could play at this game and Cara knew how to get to a person. One of the many qualities that annoyed the knights was about to become an advantage. "I'm hurt you don't remember me," she said innocently. Her voice was soft and angelic. If she didn't have a sword in her hand you wouldn't believe she had taken life.

The man laughed heartily and lowered his sword so that it pointed to the ground. "Oh I remember you. After all how could I ever forget such a face," he soothed. Cara smirked. He was playing with her and he seemed to think that he would be the one getting out of this fight alive.

Cara followed his example and took a step back. She twirled her sword in boredom. "I'm flattered really," she said, trying hard not to laugh. "But you should try and settle with someone a little more in your league."

The man's eyes were lustful as they circled. "Oh you are in my league. Killer matched with killer," he pointed out.

Cara couldn't contain her laughter as she raised her sword. She was done playing. "You forgot one thing, Roman," she said venomously. The roman raised his sword as well.

"What's that?" he asked. His voice filled with curiosity and desire.

"I'm not heartless." With that she lunged, but the man was ready and he deflected her blow. The two circled again.

"Don't do that princess," the man cooed. "I would hate to have to kill you."

"Funny…" she mused. "I'm thinking quite the opposite about you." The man's smile fell off his face and Cara laughed once more. "You seem surprised."

This time the man lunged at her and Cara felt his blade slice her upper arm as she attempted to block. She stumbled backwards; stunned that he had gotten past her defense. A devious smile spread over her opponent's face. He wasn't going to win that easily. She had enough with the mind games and lunged at him.

The blonde haired man seemed surprised with the strength behind her blows. He spun away from her, but as he spun Cara took advantage of his momentary weakness and swung at the back of his knees. Blood spurted from the tendons and the man fell to his knees.

"Stupid wench," he spat, but his face contorted with pain. She allowed a devious smile of her own to cross her face.

"It's not the first time I've been called that," she said smugly. The man struggled to get up, but he wasn't going anywhere. With one strike of her sword, Cara chopped off the Roman's head. His headless body fell forward. Cara wiped the blood that had spattered on her face and took a deep breath. Her battle was over, but she needed to get back to the others as soon as possible. She had no idea how they fared and up until now she had forgotten about them.

Cara took off back in the direction she had originally come. Her legs were still shaking from her own battle, but she pushed herself faster and further. She was relieved to find that it had gone somewhat smoothly for the rest of them. Bors wrapped her in a hug when she had seen she returned and Tristan gave her a small nod which she returned.

Galahad was getting a bleeding leg taken care of by Dagonet and Arthur was tending to his own wounded side. The others seemed unscathed, but where covered in the blood of the Romans they had slain. "Where've you been?" Gawain asked, as he examined Cara's bleeding arm.

"I had to take care of something personal," she grinned. Gawain only gave her a small smile, not quite sure of what she meant, but Tristan understood and she didn't miss the small grin that passed over his face. She winced as Gawain bound the wound a little tighter than it needed to be, but the pain soon passed. Arthur was standing now and Galahad was leaning on Gawain for support.

"Well, I don't know about all of you, but I'm ready to go home," Cara said. The rest of them nodded and very slowly made their way back to the horses. They were in for a long ride home and there was plenty of light left in the day.


	41. Home

_**41 –**_ _**Home – Daughtry **_

Cara and Tristan led the group and they stayed at least six horse lengths ahead of them. Arthur seemed like he was in pain with each step the horse took and Cara couldn't help, but turn around every five seconds to make sure he and Galahad were still seated in the saddle. Tristan only watched the road ahead.

"Stop worry about them, Cara," Tristan finally scolded. "Dagonet's back there with them. He's watching them." Cara nodded, knowing that what he said was true, but she continued to glance behind her. Nothing Tristan would say seemed to help her conscious. She didn't want them ending up like Lancelot. Tristan chuckled lightly. This immediately caught Cara's attention.

"You just laughed," she observed, almost laughing herself. Tristan glanced over at her and gave her a slight smirk. Cara smiled to herself and turned her attention back to the road ahead. As they moved forward the world grew darker and Tristan rode ahead to find a place to rest for the night.

It was a clear night. A rare thing in Britain and for once Cara could see the stars. Tristan had already taken the liberty of starting a fire and Cara could see the glowing flames through the trees. He never ceased to amaze her.

"Good ol' Tristan," Bors boomed, when he saw the fire. The rest of the knights seemed just as pleased with the scout. Cara took it upon herself to tend to the horses and no one else seemed to complain. Tristan and Bors gave her a hand, just so the job would get done faster. Besides, Cara looked exhausted, though neither one had the guts to say anything

As soon as the horses were brushed and tied down for the night, Cara went to the fire. Dagonet was tending to Arthur's wound, which left Galahad to Cara. She knew how to stitch wounds and from the looks of it Galahad's injury needed it. She grabbed a few things from Dagonet before sitting down beside the youngest knight.

She unwrapped the blood soaked cloth carefully, making sure she didn't hurt him. "What did you do to yourself?" she asked, dabbing at the long gash that still bled freely. Galahad however didn't find the joke funny and simply groaned when Cara rubbed a little too hard. "Sorry," she apologized.

Galahad waved her apology off. Cara stitched the wound quickly and efficiently and bound it securely when she was done. Galahad had passed out sometime while she was working and Cara didn't blame him. He had been in a lot of pain beforehand. Not to mention he was a pup.

Cara settled herself by the fire and Gawain sat next to her. "You should get some sleep," he advised, observing her half drowsy state.

"So should you," she shot back lightly. Gawain chuckled and it was silent for a moment.

"I know that look," Gawain said softly. Cara drew her eyes away from the fire to look at the knight that sat next to her. He looked so serious and Cara was tired of everyone being so serious lately.

"And?" she asked, waiting for him to tell her his thoughts. Her voice held a certain amount of playfulness, like something a small child would have. Gawain smiled lightly.

"You're thinking." Cara burst into a fit of laughter and Gawain laughed along with her. He seemed to have a knack for stating the obvious.

"Gawain, how did you manage to guess that?" she asked through her laughter. Gawain simply laughed, but it didn't last long. Dagonet called for Cara's assistance in attending the two wounded. Cara was still laughing when she made her way over to Arthur.

Her hands were gentle as she unwound the bandage so she could examine the wound. She poked and prodded just because she wanted payback. Arthur groaned and Cara poked the wound harder, but not hard enough to make it bleed. She wasn't that cruel.

"I guess I disserve that," he said through his teeth. Cara smiled up at him.

"Only slightly," she smiled. Arthur chuckled softly. Cara seemed to have that effect on people. No matter what the situation she could always make them laugh. It was a quality that they admired. It was a quality that kept them sane.

She smeared the nasty salve over the wound and Arthur groaned. "Ok, I don't know what I did to disserve that," he said grimacing and wincing. Cara didn't chuckle at his lame joke.

"You got yourself hurt," she scolded seriously. "You ought to be more careful." Arthur didn't seem to take her warning seriously, because he laughed at her remark.

"Do you know how many times I could've said that to you?" he asked, continuing to laugh. "You know Cara; you really should take your own advice."

"Yeah that'll be the day," Bors laughed, choosing now to enter the conversation. Cara scowled at him, but it was in a friendly manner. Each of the knights laughed, even Tristan let out a dark chuckle. Cara finished wrapped the wound tightly, making sure that it would staunch the blood flow.

"Get some rest, Arthur," she ordered as she tied off the bandage. "You need it."

"Take your own advice, Cara," he responded in the same tone. "We don't need you falling over too." Cara gave him a small smile, but headed back to the fire. She wasn't tired yet. In fact she was far from going to sleep. She was excited to get home.

She wondered what Lancelot was doing right now. She knew he was under the watchful eye of Vanora, but that didn't stop her from worrying. She missed him and she didn't know how much longer she could wait to see him again.

The other knights seemed to sense her need to get home. Heaven forbid they spend more than a few days apart. It was an odd thing. First it had taken Lancelot so long to realize how he felt about her. Then it had taken Cara even longer to accept the fact that there was love after death. And even after all of that it had taken the two of them so long to realize that they couldn't live without one another.

Their closest friends had seen it firsthand, from Cara's breakdowns to Lancelot's near death experience. Lancelot and Cara had been there for one another and the knights had seen the way each one looked at the other. It was a look of pure love and devotion. A look that said each one would be willing to give their life for the other.

Cara stared into the flickering flames. She wanted to go home. She wanted to go back to the one place she truly belonged…in Lancelot's arms.


	42. Far Away

_**42 – Far Away – Nickelback **_

Today was the day. It had been two days since the knights had started their journey home. It had taken twice as long due to the two wounded. Their pace was slower and more careful than it had been. Cara wasn't a complainer, but everyone could sense the urgency in her pace.

Arthur was half tempted to tell her to ride ahead, but he knew the response he would get. Cara wasn't the kind of person to abandon them just so she could get home quicker. She would stay with them to the end and telling her to ride ahead would only piss her off.

Tristan's hawk stayed on his arm which told Cara one thing. They were almost home. "How much longer," Galahad whined. He was all too eager to get home to a nice warm bed and a hot bath. Not to mention the countless women that would want to look after him.

It was no surprise everyone looked at the two scouts. Cara however looked to Tristan. "Two hours," he responded simply. Cara knew she and Aidan could turn that two into a one, but she honestly didn't want to leave the knights. She wasn't that disrespectful.

Finally the large wall was in view and Cara was literally bouncing in the saddle. "Excited, Cara," Bors joked. Cara turned around in her saddle so that she could face them. The other knights laughed.

"Only a little," she admitted, with a smile of her own. She stayed turned in the saddle for a few more minutes before turning her attention back to the sight in front of her.

"Why don't you ride ahead, Cara?" Gawain suggested. Arthur would have smacked him if he had long enough arm. Cara shook her head.

"And leave you all behind?" Cara shook her head. "I don't think so." Arthur was right. It had pissed Cara off. She didn't like being told to leave. She wouldn't leave the knights like that, even if it meant getting to see Lancelot sooner.

They traveled for another hour and Cara was practically jumping up and down like a small child. Small chuckles were heard throughout the group, but Cara wasn't paying much attention. Her attention was drawn to the wall. Then they were at the gates. Shouts were heard and the large gates opened. Cara couldn't wait any longer. She kicked Aidan into a gallop and he was all too eager to run.

The black horse sped away from the knights and through the fort. She was almost there. Just a few more strides and they would be together once more. Cara's excitement was bubbling over and her eyes were bright with happiness.

Bors yelled something from behind her, but Cara didn't hear what he said and she didn't care. Her eyes scanned the grounds for his familiar face, but she couldn't find him. She searched high and low, east and west, but there was no sign of the man she had longed to see for so long.

Then she spotted him. He stuck out of the crowd like a sore thumb. One minute he wasn't there and the next, he was waiting for her in the square. His arms were crossed and his dark brown eyes watched her. Aidan didn't even come to a full halt before Cara leaped from his back. She pushed past the people and Romans that littered the grounds. Cara ran full out into his arms, almost knocking him over in the process.

Lancelot wasn't ready for that much force and it took all the strength he had to keep himself from falling over. Cara's arms were wrapped around his neck and Lancelot's were wrapped around her waist. They simply stood like that. Cara breathed in his scent and he smelled exactly how she remembered.

Leather and horse filled her nostrils. Cat calls and wolf whistles were heard from behind, but even they weren't enough to tear her away. She just couldn't let him go. She missed him way too much and right now all she wanted was for him to hold her.

"I missed you," she mumbled into his shoulder. Lancelot only hugged her tighter.

"I missed you too," he replied, pulling away from her. Cara turned to the knights who were simply watching them. She went to grab Aidan's bridle, but Bors beat her too it.

He gave her a slight grin and a wink. "Go give him some loving," he said nodding towards Lancelot. Cara simply smiled in thanks and turned back to her lover. She grabbed his hand mischievously.

"Come on," she urged with a smile on his face. Lancelot had a smile on his face as well.

"What –," he started, but Cara interrupted him.

"Just come on," she laughed, leading him towards her chambers. About halfway there he caught on to what she was doing and what she wanted. She led him down the empty halls and Lancelot eagerly followed. He had been waiting forever for this moment.

Cara practically threw him on the bed and Lancelot didn't object the slightest. Her lithe hands had no trouble undoing his shirt and Cara could help but stare at the muscles. A few scars trailed his ribs and chest, but they looked attractive on him. He was so fit and Cara began to feel self conscious about her own image.

Lancelot undid his trousers himself, but Cara was starting to doubt herself. She wasn't the prettiest thing out there and she couldn't imagine Lancelot wanting to look at her scarred body. Lancelot didn't seem to care. He pulled off her tunic and then pulled away her leggings. She was almost completely naked in front of him. All that remained was her breast bindings and she couldn't meet his eyes. Lancelot pulled away the bindings to reveal the magnificent sight that lay behind him.

In Lancelot's eyes, he had never seen a woman so beautiful. Her curves drew him to her like honey and her pale yet soft skin was begging him to come closer. Cara however didn't look at him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and forced her to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking deep in her eyes. Cara looked at him with her soft blue eyes.

"Aren't you appalled at the sight of me?" she asked. "My scars can't be that attractive." Lancelot gave her the smallest of smiles and drew her close to him.

"Cara, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on," he said truthfully. With that she allowed herself to be taken by the one man she could share her life with. The one man that loved her for all she was worth. The one man who was able to see past the scars and into Cara's heart.

_**~ The End ~ **_

_*******_

_**Well there you have it. Like it? Hate it? Review? I hope you enjoyed it and if you didn't then I'm sorry. Again it was just something that popped into my mind and I couldn't get rid of it. I have an idea for a sequel in my mind, but I don't know if I will ever write or publish it. As of now it's kind of just floating around. I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistake. I recently had my wisdom teeth out and I'm pretty drugged up. Again I apologize and hoped you enjoyed this story as much as you did Shattered. **_

_**Love always, **_

_**~ You Raise Me Up**_


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